Well, I promised Arda Online updates to come, so here it be.

ARDA ONLINE: The Fellowchat of the Ring, Part 4

Riddermeat59: now Eowyn, what have I told you about hitting on scruffy greasy Dunedain??

DaughterofKings: aah, get off it…you worry too much

CaptainTook: hey wasn’t Arwen in here earlier?

YoungBluEyez: yeah but Aragorn and Sauron got too…uhhh….

BlizzardWizard1138: hormonal?

YoungBluEyez: erm, talkative

StillNotKing: hey, let me tell ya, “talk is cheap” takes on a whole new meaning with him

RingKing2000: hey i can’t help it if all i have is one eye!

D O O M 47: There is only one who can.

WhiteWizzywig: got that right

D O O M 47: But I’m too busy planning my eternity getaway to Valinor, so forget it.

RingKing2000: damnit!

DaughterofKings: now Ron, don’t get all teary-eyed on us

DaughterofKings: for one thing you’ll scald everybody, and for another you’ll just burn up all the tissues

RingKing2000: don’t remind me

BlizzardWizard1138: speaking of burning, somebody in here owes me for my new set of robes…

NOTTHEBEARD: how about your hair repair?

BlizzardWizard1138: yeah that too

WhiteWizzywig: RIPOFF!!!

DurinsBane2187: fuhgeddaboudit, wizardbreath…you owe me a new whip AND sword

WhiteWizzywig: he’s got ya there!

BlizzardWizard1138: ah, shut up…don’t think I can’t whup your desiccated butt with my incredibly brilliant backlighting

WhiteWizzywig: yeah well, don’t think you can copy my hairstyle and get away with it

StillNotKing: like I said, talk is cheap…

DurinsBane2187: mithril sure ain’t

NOTTHEBEARD: MITHRIL!!!! *drool*

DaughterofKings: ooh, shiny!

Riddermeat59: oh great, NOW you’ve got her started

GreenthumbGamgee: umm, mr. frodo? i think we’d best be movin’ along

YoungBluEyez: yeah…we’ve lingered here too long

YoungBluEyez: ok guys, got a ring to destroy, ttyl *waves*

DarthFaramir has entered the room.

RingKing2000: ahh, faramir, just in time!

GreenthumbGamgee: aw crud, there goes our quick getaway

DarthFaramir: hi guys

DarthFaramir: ooh, trying to sneak off, are we?

BuckleburyMerry: hey wait a sec…aren’t you a good guy??

DarthFaramir: tell that to Peter Jackson

Riddermeat59: LOL!!

WhiteWizzywig: well we can always use another minion, right Ron?

RingKing2000: aaaaaabsolutely

DarthFaramir: I AM NOT A MINION, DAMMIT!!!

RingKing2000: so how come you’re after my ring, then?

DarthFaramir: errr…

DaughterofKings: coz it’s SHINY!

RingKing2000: that’s MY shiny!!

DurinsBane2187: now children, this is LOTR, not the Silmarillion

BlizzardWizard1138: much less the Sil in 1,000 words…

DurinsBane2187: kinda makes me miss the good ol’ days, though

CaptainTook: hey are you really going to eat that girl who wrote the 1,000 word sil??

DurinsBane2187: NO

DurinsBane2187: FREAKING

DurinsBane2187: WAY.

BlizzardWizard1138: ehh…don’t you think a simple ‘no’ would have served?

DurinsBane2187: haven’t laughed that hard since Gothmog passed out on the floor of the Nethermost Hall from too much kerosene

GreenthumbGamgee: i think you’re being ignored, mr. gandalf

BlizzardWizard1138: so what else is new??

D O O M 47: All right, I give up…you all can deal with the fandom menace on your own.

DarthFaramir: oh, so that’s what we’re doing??

DaughterofKings: *grumbles* yeah while YOU get the shiny things…

D O O M 47: Oh, but before I go…

D O O M 47: DOOM!

StillNotKing: give Arwen my XOXO

D O O M 47 has left the room.

NOTTHEBEARD: MILLER TIME!!!!

BuckleburyMerry: yeesh, these elves…first to take a hike from Middle-earth, now the first to bounce from a chat

DarthFaramir: ok, now somebody want to fill me in?

YoungBluEyez:
well…have you ever had that unique and traumatic experience of being
stalked by some total geekwad who seems to know what you eat for
elevensies and what you wear to bed?

