Its not really been a good few days.  I went off my paxil about 3.5 weeks ago.   It seemed like it was going well, but I went back on it this morning.  It will probably make my coping a little better.

Friday and Saturday were dedicated to the parade.  It was fun, but exhausting.

Saturday afternoon Rob bought chicken and we celebrated mothers day with my mom.

Sunday...the less said the better.

I just rather melted down.  It had been coming.  I hadn't gotten mad about dad being in jail, or his failure to give my mom her support check, or his claims about Jdai's lies.  So it just all came over the stupid saga of Rob not making pancakes like I'd asked.

Yeah stupid huh?

I was over the top ridiculously and horribly angry.  And dealing with incredible back pain as well.

So as I was working my way down off of that.

My homeless and broke brother showed up just as we were sitting down for mothers day dinner to "beg."

I just wanted to shriek.

Instead I played nicey nicey.  ROFL.  And Rob got the anger afterwards.  The guy just didn't catch a break.

We would NOT give my brother money.  But we told him we had wood to split, and if he split it we'd put gas in his car.  He's always been an incredibly hard worker.  And very very quickly we had a huge pile of split firewood.

It was intresting as it also calmed him down a LOT.  He was a lot scarey when he first came.  Not in rage...just very much in the depressive side of his bi-polar.

The extreme physical exercise mellowed him greatly.  He mentioned that the reason he quit his job was he was bored.  He was following his boss around begging for work, and there just wasn't enough.  He's too ADD to be bored.   

He has work back where he came from, and will go back to dry-walling.  He said a couple weeks of that and he will have money for home, in the mean time he'll bunk with his girl friend.  The bizare thing is how he got to Clallam Bay.  He lives in Aberdeen.  He doesn't honestly remember driving here.  He spent four days couching at a neighbors house.  (He's good friends with her.)  Before he'd go to family and ask for help.  *sigh*

So he left.

And the anger I hadn't really gotten control over burst out fairly shortly there after.

It needed out.  I know it did.  But I should of just kept slamming the door rather then hurting Rob's feelings.  Slamming the door only hurts the door LOL. 

Poor guy.  I'm not sure he really understood what was going on. 

I did however feel better when it all came bubbling out. 

Yesterday was the first day of Missoula, and more back pain.  I am however figuring out what caused it, so there's light at the end of that tunnel.

Sam is not participating this year, but Zeria, Kaylin, Jamari and Rainee are.  Zeria got a main roll...she will be Dotty's dog.  Dotty from the Wiz of the west.  A wildly amusing spin on the Wizard of Oz. 

If you have a child intrested in Drama at all.  Go to the Misoula site, I can almost guarantee that sometime during the year it will hit a town near you.  They travel year round.  Its a FANTASTIC program.  And free.  You have to get through the audition process, and sometimes that is very hard.  But in our small town its not.  They were actually short some players, and had to combine a few roles.  But they do that some times so it works.

I'm doing better now.  For the most part.  And life moves on wether I want to or not.

I've spent quite a lot of time working on Sam's scrapbook as his birthday is the end of this month.  This page highly amused me, and I had to share.

My mom's mothers day gift.  Points up.  I combined two of my lighthouse pictures into one, and added the chorus of Casting Crowns most beautiful song. 

I'm printing it up in a 10x13 size.  I'm getting myself one too.  LOL 

I let the kids have some old spray paint this morning.  They had a blast with it in their garage attic room.   And then Rainee managed to get in her eyes. 

It figures.

Oh well, the trauma was over fairly quickly, and not nearly as bad as last summer when Samuel exploded his in his face.