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| so i saw blue october last night.. it was a great show
and i confessed my feelings to a guy who i knew i was taking a crazy big chance on..
and i think im a sad ole bloke..
ugh inside hurts again.. chest pains.. sinking heart..
it never feels good to be rejected but i think i was.. totally.. rejected......
ugh
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| This is my rare instance of posting in my xanga but I had such an amazing dream imo, that I have to record this down.
Blue October, a band that I sort've have been obsessing about for the past however long, I think the lead singer is absolutely hot.
So.. I had a dream about him... I don't know what it was I think I was doing some technical work on the stage, with someone else, and thats how I got to know them in my dream. So, everyone decided to go to sleep right there on stage for some reason and I was on my side and then I kept feeling like someone touching my ass, but it was like, gentle, kinda "tease" kinda.. hrm lets see if hes gay, type of touches. Of course, I was like huh!? But then it felt so good I slowly started to like move closer and closer to it and the hand was so definitely soft, and it definitely groped my ass. Oh man, it was the one of the best gropings ever, I think I popped a boner immediately, and then I turn around and it was fucking Justin Furstenfeld!!! God hes so fucking hot.. =/
So after that apparently we were cuddling a lot, and we fell asleep, and the next morning we acted like nothing ever happened. It's really unfortunate, that it happened.. that way.. cause I'm not gonna lie, I was a little bit hurt. So, moving on, some how we're at my house, him and his band, and its night time again, and.. we sleep in my bed, him and I... and then move to my parents bed for whatever reason. So we're cuddling again and snuggling, and like there is definite groping again and we kiss, a lot. So we fall asleep again, but in the morning no one is there, its just me on the bed, and I'm like oh no, where did they go and I find like a lot of tissues everywhere with seemed like small stains of blood on them, it looked like a nose bleed or something. Even in my room there was a lot. Then I didn't hear from him for a while.. I got really depressed that they just upped and left. I then saw that they were out performing and they were summoned to court for some odd reason, and I'm smoking a cigarette in court for some reason. I was told to put it out and I did, and I acted like I forgot. I then see Justin in the seat where people get prosecuted and I was like oh no!!! He looked around and he saw me but made eye contact with me only for a brief moment and he turned around.. I felt shunned.. I left immediately, and I went out apparently into something like a lounge area, like one you would find in a hotel where like 2 girls were and they were eating cookies. Or some shit. I was so depressed, I joined them.. and I decided to write Justin a card.. asking what I did wrong and why he just left.. Then I was walking home alone, with all of their next concerts written out on a looseleaf paper and was getting ready to cry when I saw none was in New York, but then I saw, that one of them was in parkslope and I got really excited. Then my dream fast forwards a little, to the concert and I see him and he sees me. He goes about his business with the concert and all, and then afterwards, he comes to me, hugs me, slaps me on the ass and leaves.
I was standing there in tears, noticing that he never opened the card I gave him because it was still sealed in the envelope on stage.
I then woke up with a fucking crazy ass hangover from last night, wooooo was that fun.
But fuck man, the way he was touching me drove me nuts. Of course I would know what I like in my dream but plus it was Justin,.. god I have the hottest fucking crush on him! Still made me sad he left me in the end of my dream.
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| Spiderman 3? Flippin' amazing.
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| I need to talk about this, even though I don't even like to blog that much anymore..
Virginia Tech.
I have absolutely no ties to that school except for the fact that the shooter was identified to be an asian. I can't wait to see what happens to the asian community.. From Pearl Harbor with the Japanese, to the Middle Easterners for 9/11 and now to Asians from V-tech. I'm just stating right now, I'm gonna be so pissed if shit starts going down with discrimination.
I feel for the families @ V-tech for sure.. I can't even begin to describe what it is.. 33 People including the gunman. In my honest opinion, classes should've been canceled after TWO people died. I mean wouldn't they have gotten enough witness reports?? A short two hours later.. a slaughter.. gunshots rang through the halls and classrooms of Viriginia Tech's campus. How sick is it of a man who locked the DOOR of a fucking classroom so that no one could escape, to blow each and every one of their brains out.. This is deplorable. The worst shooting since the Texas massacre where 16 students died.. followed by the 13 in columbine. This is a college, people go to get educated and behave adult like... I'm so curious at what his motive was... it was reported by the Nytimes that he went for his ex-girlfriend first... was this just a rage driven by a love gone wrong?? Terrible. It's still so fucking hard to believe that... he would murder a classroom full of students.. School is a place to learn, and it is supposed to be safe from violence.. why is it so..inhumane of this god forsaken man!?
I would never be able to imagine what I would do if this was at Hofstra.. I'd die inside if my friends were brutally slaughtered.. and I would be forever changed... I would want to seek revenge.. a hate that would drive me to find out who this fucker was and where his family resided so I could take justice into my own hands... I don't know.. I'm not that ballsy.. but I would weep.. I'd probably have to take a semester off.. I'm sorta distressed right now even thinking about it.. FUCK why can't we just learn from our mistakes.. goddamnit this guy was a real bastard.
Condolences.. condolences...to Virginia Tech families and friends..
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| booga booga xanga xanga ive abandoned you!!!
maybe? i dunno
gibberish ftw!!
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