DarthFaramir: ………

WhiteWizzywig: I knew it

DarthFaramir: well now that you mention it…there is this lunatic redhead who keeps trying to drag me out to the opera in Osgiliath…

Riddermeat59: hmm, sounds like me and that wacko Amazon queen from the Edoras theatre troupe

DaughterofKings: c’mon, you love her and you know it

DurinsBane2187: guess that explains why Legolas went scuttling for cover…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Here’s a glue guy, a performance god
A makeshift shrine, newly lain sod
Hardly even trying, gives the nod

I sure hope I’m not the type to dwell
Hope I’m a fast healer, fast as hell
Heaven is a better place today
Because of this, but the world is just not the same

If and when you get into the end zone
Act like you’ve been there a thousand times before
Don’t blame
Don’t say people lose people all the time anymore

A toonie to the busker, and a husky “Keep it comin’” under my breath
But then said, “Though if you wouldn’t mind,
Less crying and more trying and more trying and less crying”

I’m not the type to dwell
I’m a fast healer, fast as hell
Heaven is a better place today
Because of this, but the world is just not the same

Oh, if and, if and when you get into the end zone
Act like you’ve been there a thousand times before
Don’t blame
And don’t say people lose people all the time anymore
People lose people all the time anymore

If and when you get into that end zone
Act like you’ve been there a thousand times before
Don’t change
But don’t say people lose people all the time anymore

It’s just not the same
Because of this, it’s not the same

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, SHADDUP!!!!!!!!”

That’s what I am so very sorely tempted to holler out my window at the
noisy bastards banging around below my window. Sadly, my fifth-floor
apartment does not provide 100% UV protection from the sound waves of
profane, yak-prone workers screwing around with something on the ground
floor. In fact, the acoustics of the building’s exterior only add to
the problem.

And now they’re listening to up-tempo rap music. God only
knows what they’re doing down there – I’m not even sure I want to know.

So here I am with a day off to relax before tomorrow’s rigourous
freight train, staring at my swollen powder-covered arms wishing all
this shit would just go away.
Last Wednesday, we were out working on freight equipment; and as I was
not expecting to have to cut up the underbrush, I went out there in a
short-sleeved shirt. I was promptly saddled with a chain saw and
instructed to remove encroaching vegetation from a sidetrack. Of course
the vegetation itself came up without a hitch, but I noticed some very
ugly brown spots on my right arm when I was done.

Oh, CRAP.

24 hours later, my forearms were bulging with poison sumac.

36 hours after that, I could barely move my right arm.

Please, God, don’t let this turn into a systemic reaction.

Miraculously (or maybe it was God answering that prayer ) I
was flexible enough to fire seven trips on Saturday; needless to say,
my sleeves were soaked at day’s end, although not from sweat.

So, off to the pharmacy with tired, grouchy old Chris. Thankfully, I
found an expensive but weightworthy concoction that penetrates the
skin, nice as you please, and neutralises the urushiol from poisonous
plants. Now all I have to contend with is the drainage – which is
driving me UP THE BLOODY WALL.

Good news is, the rash is going way back and scabbing over, and my arms
are starting to return to normal size. Additional good news is, the
engine steamed halfway decent on Saturday, in spite of dime-sized bits
of coal that typically produce more ash than heat. Best of all, Railfan
Weekend is nigh!! Two days of schmoozing with visitors (and actually
having time for it) and firing a nighttime train on Saturday…my first
Railfan Weekend and I can’t freaking wait.

Sooo….do yourselves a favour, friends, and don’t take to the bushes
without long sleeves and long pants. Even if you don’t think you’ll be
taking to the bushes, be prepared – else I shall tell you I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

Well, at least those noisy bastards down below are listening to Pearl
Jam now – I can actually open my bedroom window again. I wanna get back
to work.

Meanwhile, a bit of surveying fun yoinked from Jenny’s LJ……

BASICS…
(1) Your gender: Of the male persuasion.
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Of the straight persuasion.
(3) Single?: Oh-ho yes.
(4) Want to be?: You better believe it.
(5) Your birthday: June 22.
(6) Age you act: Usually the age that I am (26). Under the influence of co-workers, though, probably more like 18.
(7) Age you wish you were: Right where I am, thank you kindly.
(8) Your height: 6’2″.
(9) The color of your eyes: Brown rimmed with greyish blue.
(10) Happy with it?: It has its kicks…
(11) The color of your hair: Brrrrown.
(12) Happy with it?: It’s the hair colour God gave me…why not??
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Rightie.
(14) Your living arrangement?: All by me lonesome.
(27) Your family: Two parents, one sister, buttload of relatives on my mom’s side…all in New England and sorely missed.
(29) What’s your job: Train conductor/fireman.
(30) Piercings?: Fawk no.
(31) Tattoos?: Ditto.
(32) Obsessions?: Hmmm…trains, sci-fi, reading and writing…that about covers it.
(35) Do you speak another language?: A little bit of German and Greek.
(36) Have a favorite quote?: John Adams – “Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write.”
(37) Do you have a webpage?: Can’t say as I do.

