Interests:I guess kicking people in the ass has always been kind of interesting.. I'm open about all types of music I'd get bored if I wasn't and am pretty much open minded in general (and by open minded, no I don't mean gay,lol), Movies w/ creative plots and scenarios or just real fucking funny, lifting weights, cooking, boxing, sleep, more sleep, even more sleep;). I'm a huge mixed martial arts fan, boxing fan, and at times futbol. I don't know I can get interested in almost anything;) Oh and figuring out life's mysteries, once you start you realize... eh, you figure it out =D Expertise:Masterbating... My mind man.. Masterbating my mind by reading books and watching a lot of documenteries. You know those ones that come on the History, Discovery, and Science Channels? I fucking love those!!! That and never letting anybody ever get the best of me. NEVER!!! This means you bitch!!! ...lol.... Ohh and uhh implementing the use of Divergent Thought;) Other than that I'm pretty damn good at being an asshole. I wouldn't say I'm a expert yet though... Occupation:Artist Industry:Writing Arts: all
...thats right I took George Carlin's advice and made a list. So I dedicate this post to his legacy.
Let's start with the grown adult who even after reaching maturity still thinks it's bad to use strong language, or worse the bastards who use those little cutesy words to replace them! You know those assholes I'm talking about! Those fucking people that use replacement words, like frig, or dang, or even worse poopy. I mean, these are grown ass people!!!
And what about those people who get offended when someone uses strong language in jokes or art so they protest to the government who then censors every little thing? Man, these people got some nerve eh? I mean, where were you during the universal health care march huh?
So you know what I say? I say fuck those people, and fuck those peoples dogs and cats! The fact that they get offended when someone uses strong language in jokes or art offends ME!!! Thats right! It offends me, as an artist who's intelligent enough to realize it's just psychology that was past along from generation to generation and probably evolved from some puritan fuck-head who one day woke up seen his wife fucking the lawn boy, and decided to take it out on his children who said he was a pathetic piece of shit because he couldn't satisfy that slut he called his wife!
You see, you could take --ANY-- group of words to tell your children are wrong and dirty to say, tell them that their whole life, and chances are that they'll grow up to get offended or cringe a little bit whenever someone says those words.
What do you know, see how that works?! ..but you can't tell people that shit. why? Because some people are stupid.
The religious people who go to confession and think they're cleansed of their sins after saying 32 hail mary's and a few our fathers.
I mean, wtf is this shit, and wtf do you think god has obsessive compulsive disorder or is fucking def?! I think he/she/they can hear you the first time, and thats even if they're listening to your sinful sleeping with the neighbors spouse or masterbating in their front lawn while wearing nothing but a t-shirt that says 'number one dad' while having a pompom sticking out of your ass in the first place! I mean, your own wife/husband doesn't even like listening to you so why would god want to?!
The guy who knocks on wood...
I just don't get this shit I mean, do you expect someone to knock back or open the door? And how many knocks do you have to knock to make sure that what you just said isn't jinxed? I mean, whats an official number of knocks? One? No, thats not it, nobody ever hears just ONE knock, I mean, what if the forces that be are sleeping? One knock would just wake them up and then they'd listen, hear nothing, and go back to sleep.
Two? No, that can't be right either, I mean, two knocks just sounds too short. Knock on wood right now does that sound right to you? So it can't be two knocks...
Now three!!! Yeah, three knocks would make it legit! I mean three is a divine number! It's sacred! How many people died on the cross? Three. How many departments can you contact when you dial 911? Three! Hospital, police, and fire. The three branches of government, the three musketeers, the three blind mice, you eat three meals in a day breakfast lunch and dinner, three of a kind, the three tenors, Jesus Mary and Joseph, the divine trilogy, the three amigos, three's not a crowd, because THREE'S Company, and how many stooges where there? there were three, three stooges!
..well there were five, but only three on at a time, I'm mean people could only watch three fucking stooges at time. Any more than three would be too much stooge for most people to handle. So yeah, it's got to be three knocks! I mean any less knocks than three is just to few, and any more than that just makes you sound desperate or look crazy. So three! Three knocks it is then.
Btw, I'm going to keep this to three for now, but believe me, there are plenty MORE on my dumb ass persons list!!! I mean start using some common sense out there people!!! Please, I mean:
I was reading the daily news letter today that CNN's Robin Meade sends out (as I always do cuzz she always says something that cracks me up) when I noticed this vvv
Morning Sunshine! may the meeting of the cool kids now come to order. places everyone. the look at the news now begins: -------------- your heart goes out to the people just now getting a glimpse of their flooded homes in the plains. the really gut-wrenching part: many haven't been allowed back, so they have no idea what awaits them in the sewage-filled gunk. we'll look at concerns about levees downstream. -------------- what an exciting finish! tiger woods says this u.s. open win means more than any of his other wins. you'll hear why. (even our non-golf fan writers were pumped to see the ending!) you'll see the final hole. -------------- nearly-naked man terrorizes neighborhood. cops say he was cracked out. (in more ways than one? hee hee) got zapped by taser three times, chomped by a dog, and walked through a glass door before they brought him down. dang! check it out. ----------------- i survived my first flying lesson yesterday. says my husband: "they didn't really let you fly on your first lesson, did they?" says i: "yes! i was at the controls and everything!". says he: "i don't like the way you drive, and I'm SURE not going to like the way you fly." now is that nice?
I first thought: Uncle Jorge? ..then I thought, well if your going to Terrorize a neigborhood you mine as well be naked.. Really though for most people just the fact of you being --naked-- is terrorizing enough, no need to go vandalizing shit!
Look, we ALL want to go out and vandalize shit with our penis's, I mean, who doesn't?! But man listen, if you get THAT shitfaced and easily get bored can't you just rent a video then stick your penis in the vacume cleaner like a normal person? I mean, you may like your penis touching things, but it doesn't mean anyone else does!
I say, Save it for your wife/ex-wife/local politician there buddy!!! It's her fault for marrying you which probably gave you that wild crazy idea that theres some people out there that want to actually see you naked in the first place, and well... Local politicians just deserve to have naked drunk/cracked up guys vandalizing them with their penis's...
He should consider himself lucky though, some people pay damn good money to have others tazor them while their naked...
I mean, do you expect someone to knock back or open the door? And how many knocks do you have to knock to make sure that what you just said isn't jinxed? I mean, whats an official number of knocks? One? No, thats not it, nobody ever hears just ONE knock, I mean, what if the forces that be are sleeping? One knock would just wake them up and then they'd listen, hear nothing, and go back to sleep. 
