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| Through the roof of your mouth, through to mouth of your eye, through the eye of the needle, it's easier for me to get closer to heaven then to ever feel whole again.

We made love on the living room floor with the noise in the background of a televised war. And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say, "If we walk away, they'll walk away." The clocking is ticking, and I'll be giving my two weeks. Pick your favorite shade of black. You'd best prepare a speech. Say something funny, Say something sweet. But don't say that you loved me.

Secretly you're so amused that nobody understands you.

We had survived to turn on the history channel, and ask our esteemed panel why are we alive. And here’s how they replied: “You’re what happens when two substances collide, and by all accounts you really should’ve died.” You always knew it was on purpose. Yeah what's the point if it don't serve its purpose? "Splintered but focused" you're as good as gold. You're built from distractions for brilliantly dull. I had a better friend in my worst of plans than I ever had in either one of you.

Cheer up and dry your damp eyes and tell me when it rains and I'll blend up that rainbow above you and shoot it through your veins. Cause your heart has a lack of color and we should've known that we'd grow up sooner or later cause we wasted all our free time alone.

"I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. Because they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses." And wisdom is a whisper, and I'm trying to understand. What I say, what I think, where I sleep, when I breathe. What I do with my hands.

Perhaps my father is right about me. I sit there and take in every last word, finding myself powerless. I cry uncontrollably as I am try to be strong and hold it all in. I try so hard, but I can't do it. Most days, I wish I wasn't here, or that I could be anyone but myself. For now, I'll just try to disappear.

In the silence it became so very clear that you had long ago disappeared. And I cursed myself for being surprised that this didn't play like it did in my mind. Jealousy rides with me, such a faithful companion no one could be for a journey that leads to the outskirts of time. But don't worry about me, I'll be fine. It beats being lonely, I'll be fine.

I think that’s its brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective. The hardest part is yet to come.

This is why we won’t delay for your birthday, the secrets that we held that day will be kept straight. All your friends have gone away so let's celebrate. You're holding hope open for the one making you wait. I watch the sun go down and up again and think of you. You're just too busy seeing red when all I see is blue. I'm sorry, baby, for what I did to you. I don't wanna hear a love song.

He gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18.. Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean, high school? High school - those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

you spent a week in California, and they said it made a difference. Your friend came down from Boston, just to see you off. And that's what he said, and it was partially true. He said, "Would you write me a letter?" You said, that's the one thing that I can't do. She said "I’ll throw myself away, They're just photos after all" I can't make you hang around. I can't wash you off my skin. Outside the frame, is what we're leaving out. You won't remember anyway. I can go with the flow, Don't say it doesn't matter.

I saw you hanging around the corner, I think you wrote something about it, it was a metaphor. It was something about an ice cream shop. You remembered how your friends said you knew how to have fun, so you went to their party, and watched them all get drunk.

Though you'll say something like "how's it going?” Watch me cringe. I never want to hear those words again. And I’ve had friends for whom loneliness was an unfulfilling, consuming monster. An ever expanding void the size of the universe. And I know first hand how it can feel, when you’re torn wide open, those scars still bleeding, It’s somewhere I once hoped I’d never have to go back to, but sometimes you have to, so we have learned to.

These kids I met dressed like insubordination, hopped the latest trend to the nearest bus station. I admit back then I did not know such contempt, I was swept by the current and i just loved to watch them dance. 
So you’ll keep on sitting and say how you know nothing’s new. But I remember talking on the phone to you. And we each knew nothing’s better. And I said “do you take time for something new in your life?” And you said “I don’t, but who does?” She seemed like an alright girl, and I was thinking just one night wont hurt. I remember saying to her I don't want to get much older. Always seem to be on the run. We haven't spoken in so long. We can't get past the how are you. We're not talking like we used to. 
If I painted a tear, would you figure it out? Would it make matters clear? Would it shed some doubt? It's been happening for years. It's a roundabout. Here's a simplification of everything we're going though. You plus me is bad news. But you're a lovely creation and I like to think that I am too, but my friend said I look better without you. 
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| You’re a poet and you're a liar. And it's all for your heart's desire. Your eyes are only seeing gray and you’ll drink the rest of your days away.

