Qwennigan's Xanga

Update

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:29:44 GMT

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you

My life might be returning to normal sometime soon. This play is almost over and while I will be involved in the next one (I'm producing - how fancy is that?!), I will be pretty far removed from any politics and drama that arises offstage. Because, I gotta tell you, THIS play has been ridiculous. So ridiculous that I might be playing a part for the final weekend. Why? Because two of our actors aren't speaking to one another and there's a chance that one (or both) of them won't show up for the performance tonight. What's really bad is that's not even the worst thing we've had happen in the course of this show. You would not believe how stressed the whole thing has made me. And yet, this is my hobby. Something I do for fun. I never realized that I had such masochistic tendencies before!

Other than the play, Husband and I have been kinda homebodyish lately. It's weird, for someone who's life is as nonexciting as I profess mine to be, I seem to be out and about a lot. But this week I've gotten to catch up on projects and read and spend quality time with the husband. In fact, I've been a little bit of a Qwenni-homemaker. The house has maintained an overall tidy appearance ALL week (tidy being the operative word, not spotless, I said I'd been a homemaker, not a miracle word), I've cooked some very nice 'from scratch' dinners and even managed to get a bit of baking in. It's actually been really nice.

The kitten is doing well, she's reached a pound in weight and has started pouncing everything she sees. I'll try to add a current picture soon, because she's gotten more adorable (plus, I like the notoriety that comes with having a 'featured photo' on Xanga!).

My job is still crummy, but as someone pointed out to me the other day, I should at least be grateful I have a stable paycheck in today's economic climate. So I'm trying. It helps that they appear to have lifted the Xanga ban on our internet servers! However, my photography business is actually doing ok. I did a maternity shoot a couple of weeks back that turned out phenomenal (if I do say so myself). I'll let you know when I've gotten clearance from my client to post some on my website.

And.... I think that exhausts my stores of conversation fodder. I told you that I was boring like that. I hope everyone has a fantastical weekend!

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Two thoughts

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:50:46 GMT

Takin' care of business, it's all mine
Takin' care of business and working over time

1. I'm not dead. Just busy. I miss you all though.
(a related subthought is that if you're in Kfalls this weekend or next, you should come check out our play. It's crazy funny and the tickets are cheap.)

2. What does "out of memory at line 1" mean?

That's all.

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Sleepless nights

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 07:54:29 GMT

Do me a favor
And tell me what you think about me
Tell me how you want this to be
Go out on a limb and just dream

It's amazing how sometimes in moments that are otherwise filled with calm and quiet (say after a really nice Sunday when your husband is sleeping peacefully beside you) your mind somehow begins pulsing with anxious, restless activity. I'm fully aware that I should be sleeping and content, and yet... I'm awake and strangely filled with anxiety. My head hurts and my tummy is in knots... and I absolutely do not know why.

Believe me, I've had plenty of those nights where I sit and stress about a certain problem or dilemma in my life. I'm one of those people who takes a problem or a situation and turns it over in my head like a worry stone until I know every crevice and detail of it. But this is not like that. It's just the vague feeling that something isn't quite right and sleep continues to elude me. Of course, the more I stress about not being able to sleep, the less sleepy I become and I can't stand warm milk... so here I am.

How about any of you? What causes your sleepless nights? Is it stress or is it anticipation? Do you find yourself revisiting your day or planning for your next one? What do you do when you just can't seem to shut down?

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Monday, September 08, 2008

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:21:06 GMT

I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked (I'm popular)
I got a cheerleading chick (I'm popular)

Holy cats, I'm popular... Ok, the picture of my kitten is, but still.

Yesterday I had 18 messages in my e-mail telling me I had photo comments, today it's 13. Funnily enough, only ONE out of 24 comments (some of which are quite humorous) on the picture of the baby in Husband's hands is from someone I know or have blogged with in the past. Weird.