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: Most of the time, though I think a lot about the past and the future.
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: A bit too much at times.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: Don’t we all?
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Oh yes, often.
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: All caps – that’s as neat as it’s gonna get.
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: Procrastinating and cracking my joints.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: Me? Get compliments? Heh, not likely…though one guy told me recently that I work my #*$@!@&$^ off.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: “Uphill Battle,” most like.
(46) What’s your biggest fear?: Failure.
(47) Can you sing: Love to. Can I? That’s another matter.
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Occasionally, when I’m not particularly self-satisfied.
(49) Are you a loner?: In the extreme.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Doubtful.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: Ho-ho, yeah.
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: The frequency with which I screw things up after doing them right the first time. Especially at work.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: Mmm…half-and-half.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: Lengthen my attention span so I wouldn’t forget so many important things.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Creativity – the other two are bone dry for me.
(59) How do you vent?: I don’t – I bottle, until something helps me forget.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Tremendously. If I wasn’t, I would have crawled into a hole and died years ago.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Man, I could write an epic novel about that…
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: Not particularly.
(63)
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned from life?: That if I weaken, and let anyone or anything drag me down, I won’t be long for this world at all.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: It can put up with several hours of hard physical labour without withering.
(67) Are you confident?: Sometimes.
(68) What is the fictional character you’re most like?: Don’t know. I’m me.
(69) Do people know how you feel?: Very, very rarely. If they do, they don’t give half a shit.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: Only all the time.


DO YOU…
(71) Smoke?: Hell, no.
(72) Do drugs?: Fuck, no.
(73) Read the newspaper?: On occasion.
(75) Go to church?: You bet.
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: Just enough to determine if I can have a two-sided conversation with them.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: Nope.
(78) Take walks in the rain?: If it’s not too cold…
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: Only in the line of work.
(80) Drive?: Heh heh – almost everything from a Ford Escort to a C30-7 diesel locomotive.
(81) Like to drive fast?: Not unless the speed limit is high.

HAVE YOU EVER…
(82) Liked your voice?: Eh, I kind of like it now.
(83) Hurt yourself?: Many times, albeit not deliberately.
(84)
Been out of the country?: Yep.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Not that I can recall.
(86) Burped?: Heh heh…
(87) Been unfaithful?: Nope.
(88) Been in love?: Yes, and I don’t intend ever to do so again.
(89) Done drugs?: Fuck no.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: Nevah.
(92) Had a surgery?: Couple of times.
(93) Ran away from home?: Nnnnno.
(94) Played strip poker: NNNNNO.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: Child of the 80′s…above-average I.Q….public school in greater Boston…you do the math.
(97) Been picked on?: Relentlessly.
(98) Been on stage?: Hoooo, yeah.
(99)
Been so drunk that you know you’re supposed to go out on a date with
someone, but you can’t remember with who or when and that you faint
when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention
your breath?: Even under those circumstances, I’ve never been that drunk, period.
(100) Slept outdoors?: Hmm-hmmmmm, yeah.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: Yessirree.
(103) If yes, what is your record?: ‘Bout 25 hours, give or take…man, I loved ROTC stay-awake-a-thons.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: Nope.
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yup.
(107) Slept all day?: Once or twice, usually if I couldn’t sleep a wink all night.
(108) Killed someone?: Nooooooooooooooo.
(109) Made out with a stranger?: Not on your life.
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: Nothing doing.
(111) Thought you’re going crazy?: Once I really did, when it felt like everyone and everything in the immediate world wanted to crush me into the concrete.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: Uh-unh.
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Fuhgeddaboudit.
(114) Been betrayed?: Sure feels like it at times.
(115) Had a dream that came true?: Never.
(116) Broken the law?: No, although there was a time when the UNH PD tried to convince me I had. HA!
(117) Met a famous person?: Walter Koenig, Billy Dee Williams, John Kerry…but oh, I would hitchhike clear across north Jersey to meet Anne Hathaway.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Not that I remember.
(146) Stolen anything?: Nope.
(147) Been on radio/TV?: A few times – I’m hoping to appear on a railroad video later this year.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: Nevah.
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: Close, but no cigar.
(150) Considered religious vacation?: Took a couple, if Christian camp counts.
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: WHAT sexual performance?
(152) Bungee jumped?: Nope.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: Never.