I was the third wheel. Fifth wheel? I was the fucking wheel you didn't really need but I still hung around. I thought maybe my silence would one day impress somebody. As of yet, it hasn't done much for me. My silence solidifies until that hollow void erases you. Erases you so I can't feel at all. But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness will end the painful dream of you and me. 
Get rid of the ocean if you ever wanna see me again. Our shores are separated with or without a boat. And you know that nothing lasts forever, and depending on the weather, I'm a changer. And I know if November had been deader. If we'd hidden a bit better, we'd be strangers.

It's all out of hindsight now. Your rearview mirror shows everything somehow and you're all out of open road. You just want to go back home, if you only knew the way. Suddenly between sheets and eyelids I am reminded why I don't do this. I fall in love far too quickly, I never want him to forget me. When you're gone will you call? Will you write?

I’ve been jumping from the tops of buildings for the thrill of the fall. Ignoring sound advice and any thought of consequence. My bones have shattered, my pride is shattered. And in the midst of this self inflicted pain I can see my beautiful rescue.

Promise me that you won't be consumed when you realize we're screaming at the same moon. Shredded by state lines, press my face up to the glass with both eyelids shut. And baby, this won't get any easier. These telephone lines, they don't serve me anymore. Only bringing me bad news, and my hometown only makes me want you more, when I have nothing else to do. 
You know, it's not too late to endure these things: your failed attempts to move me, and what I bring.

So, we let it go to start again, knowing how all our best intentions never lit the world on fire. Lights, illuminate the exit signs, and over the wings, the skies, an open endless sea, crowding up, surrounding me. Can you take this silence like a pill so i can breathe again? I've been trying to ignore the best part of you, but I’m still hoping that I’ll be with you somehow. 
Hey, I think you're cute. Would you like to be my new best friend? We can talk for hours or just lay in bed. You're the kind of kid I could grow old with, so won't you walk with me to the park up the road? I told you that I’d be right back, you said that “I’ll be the judge of that”. Because see, boys, they have a tendency of running from me. As fast as they can, I don't know why, as I just laughed and asked if you'd like a coke, or some sort of assorted beverage from the diner up the road. If so, you should walk with me, feel free to hold my hand, feel free to kiss me on the cheek. Even though I, even though I'd prefer the lips. 
We’re not the same, dear as we used to be the seasons have changed and so have we. We’d waste our weeks beneath the sun, we'd fry our brains and say it's so much fun out here. But when it's all over, I’ll come back for another year. 
I’m not coming back, I’ve done something so terrible. I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me. I'm mixed up, I’ll be blunt; now the rain is just washing you out of my hair and out of my mind. Keeping an eye on the world so many thousands of feet off the ground, I’m over you now. I'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head. I guess I’ll go home now. 
if I had just one bullet, and a trigger, I’d pull it. Shoot my cupid out of the sky, break off his wings, and gouge out his eyes. And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me. Your love is my heart disease. Just give me something to hold onto. It's so clear now that you are all that I have. 
How many lovers would stay just to put up with this shit day after day. How did we wind up this way? Watching the mouths for the words that we say. As long as we stand there waiting, wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose. How do we get there today? 
How can you be so calm when the truth is sometimes living in the eye of the storm. With everything going on around us I feel comfort in the sounds when you say: it will be okay. Like a star that's immune to the light of the day told dreams it could follow me. We stood like statues at the gate. Vacation's come and gone too late. There's so much sun where I’m from. i had to give you away, had to give you away. 
Squeaky swings and tall grass, the longest shadows ever cast. The water's warm and children swim, and we frolicked about in our summer skin. I don't recall a single care, just greenery and humid air. Then labor day came and went, and we shed what was left of our summer skin. On the night you left, I came over, and we peeled the freckles from our shoulders. Our brand new coats so flushed and pale, and I knew your heart, I couldn't win, because the season's change was a conduit. And we'd left our love in our summer skin. 
But you and I should not play those games, the world is coming to an end. It's just the way I see my face, and I could never believe, now I can see it. Now I see where things are turning 'round, and I’d be lonely if you weren't so proud. But if the world could remain within a frame, like a painting on a wall, then I think we would see the beauty. Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed, like a bowl of oranges, like a story told by the fault lines and the soil. 
Comments make me happy. | | |
| So you don't know where you're going and you want to talk. And you feel like you're going where you've been before. You'll tell anyone who'll listen that you feel ignored. Nothing's really making any sense at all.