Anyway, for those of you interested, the baby is officially a girl and we named her Sashimi. (Yes we named her even though we're not sure if we'll be keeping her. I figure someone can always rename her and in the meantime she'll be here for at least 7 more weeks) Unfortunately, at her "well kitten" exam on Saturday we found out that she's not actually doing that well. She only weighed three ounces at five days old and because our cat is older, she's not likely to be the most nurturing or efficient mother. So we're supplementing her feedings with kitten formula and renewing our efforts to keep her mom locked in with her. However, our vet spent an inordinate amount of time warning me that 'nature is cruel' and that I shouldn't 'blame myself' if she didn't make it. Umm... riiiight. No amount of 'logic' is going to overpower how upset I would be if a being that I watched come into this earth, helpless and adorable died.

So I check on her constantly. It's actually a scary inside look into how I'll behave as a mom. Think back to Friends when Rachel's pediatrician firing her for calling too often.... Yeah, I think she was being perfectly reasonable. Her doctor was obviously unduly cranky.

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Mini Z

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 06:14:34 GMT

Love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissie dog
Or hold your purse in the mall, but remember... I'm still a guy

My husband told me a few years back that if I brought home another animal he'd divorce me (I have a problem leaving sad and abandoned looking animals where they are - at one point we had 5 cats and 2 dogs). So.... needless to say, he wasn't too thrilled about the arrival of a kitten (from a cat we'd thought was fixed, no less). Before the baby even came he gave me a 'talking to' about how we're not to get attached and we're not going to keep a kitten and so on.

Guess who has become very attached to our little Mini Z? I'll give you a hint, he's 6'0, built like a bear and looks kinda scruffy and tough but really he's actually a gigantic marshmallow of a softie. That's right, my husband has gone a bit gaga over a tiny little kitten. Though, if you look at the pictures below perhaps you'll see that it would be kinda hard NOT to love something so helpless and adorable. I think that the adorableness may have rubbed off on J because the fact that he's been so protective and concerned about the wellbeing of our unplanned new addition is dead sexy.

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Monday, September 01, 2008

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:16:01 GMT

Every girl wants you to be her man,
But I'll wait my dear till it's my turn
I'm no the kind of girl to give up just like that
Oh nooooo.

Interesting story... the cat I thought was a) fixed and b) old enough to have gone through kitty menopause is currently having kittens in my bathroom. Funny how the world works, huh? Worse, I've never seen a cat have kittens so I rushed her to the vet all freaked out that she was bleeding to be told, "Congratulations, you're about to be a grandma." When I looked at the vet dumbfounded and said, "She's fixed," he simply gave me a wry smile and said, "Apparently... she's not." Yeah, I looked like an idiot.

But that's not even the important part. I'm inordinately worried for my little cat. I realize cats have been having kittens since the dawn of time but I'm still a little bit anxious for her.

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Edit: I'm glad I followed my instincts and stayed up with my poor little cat last night (that's right, I sat on the bathroom floor and read all night while everyone else went to comfy beds, even though Brother and Husband thought I was being excessively paranoid). But my kitty did end up having complications (did I mention she's a bit old for kittens?) and I was glad I was there for them. It was a mildly terrifying for awhile and definitely traumatic for all of us (her, me, my husband... the vet who got a 2 a.m. call for help). But Zorina is ok now and she's a proud mother of one tiny little kitten. It's black and I'm pretty sure it's going to have white socks and a white throat like she does. I've been calling it 'Mini Z'.

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vacation, break, holiday, recess, leave, whatever you want to call it, that's what I'm doing

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:56:44 GMT

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom

GUESS WHAT?! I have one full month of vacation ahead of me! That's right, school is OUT (I have this strange urge to add of 'bitches' to the end of that sentence, but I'll refrain)! That's not to say I won't be busy, I need to do the finish work on pictures from a wedding I did a couple of weeks ago, I have a photo shoot this weekend and two photo books to design. Plus, I'm assistant directing at the Linkville (Funny Money opens Sept 19 for those of you interested, it should be fun) and just agreed to do the monthly newsletter for my photography club. I just may be a glutton for punishment.

Luckily, I can sleep in and accomplish most of those things on my own time, so I'm ok with the gluttony.

On an entirely different note, I looked up the song I used in the top just so that I could hear it and revel in the rebellious, Pink Floyd goodness before I used it in my blog. Of course, the first two links were Wikipedia and uTube (seriously, those seem to ALWAYS be at the top of a search, have you noticed that). So I went to watch the video, which I'd never actually before...

