HERES A BUNCH OF QUOTES.
REMEMBER THESE ALL MEAN SOMETHING;;
THEY'RE NOT JUST RANDOM QUOTES

even though you disapate with no goodbye
i see you almost everywhere,
your everywhere,
i'm haunted and all i see is you
i'm haunted and all i need is you,
there is no one else except for you.

Close your eyes, and imagine 5, 10, 15 years from now.
You are with your husband and maybe 2, 3
or so kids and you're a very happy family,
and very self-full-filled and your life is perfect,
just the way you had always dreamed and hoped,
and then your little 5 year old child asks you:
"Mommy, why do you have all those white scars on your arm?"
And then what will you say?
'I used to take a razor and pull it down real slow
and carefully and watch the blood drip out of my skin
so that I could see that I am still alive,
or so I could feel real physical pain instead of emotional pain.'
No, you can't say that to your child.
And even if you do then your child will learn from you
and do the same to themselves whenever they are feeling down.
You don't really want that now do you?

Memories sharp as daggers
pierce into the flesh of today.
The suicide of love took away
all that matters and buried the remains
in an unmarked grave in your heart.

I’m not miserable but I’m not happy.
I’m not strong but I’m not weak.
I’m not rude but I’m not polite.
I’m not popular but I don’t care.
I’m not sexy but I’m not horrid.
I’m not dumb but I’m no genius.
I am girly but I’m also tough.
I’m not you but I am me. accept it.

Thank God I have this ugly fat body
for which to focus on and hate
and spend all my time trying to fix, change, lessen.
Thank God for exercise machines, and diet pills.
Thank God for weight loss.
Thank God I can try and fix the outside
because I just know that the inside is beyond repair.

Let your bones define the beauty of your body
&& you didn’t know it
but all your lectures meant something
maybe I didn’t get help but it did something

So lie to me because innocence is bliss
and baby we're nothing more
than a kindergarten romance.
You leave me desperate ; devastated ;
but tease me one more time
cause I’d just love to cry

Logic forces me to believe in this
and every choice I make
will affect only me
I'm suffocating

When I look into the mirror I feel like throwing up.
I take showers with the lights turned off.
I wear long sleeves and long pants.
That's what I mean when I say I hate this body.
As in, it disgusts me.
Every inch of it. I hate this hair.
I hate this face. I hate these eyes, and this nose and these lips.
Everything is Ugly.
Nothing is Beautiful.
Everything could be Better
. I'm not good Enough.
I hate this chest. I hate these shoulders, I hate this stomach.
I hate this fat. Everything is Ugly.
Nothing is Beautiful. Everything could be better.
I'm not good Enough.
I hate these arms, but I love the stories of my scars.
 I love the way they criss and cross. I love the patterns.
They're me.
They show what I've been through.
They're my secret. And I don't want others to know.
I hate that others won't see what I'll see when they look at them.
I hate that they'll judge me.
I hate that to them they're ugly.
Everything is Ugly.
Nothing is Beautiful.
Everything could be better. I'm not good Enough.
I hate this small waist that doesn't fit into proportion with these big hips.
I hate these hips. I hate this ass.
I hate these thighs. I hate these legs. I hate everything
. Everything. Everything is Ugly.
Nothing is Beautiful. Everything could be better.
I'm not good enough.
I hate this skin.
I want to crawl out of it.
I scratch it hard until it bleeds.
I pull out strands of hair.
I spend forever in the shower; scrubbing so hard I actually break skin.
I don't want this body. This disgusting body.
I hate this body. I will not wear skirts.
I will not wear shorts. I will not wear short sleeves.
I will not allow anyone to see me.
I'll have to bear through the heat. It's my punishment.
For being me.
One of my punishments.
I always do something to hurt myself.
Whether obvious, or not.
Whether intentional, or self-consciously.
Last night, I lay in bed and couldn't sleep;
and I thought about all that's happened in the past three years.
Especially this year.
And I thought about all the pain.
And I picked out each thing and dissected it.
And felt it over again.
And tried to understand everything.
And while I was doing this I was picking at my scabs.
And I made them bleed again.
I often do little things like this and don't ever notice it.
It's like it just comes natural. It's instinct. I bite my nails.
I chew on my lips. I punch doors and walls and lockers.
I lay my hand on the iron when I'm ironing and see how long I keep it there before it gets too unbearable.
I lie up in bed and slowly bang my head against the wall. I squeeze my finger in the rings of my binder.
I dig my nails into my palm.
I hold my breath and see if I can hold it long enough to make myself pass out.
I bite my arm.
I shower in extremely hot water. I don't sleep enough, if at all, at night.
I sleep too much during the day.
I get stomachaches. I get nosebleeds.
I fail tests. I don't do homework.
I hide myself in closets, and under comforters.
I scream into pillows. I sob on school stairways after a bad party.
I let my sister hit me. I let my dad hit me.
I absorb every wrong thing done to me and blame myself for it
It's my fault. It's my fault he doesn't love me.
It's my fault she resents me.
It's my fault she's poor and over worked and over stressed.
It's my fault they left me.
It's my fault they made fun of me. It's my fault he did that to me.
It's my fault I never told. It's my fault he doesn't like me.
It's my fault I'm lonely. It's my fault I'm failing. If only I were smarter or prettier or braver or stronger.
If only I were someone else.
I don't want to be me.
I cry in the shower.
I walk across the street just when a car is speeding down the road. I drink.
I swallow pills.
I over eat. I don't eat. I starve myself.
I throw up. I cut. I hurt myself. I punish myself.
I punish myself for being me.
I hate me......