And tonight she's taking chances, making memories out of what she has. Throwing caution to the wind, it feels good to leave it all behind. I read the body count in the paper and now it’s written all over my face. No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter. Sometimes that's just the most comfortable place.

I've been driving for an hour just talking to the rain. You say I've been driving you crazy and it's keeping you away. So just give me one good reason, tell me why I should stay, 'cause I don't wanna waste another moment saying things we never meant to say. And I take it just a little bit; I hold my breath and count to ten. I've been waiting for a chance to let you in. 
Color the coast with your smile, it's the most genuine thing I’ve ever seen. Threres things I remember and things I forget. I miss you, I guess that I should. Three thousand hundred miles away. But what would you change if you could?

With the wind strong in my face, I’m still staggering through. I am closer to the ground than I will ever get to you. Dirt deep beneath my fingernails, I’m gripping to the floor. I am searching through the world, always looking for something more.
I wish my words came out more romantic and less frantic. These bathrooms walls and your calloused hands make me scream for sunlight. When you wake up to white walls and endless halls there's a emptiness that echoes through it all. so sit back on your bed, with your mind medicated and your senses stuck on the sick scent of the dead.
I see a sense of wonder deep inside your eyes as we're sparkling and twirling in the twilight and after three long years, I think that we both need this, so we seal the deal in the parking lot with a kiss. In the day by day collision called the art of growing up, there's an innocence we look for in the stars. To be taken back to younger days, when there was no giving up on the people we held closest to our hearts. 
It was the look on your face. It gave you away. It was the way that you said my name, my name. It gave you away. Think of all the fun you had. The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time. Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and I, I can barely smile.

Your lipstick, his collar don't bother angel. I know exactly what goes on. When everything you'll get is everything that you've wanted. Well which would you prefer? My finger on the trigger, or me face down, down across your floor. Well just so long as this thing's loaded. 
This is why we were taught so much better than this. Raise my hands up high, to the falling sky tonight, because this is my life and this is my time. I wrote my failures on my hand. It turned into a book I’m yet to end. This story will progress when I fall flat on my face and get back up again. 
And if I’m on the road for another thousand years or so, I hope you know a part of me is at home. I’ve traded brick for straw in the house I built around my heart. So when you came it wouldn't be so touch, there's no "huff and puff" could dismantle us. No "huff and puff" could dismantle us.

It’s raining in Baltimore fifty miles east. Where you should be, but no ones around. I need a phone call. I need a rain coat. I need a big love. I need a phone call. Even though she doesn't believe in love, he’s determined to call her bluff.

Maybe I should buy a new car. I can always hear a freight train if I listen real hard. And I wish it was a small world. Because I ‘m lonely for the big towns. I’d like to hear a little guitar. I think it's time to put the top down. 
So I’ll bite my tongue 'til it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know. The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else. And I’ve been tricked for so long by you that i spent these last few months in my own hell. Sit and stare, It’s all we do. All my friends are broken, too. We’re just waiting. Waiting to begin.

My mouth is open, my book is shut. My air guitar is out of tune. My stupid hair is so '82 to you. At least I don't fit in. Corner me in chemistry. It’s all just simple math to me. Call me your names. Make them stick. I’ll laugh until I am sick. Glad that that's all through got better friends to do. Just can't remember where I left them. I’ll see you all in class. Except the best, accept the worst. 
I need the song started over. Your crying made me miss my favorite part. I hear the explanation point. It’s times like these I wonder. The violent desire caught me off guard and knocked the wind out of me. That future was lost to me forever, and was never really had been within my grasp. 
Sister site: The_Lovliest_Tradgedy I really love reading your comments. | | |
| I don’t know who I’ve become since that November day when I said I wouldn’t change. And maybe I can’t be surprised. Take my hands; I can twist out lines for every situation. All I have is a heart that’s trained to calculate my losses in the end.

Once you said I was your hero, you would dance with me on a dime. We could spin this world right round, and catch back up on the flip side. I was gonna get this real big engine, I was gonna get them Broadway Stars, you were gonna be my Judy Garland, we were gonna share your Tin Man heart. If I am a clock then you are the time, I'm patiently waiting when you're out of line. And I'll be the question if you'll be the answer.