Oh. My. God. Have you ever watched it? It's freaking disturbing. I was expecting the kids walking off the end of the conveyor belt to come out the bottom working class adult drones or perfect Stepford people or something, NOT ground meat.

Now that I'm thoroughly disturbed (and just because I CAN!), I'm going to take nap.

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Thursday, August 14, 2008

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:05:35 GMT

Everybody's talking and no one says a word
Everybody's making love and no one really cares
There's Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs
Always something happening and nothing going on

Ok, Ling has me hooked. Here are my first wordie(s). I've always loved word art so this site pretty much kicks ass. I'm actually considering hanging one up somewhere in the house. We'll see what Husband says when he sees what I spent my morning doing, I guess.

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Portland is leaving

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:09:42 GMT

This is the kind of comedy where no one's laughing cause it's hard to
I'm a punchline who's punch drunk with my fist in a broken mirror

There's a party nearby I can hear laughter in the distance and it's all coming clear

American historian, Frederick Jackson Turner, posited that pioneers who moved into ‘frontier zones’ were significantly changed by the encounter. He argued that the unlimited free land offered in these zones offered a psychological sense of unlimited opportunity which, consequently, caused its inhabitants to become optimistic, future-oriented and prone to wastefulness. He claimed that the new civilizations created in these zones broke the bonds of custom, offered new experiences and created new institutions and activities. I think that same frontier spirit is just as much a part of modern Oregonians as it was of those who arrived here on covered wagons over 150 years ago.

How can it not be? Even though land is no longer free and we have learned that just because we have a lot doesn’t mean we can use it indiscriminately, how can we look around this state full of lush forests, snow-capped peaks, breath-taking coasts, barren high deserts and picturesque towns and not feel optimistic?

I love the fact that, if I want to, I can tour a vineyard or a world-famous cheese factory, see a Tony-Award winning theatre production, ski the highest peak in the cascades, drink a glass of local (and gourmet) beer, attend a farmer’s market and visit a site on the historic registry with only one refill of my gas tank. In other states people can drive for hours to do even one of those activities and some of them are completely unheard of without planning an extensive vacation. Meanwhile, my husband and I have had almost that exact itinerary on numerous weekend adventures.

Personally, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride in my home state each time someone says to me, “You skied HOW many times last year?” Or, “Your parents taught you how to sail, kayak and hike before you learned to drive?” Or even, “Why is it that people out here talk so much? You’re all so dang friendly.”

I get a thrill of satisfaction when I read in a national news source how Portland has once again won recognition for its exceptional urban planning and walkable civic places or how Oregon leads the nation in this social practice or that green technology. Maybe everyone feels that way about the place they were born and raised, but I can’t help but feel that without our frontier zones and the opportunities offered to us by our ancestors’ adventurous spirits we’d be just another pile of brick and mortar.

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The cheesiest

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:26:10 GMT

We are, we are the saints
We signed our life away
Doesn't matter what you think
We're gonna do it anyway

I know. I KNOW it's pure cheese but there's something about some of the reality shows that just makes me happy. Not the Fear Factors or the Wife Swaps or the Bachelors where people are simply making fools of themselves for 15 minutes or a few thousand dollars (not that those don't have their appeal as well). But the ones where people have to actually compete on a talent or skill; ones where they have to outperform their peers with creativity and wit and maybe a little bit of fool-making.

These shows not only make me happy, they inspire me. They make me want to be a more creative, driven person. They give me hope that people can and do follow their dreams. Whether it's American Idol, Last Comic Standing, America's Next Top Model or Project Runway I watch with avid attention and root for my favorite (right now I'm leaning toward Jeff Dye on LCS and I have to admit that I'm shamelessly rooting for my fellow Oregonian, Leanne, on Project Runway). I let myself get caught up in the dramas playing out not only in the challenges and performances but also in the horrid forced-to-live-together house situations. I make comments to my husband like, "Oh I don't think Tyra is going to like that." or "Wow, Tim isn't usually so MEAN," as if I actually know these people.

I also turn my tv off after an evening of watching these shows thinking I can sing or tell jokes or sew which is so SO not true that it makes me laugh. Which makes me happy in and of itself.

Oh well. We all must have a guilty pleasure and mine is havarti in a world of swiss. :).

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