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: Army-issue boots, preferably steel-toed.
(155) Brand of clothing?: Carhartt.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: English Leather, though I think it’s still at my parents’ place…
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Jeans and a fluorescent green T-shirt, or denim shirt and overalls, depending on where I’m assigned.
(159) Wear hats?: Engineer hat, me friends – it’s uniform.
(161) Wear make-up?: Not unless you count coal dust and soot.
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Get outta here.
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: My “Still Not King” T-shirt.
(164) Are you trendy?: Fuhgeddaboudit.
(165)
Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: Not on your life.

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: In fact, I do. As big as the universe is, it seems like an awful waste of space if we’re the only ones here.
(167) Miracles?: Indeed – especially if this sumac rash clears up by the end of the week…
(168) Astrology?: No freaking way.
(169) Magic?: Nah.
(170) God?: You better believe it.
(171) Satan?: Well, why else would bad things happen to good people?
(172) Santa?: Eh heh, no…and I was harassed mercilessly about it in sixth grade.
(173) Ghosts?: Used to, but no, not really.
(174) Luck?: I should say so.
(175) Love at first sight?: It’s happened to me once or twice, but now I know better.
(176) Yin and Yang?: Hah???
(177) Witches?: Mmmmmmmm, no.
(178) Easter bunny?: Just the guy in the bunny suit who rides our Easter trains with the kids.
(179) Believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes indeed, if you set your mind at it.
(180) Believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: I dug for one once. Never found anything.
(181) Do you wish on stars?: Might have a couple of times, but by and large, no.

IT’S BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

ARDA ONLINE: The Fellowchat of the Ring, Part 3



CaptainTook: so tell us, fireboy, how do you do that so well??

DurinsBane2187: easy…I’ve had to share the mines with those airheads ever since you lot smashed the bridge and trapped them in there

BlizzardWizard1138: and how, pray tell, did you get out…?

DurinsBane2187: later

D O O M 47: Each race is bound to this fate, this one…

D O O M 47: …DOOM.

PrttyInBlu: I’m not…I’ll be way up on cloud nine with my harem

YoungBluEyez: speak for yourself

RingKing2000: this is but a taste of the terror that the fangirls will unleash…

PrttyInBlu: terror??? dude, I love this

NOTTHEBEARD: pfft, you would…nobody appreciates a good stock of facial hair these days

PrttyInBlu: buzz off, Shorty, I’m basking happily in all this attention

PrttyInBlu: be nice if they could spell my name right once in a blue moon, tho…

DurinsBane2187:
uh, unless you guys want to look like me in short order, I suggest you
knock it off…the rest of us have more important things on our minds

PrttyInBlu: but what could possibly be more important than me???

D O O M 47: People!! We’re trying to hold a council here, if you don’t mind!!

PrttyInBlu: you know, I think our next council should be devoted to hair and skin care

NOTTHEBEARD: well good luck with that, you might as well start your own then

BuckleburyMerry: erm, don’t give him any ideas

PrttyInBlu: hmmm…The Council of Legolas…I like it

WhiteWizzywig: yeah we figured

YoungBluEyez: bah, he likes *anything* that has his name on it

DurinsBane2187: including but not limited to that horde of phony wedding invitations I incinerated the other day…

PrttyInBlu: ooh? do tell!

StillNotKing: guys, let’s change the subject, he’s enjoying the attention a little too much

PrttyInBlu: what, you jealous?

D O O M 47: Right, fandom menace. Let’s get back to it.

DaughterofKings has entered the room.

StillNotKing: *hides*

DaughterofKings: hey guys

PrttyInBlu:

WhiteWizzywig: great, the other one

DurinsBane2187: heh…let no man say that *I’m* smoking

PrttyInBlu: GET HER OUT OF HERE!

NOTTHEBEARD: ahh, NOW who’s jealous?

DaughterofKings: hey Gimli, thanks for the heads up

NOTTHEBEARD: no prob

DaughterofKings: so you guys need me?

RingKing2000: umm no, that’s ok, we’re fine…you can go

DurinsBane2187: can it, Ron

DurinsBane2187: ok, Eowyn, here’s the deal…

RingKing2000: eowyn, nm, that was just the witch king talking, he’s still typing for me

DaughterofKings: rrrright

DurinsBane2187:
speaking of whom, I just need you to do your “I am no man” number on
the next legion of airheads who come after Gilderoy over here

PrttyInBlu: harrumph

DaughterofKings: what’s in it for me?