There's three in the wall from those pictures in the closet, two in the bedroom from that night I lost it, one deep inside me determined to stay. They don't get any bigger but they don't go away. Holes in and around me I keep falling back into; holes digging; it's around me. God knows what I'm gonna do to fill in these holes left by you, left by you. 
If I am a clock then you are the time, I'm patiently waiting when you're out of line. And I'll be the question if you'll be the answer. I took a picture of a girl I once knew, I kept it here in case I ran into you. The look on your face could light up the room, but instead you left. And now I'm sitting with my head on the dashboard, push my seat back and close my eyes. I had this dream that I was on an air plane, afraid to fly.

It's a beautiful sky on a beautiful day, but only you can stretch a smile across my face. I'm broke and I'm hungry, I'm hard up and I'm lonely. I been dancing on this killing floor for years. And of the few things I am certain I'm the captain of my burden. I'm sorry doll, I could never stop the rain.

Do you regret all your loneliness? This ride is drifting slowly to the side. We're swerving off the road, going past the cones that warned us from the start. For all of this I'm better off without you. 
I crossed some standard state lines, and finally found myself so far away from home. And even though New England intrigued us, thrilled us, our bones were cold as sticks and stones. We flew over the cascades just to find ourselves in storms we've never known. You just said, "Relax, I'm only pretending to play God. It's a one time thing, I promise. besides, I can quit when I want." And then the rain fell onto our eyelashes. We closed our eyes on that Tuesday night and held our hands together. But nothing ever happened, and nothing ever will. 
And if the sun will set tonight, hold our secrets up to the sky. As our shadows grow, there's nothing left to hide. And if you ever doubt, you will know that I still wonder how many times did I compare the stars to your eyes. Can you take me back to the person I used to be, back when you were there for me? I know it seems like forever but do me this favor, please. Way back when we were stupid, and held grudges just to help us sleep. Oh my God, how ridiculous were we? 
With your head held high, pretend that you're alright without me. And I'm better now that I'm without your fears. And I'll write this down, sound it out and pretend there's something more left in your town. I'll sit through months away from home without you. And 4,000 miles away is all I need, for you to realize what you need. But you're clean cut and exposed, and I've never felt more at home. But I'll pretend there's something more left in your town. I'm falling in and out of love, finally stopping what we were made of. Oh, you're done. By summer I'll have you on your knees, come August and you'll lie right through your teeth. And it's oh so typical but what I need. I'm writing books through letters, that I'm sure you'll never read. I'm searching through a postcard, to find any trace of me. But you've traded thoughts of me, for this new life that comes cheap. And I can only pray it falls beneath your feet. I'm falling in and out of love, finally stopping what we were made of. 
Now I'm calling all the time. All I wanted was a little bit of time for me to try, try to get up. I'm gonna get up. All they wanted was a little bit of time for me to clear my head, to clear my head. The quiet can scrape all the calm from your bones, but maybe it should. Maybe we need to be hollowed. To get up and grow and stop fucking around, to kick off our braces and start straightening out. Let's sift through the static to find a simpler sound. Simpler sound than the shit that's clouding our heads now. 
But I need the ocean or its sand. Or the high that I felt when you first held my hand. And honey I just can't feel right alone. Alone. Is there hope for this? 'Cause it's you that I miss. And I can't handle another night alone. Please stop the sound in the story line. I'm falling apart. Watch me as I unravel tonight. And sleep through my changing life 'cause I can't handle another long goodbye, another sleepless night. This is my story line. 
And I call her up to let her go today. For a moment thought it easier than being away, but through the tangled thread, the needle finds a way. And I'm asking her to stay. And I've been spending all my time composing letters to a girl who lives a thousand miles away. But writing never takes the place of living, And I need her arms, I need her smile again. 
Wait for me to move out West; It's okay if you don't.. I hope you know you're my favorite thing about the West coast. I wish I stayed, I hope you wait.. So here I am, counting down the days. 
And I'll borrow words from all my favorite paragraphs to write about all of these faded things we hope would mean the most to me, and each line is sent. I have found a new pages of hope for the days when I feel like I've lost everything. I held onto you for as long as I could but today you fell away. Now what I hold are the memories we barely made. I stood on the edge of your bridge until I felt the rain wash me away. My confusion left me fast as the vertigo came. 
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| These memories I keep won't keep me warm at night. The coldest part is the heart we share. It's breaking apart, and you're not even here to say things will get better. 
This is when you start to shake. This is when you start to stutter. This is when you say I love you. This is when you swear it was only for each other.
And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom. 
You toss all the mornings lost to the clouds and you watch it go. Your fair-weather friends on a parachute binge get lost when the wind blows. The handshake's stuck on the tip of my tongue, it tastes like death but it looks like fun. 
Well it looks like rain tonight, and I thank God, because a clear sky just wouldn't feel right. This is fact, not fiction, for the first time in years. All the girls in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone. I'm reaching for the phone to call at 7:03. And on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home. But I know it's too late I should have given you a reason to stay, given you a reason to stay. 
You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead, strength in my bones put the words in my head. When they pour out to paper, it's all for you. Because that's what you do. 
Keep quiet, sweetheart, don't say another word. Let your body do all the talking. And let mine take yours for granted because I'm thinking the worst, and you brought this on yourself. And honestly, if I'm honest with myself, I've cried myself to sleep, crying out, "Oh God, I need you, can you hear my prayer way up there, through the clouds, in heaven? Do you even care?" And honestly, I've never really been honest with myself. Well this melody heals my wounds. And I can't get it out of my head. 
You insist on explaining the obvious when it's pointless. And I'm heartless for saying what's really on our minds. Your words go to rhythm, while mine go to rhyme. You were never good with syllables and half heartfelt lines. 
My lips are sealed, but you still speak in fiction. So keep telling your stories, even though I'll never listen. I heard the bad news. I heard all about you. It's not what you did; it's just what you do. So, quit your crying, and wipe the tears from your eyes. Because this is "see you later." I'm not into goodbyes. Watch the brake lights as I leave your driveway. The warm nights will stay beside me, no matter where I go. 
Holding your breath just to pass the time, don't fill an empty space with the same conversation. I feel your words right behind your kiss. The taste of your lips should be enough, but I just want more, and more. It's never enough to have you wrapped around my finger. You've got me turning blue. We can't put down our pride. When did we think that this would be easy?