Some people are just born
With tragedy in their blood.
[[ from donnie darko ]]

These four walls
have seen the worst of me.
They're bleeding confession
but they'll never speak

Forget the things we
swore we meant.

i remember the first time
that i really looked
you in your eyes.
i was thinking to myself,
there will never
be anybody else

Sometimes it just seems that
all you do is give && get nothing in return.
People often overlook the fact that
they have the power to break hearts.
Too often, it’s my heart that is breaking.

You're a little young to become a cynic
of course anything is possible these days.
you say death has targeted all of us
& we have no chance to escape.

She's been fed so many lies
that she's not sure if she can take it anymore.
it's ruined her faith and her trust
and she's lost all hope in this world.

surrounded by people who never truly cared;
they morphed me into their own sick, twisted, little doll.
& now i can't even recognize what i've become.

a mother sits down with her daily glass of wine;
her eyes tell the story her mouth will never voice;
the tale of a cruel man; a father i'll never know.
a man who robbed her of her free spirit
& in turn left her with me. a worthless daughter.
who will now serve as a constant reminder
of what happened that cold october night.

pieces of the past scatter themselves
in my present & future.
i tried to get rid of it
but it keeps on returning in everything i do.

You're all I need
We're losing speed
This can't go on
You're all I see
So speak to me
Am I losing you?

 && tonight my darling, i won't sleep.
because i'm going to do my best
to prevent those dreams of you.

IT'S REALLY PATHETIC
HOW I KEEP TRYING TO HOLD ONTO SOMETHING
THAT'S NEVER COMING BACK.

here i am, just another girl.
as predictable as i may seem, there's so much more.
a girl who doesn't obsess over the shortest skirts,
or the lowest cut tops.
i may look like you're typical girl,
but there's so much more.
i care about my friends, && the people around me.
especially when everyone else doesn't.
&& i don't care if you're "cool" or not.
also i try hardest to forget the pain of my past.
because i've been through more than most.

PEOPLE SAY I'M A BAD INFLUENCE.
I SAY THE WORLD'S ALREADY FUCKED UP,
&& I'M JUST ADDING TO IT.

TOO OFTEN WE DON'T REALIZE
WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE.
TOO OFTEN WE'RE TOO STUBBORN TO SAY,
"I'M SORRY I WAS WRONG."
SOMETIMES IT SEEMS WE HURT THE ONES
WE HOLD DEAREST TO OUR HEARTS,
&& WE LET THE FOOLISH THINGS
TEAR US APART.

&& YOU'RE GOING TO EAT POPCORN IN THE DARK,
&& PAY TEN BUCKS TO SEE MY LIFE ONE DAY.

IMPERFECTION IS BEAUTY.
MADNESS IS GENIUS.
&& IT'S BETTER TO BE ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS,
THAN BE ABSOLUTELY BORING.
&& WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT,
I LET THEM THINK WHAT THEY WANT.
IF THEY CARE ENOUGH TO BOTHER WITH WHAT I DO,
THEN I'M ALREADY BETTER THAN THEM.

please just leave me alone.
let me live my life.
let me love someone other than you.
get out of my every thought.
don't give me looks anymore.
&& most importantly,
please make me forget
how much i miss you.

i'm sorry for the lack of updates
but i am usually grounded from the computer.
i would update more if i could.

