| | Chess
It has been said that the game of Chess is a complete example of the universe. Not having the capability to know or understand the universe in its entirety; I have no ability to expound on that. What I do have is my own experience of how chess is very much a part of life for Steve.
Steve first came upon the game of chess in the sixth grade. He was fascinated by it when he saw it was a game of power, surprise, strategy, and subtlety. He learned the game quickly and became fairly proficient at playing. Well, at least he was good when he played his classmates. He didn’t fare so well when he played his Uncle Jim, but he would win enough to continue playing with determination and passion.
Later in his adult life, Steve occasionally played some of his friends. He found that when he played aggressively too soon in the game he would almost certainly lose. He learned to lay traps and to play a cunning, early game. He learned to look for any sign of weakness in his army; to see where he might become vulnerable and to compensate at once. He learned that he could be ruthlessly aggressive only when his opponent’s pieces were covered in multiple ways.
What Steve didn’t realize is that he was learning more deeply than he knew. He didn’t see that he applied what he learned to the arenas of his relationships, his vocation, his family. Steve trained himself, with encouragement from life, to live as if he were in a game of chess. This way of life has served Steve well but it has also been a great detriment to his growth.
Three decades have passed since Steve began to assimilate the game of chess into his life. He is beginning to see that those parts of him that “live” chess don’t serve him in the way he wants to go. They are suspicious, cunning, and merciless when they perceive that they are being attacked. They have some ability to divine the intentions of others just by “feeling” their surroundings and they aren’t often wrong. This isn’t who Steve wants to be. Now Steve is beginning to see that in order to become who he really wants to be; the chess player, with all of its roles, must start to become passive instead of active. He also sees that they aren’t interested in the least in giving up their position and power. Steve is beginning to see that, somehow, the chess players have become the ones who are in control and he is in a prison of sorts. It’s ironic isn’t it; that the game would become real and its purpose would be carried out against the one who embraced it?
So, what now? There is much to be seen, as it has become apparent that Steve doesn’t have the power to do anything to stop the chess players in his personality. If Steve can remember to observe them, time and time and time again, they will eventually become less of who he really is. Will he succeed in freeing himself? That is unknown. It is enough that he struggles to see the forces which drive him. To dispassionately observe them as if they were an interesting stranger..... yes, that is enough for now. |
| | Posted 9/28/2004 11:26 PM - 1 view - 22 comments
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