Words flow as we are fading. Watch the canvas become our painting. Not all roads lead to Rome 'cause this one leads to the hell back home. You can say it's wasted ignorance. But we're okay, just living in the wreckage. Don't you get the wrong impression. It's just business with the worst intentions. 
So come on, strike up the band with a song that everybody knows. If I'm not your kind, then don't tell a soul. I'm not the one who hates being alone. 
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head. you should know better, you never listened to a word I said. You should know by now. I’m not your friend. You’re raveled up; you take some time to come undone. You look so tired. I know your type. You storm out and tear the walls, the portraits down. It’s what you wanted. It’s how we are.
And if you don't find me on the front page, find a way to say that you saw me. And if you don't find me in a movie, find a way to say that you knew me. You and I got lost along the way, but this will end someday someway. And if you don't find me at all, then I won't care. If I could find a place for the holiday, maybe I could call. You're a pay phone away from the mess that I've become. 
And here we go again with all the things we said, and not a minute spent to think that we'd regret. So we just take it back, these words and hold our breath. Forget the things we swore we meant. It’s getting late, there's no more time for us to waste. Remember how my body tastes; you feel your heart begin to race. 
The picture is far too big to look at kid. Your eyes won't open wide enough, and you're constantly surrounded by that swirling stream of what is and what was. Well, we've made our predictions but the truth still isn't out. But if you wanna see the future, go stare into a cloud. And keep trying to find your way out of that maze of memories. It all sort of looks familiar, until you get up close and it's different.
Too alarming now to talk it out. Take your pictures down and shake it out. Truth or consequence, say it aloud. Use that evidence, race it around. There goes my hero, watch him as he goes. Your lies are bleeding through your teeth. Your eyes, the only one thing in me. Your promises never really meant a thing, but they float from your lips so easily. 
Close your eyes and make believe this is where you want to be. Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love, because love's forgotten me. Well hey, hey baby, it's never too late. Pretty soon you won't remember a thing, and I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing. Your heart's been wasted on me.

How can anybody forget the promise that you made? Because this is how a promise breaks. i always knew you'd fall through, and now you're proof. Tell me why you're looking so confused, when I’m the one who didn't know the truth. How could you ever be so cold? 
I know there's little use in crying. It’s more wide awake and dying then I’m used to. I thought we'd walk these streets together. Now I’m hoping that I’ll never have to meet you. Step aside from all this anger, and somewhere in between I can feel you. Ask me should we try again? I’m thinking no. 
You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? Maybe I should blindly throw my faith into the next thing that comes my way. Standing at the back door with the life that he left behind. 
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