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RCBulldog4JC
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Name: B-Cizzle
Gender: Female
Interests: Serving my sisters and the community of Kirksville as well as Des Moines, Frisbee, Working at the Nursing Home, Church, Hanging out with my friends
Expertise: Frisbee, Rollar Blading, Biking, Running
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
7/3/2005
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| needing to moanso i feel the need to moan:
my legs hurt
they throb even when i have them up. Maybe it's me just getting old. I'm serious. Riggamortis is setting in.
my family went to dinner without me...knew i was coming home...could wait an hour...they had chinese...I got to have a pressed chicken sandwich...yummmm
no one reads my xanga anymore
i love coming home...but everyone's lie here keeps going on while i am at school...when i come back i pick up where i left off and everyone i love is miles ahead of me....
Maybe i should have thought to stay in K-Hole...might have made things easier....
i miss might right and left arms aka: my girls (half of me is in Co MO and the other half is in Buffalo NY) ugh...growing up stinks
I promise i am a happy person, it's just much needed venting and it's easy to do it here.... i have a lot to be thankful for.....
The fact that i have friends and family at home who love me, and in May it will all be ok again
xanga really isnt THAT important
I still get to talk to my girls and that is a blessing
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| So all of the other days since I have been back at school have been well, pretty good. The last couple of days have been a little bit of a struggle. It's hard because the homesickness goes and comes ya know? The problem that I have had lately is that I'll be walking on campus I'll see someone and I think I recognize them, but who I am recognizing them to be, well there is no way they can be that person because those people no longer go to Truman. Yeah that depressed me a lot. But God is good. He's given me really good roommates and people I can talk to. The real positive thing is that ever those those people that I love are so far away, well I still talk to them almost as much as I would if they were sitting right next to me, ok now that may be an exaggeration on my part, but you get what I mean.
All in all, I'm good. Right now it's like a thundering Tsunami. Yeah crazy! I was at Walmart when it started and let me tell ya, you could barely see the cars in the parking lot for a while. goodness! Well I'm out, let's pray I dont like die as a result of the treacherous weather we are having in good ole Kirksville.
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| The Lining is SilverSo Ive been slacking and havent updated in a really long time. It's weird because I have made a lot of changes, I guess you could say it is so to make my life simpler, yet I think it just makes it more complex at times. I've decided to shut down my Facebook. I think that might end up making my life a little more complicated but we'll see.
I have seemed to make the transition back to Kirksville fairly well/easy however you want to look at it. I have been trying to keep fairly busy, because if I don't my mind wanders to the people who aren't here sitting across the room from me, or that I'm not home sitting across from certain people. That is what is making my life so complicated at the moment. I mean there are so many people that I love, it's too bad that half of them are spread across the country, but it is positive that the other half are back home, but as i witnessed this summer, those people aren't going to be around forever. We all will eventually be taken different places through ministry and may not all end up together, and we all have to be ok with that. It just doesnt change the fact that it hurts a little to lose them, but deep down (in every situation) I know/we know that we wont lose each other, not with email, mail, and cell phones. But the fact is, it isnt the same, but that is better than nothing.
So I just recently bought the new Relient K CD and they have this song called "The Lining is Silver". Yeah! It just pretty much explains that through everything there is a Silver Lining. God gives that to us. Always.
I found my new black shoes
While cleaning out the bones left in my closet
They were there with the bad excuse
Bon Voyage
And I found a back up plan
I'm grateful that I didn't have to use it
But it's made of real good friends
Bon Voyage
Isn't it nice to know
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
That we're golden
Well I found a list of flaw
That I saw in myself and other people
And I threw it away because
Bon Voyage
Isn't it nice to know
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
That we're golden
Yeah we're golden
Oh
When it all falls apart and you can't see
The forest for the cemeteries
Isn't it nice to know
Isn't it nice to know
Isn't it nice to know
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
That we're golden
Oh
Isn't it nice to know
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
That we're golden
Yeah we're golden oh
I found a love in me
I always somehow knew that it existed
It just needed to be set free
Bon Voyage
Isn't it nice to know [3x]
I love it because it just says what I needed to hear. It's awesome because I feel like every year I have a new soundtrack to my life and this year my soundtrack is going to start out with this song.
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| I guess I haven't written a real entry in a long time...sorry guys....I guess I have just been trying to adjust to changes. They have all been great ones, but the adjustment need is still there ya know? Let me see...Well I started working full time at the nursing home. Not bad right? Well it is when you are working 16hrs tuesday, 8hrs wed, and 16hrs Friday. takes a lot out of me...So much out of me that I had to go back to the hand surgeon.... and he looked at me with the same facial expressions that he had when he first told me that I was going to have to have surgery...awesome...but all he said was that I had aggrivated my elbow again and that he would try a steroid injection to see if we could get my arm up and running again. Needless to say he was not happy that I have been pulling doubles....I am still working one double a week but it is the one on friday so that means that i am not working 24hrs in a 36hr time period anymore so that is nice. I am watching the kids again to fill in where I lost the money coming from that other 8hr work period. I have been spending a lot of time participating in Epicenter and that has been a major blessing. I have had several breakdown sessions where I would just ball, because my arm hurt and I was just so confused as to what God is teaching me. They have been so patient and understanding, I am just so blessed. God is showing me a lot this summer. I am super pumped about coaching soccer this year. I am coaching 1st and 2nd graders and they are a hoot let me tell you. They keep me young. God is so good though. It is weird how you can feel so amazing and so at home, and then still have that feeling of missing people and knowing that there is a small void because you can't have everyone in your life all at once. I miss my girls. And that is the weird thing as well, when I was with them, there was the void of not having the people from home in my life...I guess that is a battle that can't be won eh?
i miss my girls something fierce. I can't wait to see them soon....
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| Deja Vu.......I'm scared crapless.....seriously
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