You board an airplane, take your seat, and
watch as all the seasons they change;
in a wave of your hand.

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.

i intentionally wrote it out
to be an illegible mess.
you wanted me to write you a letter
but i'd rather lose your address
and forget that we'd ever met
and what did or did not occur

We're just afraid, period. Our fear is free floating. We're afraid this isn't the right relationship, or we're afraid it is. We're afraid they won't like us, or we're afraid they will. We're afraid of failure or we're afraid of success. We're afraid of dying young or growing old. We're more afraid of life than we are death. Promises mean everything when you’re little and the world so big I just don’t understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes and tell me everything is wonderful. I'll be the end of everyone who's ever entered your life And taken pieces out of it. I'll give you enough time to regain your composure To reconstruct a heart that's torn apart from over-exposure I know forever isn't long enough to forget the faces and places that played out your tragedy. it's so hard not to be crushed when you're praying for too much, and the stars refuse to shine for you they do it just to spite. well, they know you're trying too hard. Don't you hate the feeling when your throat hurts from all the tears you're holding back and you can't control the words coming out of your mouth because there are just too many things you haven't said the first time i saw a body bend that way i realized that we're more beautiful dead than alive. then, with bloodied flesh removed, your rib cage ripped away & i saw why they say beauty comes from inside.

You were my cure
& I was your disease
I was killing you &
you were saving me

cause i can't sleep.
you're so far away from me.

sometimes you dont realize
how much you care for someone
until they stop caring for you.

i'll kill to remember.
you'll drink to forget.

I'm dying for a place
iN YOUR HEART

i can't stand it anymore;
i always find myself starting to trust someone
and then i just run away;
it can't happen again;
i won't let myself get close to anyone;
i'll just bring them crumbling down.

she goes unnoticed amongst the crowd;
just another teenage girl,
who shut people out.

she was always abandoned
by the people who were supposed to care;
but she still tried to help
people who just need some hope
by showing them that she recovered eventually.

the pain is etched across her face;
she tries so hard to hide it,
but her eyes sell her out.

Somehow I began to crave pain;
Everything that hurts was heaven,
And I'd strive for perfection.

 the walls collapse
as your life begins to fall apart;
nobody's gonna save you now,
you brought this upon yourself

quotess

i took you for granted.
you were my bestfriend.
where'd did all that go?
why did i have to ruin it?
[[by jade;; but i changed it to suit the way i feel]]

So I picked up the paper,
it was more bad news.
More hearts being broken or people being used.
Put on my coat in the pouring rain.
&& all i could think of was you.

So suck your so called pity down.
Hey, that's not so bad, is it?
So take your cold, cold heart and drown.
And don't forget to take deep breaths.

Standing here looking out my window,
my nights are long and my days are cold cause I don't have you.
I know you said it's over now, but I just can't let go.
Everyday I want to pick up the phone
and tell you that you're everything I need and more

The bad thing about a girl with a broken heart,
is that she starts to hand out pieces to anyone who comes around.

I feel your skin on mine,
this is our last goodbye.
The hardest part of letting go,
are the things you'll never know.

I will be your accident,
If you be my ambulance.
I will be your Schreech and crash,
If you be my crutch and cast.
I will be your one more time,
If you be my one last chance.

So bring on the hurt,
I deserve this pain.
Let me drown in my sorrow
&& die in my shame.

A decade of cutting away,
Dead flesh,
Cauterizing old scars ripped open over and over again
&& it is still not enough.

A little girl with a tear streaked face,
she doesn't belong in this awful place.
[[ to my little sister ]]

This is the way the world must end,
Not with a bang, but a whimper,
A forced out “It’s been fun,”
And then cut to
The End.

Like Romeo and Juliet, we're dying in the end.
We never loved each other, at least I never did
If you did you had a sick way of showing it
Star crossed lovers and the blackest of skies
Had a dream about the 2 of us, one of us died
I'm sorry you had to die like this tonight

so why should i bother?
why do my makeup?
why put up my hair?
its not like tomorrow you will start to care.

Pretty little girl can't see the world
Pretty little girl all locked up
Pretty little girl has to be p.e.r.f.e.c.t
Pretty little girl overwhelmed by everything
Pretty little girl never does anything right
Pretty little girl killed herself tonight.
[[ i love this one so much ]]