-eDiT-

yes I know ANOTHER edit but it turns out that about and hour or two after my aunt had her heart attack she died. . .I guess it happens I am just going to have to get over it. The funeral is on Saturday and I am not looking forward to it at all. Yes it does mean that I will get to see alot of my family i dont normally see but I wish it were for a different reason

-eNd EdIt-

-EdIt-

Well it turns out that my aunt has just had a heart attack and it is not looking good. . . for real could anything else go wrong today? Seriously if you have some bad news you should just tell me now so I can have time to get it through my head. . .I am so confused right now I just don't know what to do

-EnD eDiT-

I really do not understand why I have to have these feelings. I can't even explain what is going through my head right now. It really sucks because it is like I only feel like this everyonce in awhile and it makes me really think about everything. I finally realize how much I had. I wish I wouldn't have said those simple little words. I would have never went through what I have been through these past couple of months. It is weird how all of this is coming to me at once. I really miss you, do you know that? It is too late now there is no way we could go back to us. But I will always be here and I know you will always be there for me! You are an amazing person and I am sorry if I ever hurt you. But you did have your share of hurting me. I don't think these feelings I have will ever go away. I never really realized how much I cared for you until you were gone. I am in a state right now that I have never been in before. I feel lonely and I just wish I had you by my side to help me through this.I just wish that I would have thought about my choices before I made them. I really hope that in the future you will just keep me in mind and remember all the good times that we had. YOU are an amazing person and I hope that you can understand what I am saying.