DurinsBane2187: ummm…special date perhaps? *wink wink nudge nudge*

StillNotKing: DON’T YOU DARE

GreenthumbGamgee: hehe, this looks like fun

DaughterofKings: ooh, special date??? I’m in!

DurinsBane2187: sweet!

StillNotKing: dammit, where’s Eomer when I need him?

NOTTHEBEARD: hmm, hang on a sec…

Riddermeat59 has entered the room.

Riddermeat59: somebody call??

PrttyInBlu: AACCCKKKK!!!

DurinsBane2187: good good good, many have come!!!

RingKing2000: ehh, don’t make too many friends there buddy, we’ve still got a war to wage

PrttyInBlu: TOO MANY PRETTY PEOPLE!!! I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!!

PrttyInBlu has left the room.

D O O M 47: Ahh, peace and quiet at last.

Riddermeat59: geez, all I did was put my helmet back on

DaughterofKings: yeah well, you ought to take some brasso to it, bro

D O O M 47: All right, now can we PLEASE get down to business??

Riddermeat59: well when do we get started?

DurinsBane2187: soon as the entmoot’s over

BuckleburyMerry: oh…great…let’s get comfortable

CaptainTook: anybody want some entwash??

StillNotKing: yeah, I could do with a buzz

DaughterofKings: *bats eyelashes*

StillNotKing: scratch that – I NEED a buzz

TO BE CONTINUED…

Edited to add: I am at last giving in to temptation and making “DurinsBane2187″ my own IM name. You can probably still catch me on Sebulba2179 occasionally, but I feel like LOTRing for a while.

Bourbon blues on the street, loose and complete
Under skies all smokey blue-green
I can’t forsake a Dixie-dead shake
So we danced the sidewalk clean

My memory is muddy, what’s this river that I’m in?
New Orleans is sinking, man, and I don’t wanna swim

Colonel Tom, what’s wrong? What’s goin’ on?
Can’t tie yourself up for a deal?
He said, “Hey, North, you’re south, shut your big mouth
You gotta do what you feel is real”

Ain’t got no picture postcards, ain’t got no souvenirs
My baby, she don’t know me when I’m thinkin’ ’bout those years

Pale as a light bulb, hangin’ on a wire
Suckin’ up to someone just to stoke the fire
Checkin’ out the highlights of the scenery
Saw a little cloud that looked a little like me

I had my hands in the river, my feet back up on the banks
I looked up to the Lord Above and said, “Hey, man, thanks”
Sometimes I feel so good I gotta scream
She said, “Gordie baby, I know exactly what you mean”
She said, she said
I swear to God, she said

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, no
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, yeah
My memory is muddy, what’s this river that I’m in?
New Orleans is sinking, man, and I don’t wanna swim
Swim!

God, what a mess.

Every time I’ve gone to check my E-mail this past week, I’ve been
greeted with pictures and horror stories of Katrina’s wrath. I don’t
know what hurt worse – thinking of the people who have been hit the
hardest by this catastrophe, or being under pain of awareness that
there was little else I could do besides pray. Thankfully there are
plenty of stores in my area that are engaged in relief efforts, as well
as my church; I planted the last of my pocket cash in the International
Orthodox Christian Charity collection as it was the best I could do at
the time.

Boy, am I glad payday is this week…my greatest regret right now is
that I have but one drop to toss in the bucket for those poor folk down
south. God, grant them a night’s rest and some peace of mind in the
days to come.

Weather is nice and cool and
breezy, although it looks a tad humid out there. And now, off I go to
cram accumulated tons of coal into the firebox for three days in a row
- again. Luckily our coal this week looks halfway decent.

*looks at calendar* Cheesh…it’s September already. Not that it wasn’t
expected – I mean, time does march on – but it’s hard to believe I’ve
been on the railroad for a year now. I’m aiming for many more to come.

God be with everyone who lies in the wake of Katrina’s ruin.

Well, Saturday was another perfect
day – no foam, rock-steady pressure, and enough time to take water and
schmooze with people on the platform a bit before each trip. Plus, it
was a great day for firing, as were the last couple; high was 83 and it
was breezy.

However, once again, it’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m already wide awake.

At least I’ve got my first official student today. (Of course, that probably has something to do with it…)

Now I lay me down not to sleep
I just get tangled in the sheets
I swim in sweat three inches deep
I just lay back and claim defeat

Chapter read and lesson learned
I turned the lights off while she burned
So while she’s three hundred degrees
I throw the sheets off and I freeze

My lids down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is that I won’t sleep, I count down, I look around

Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War
Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War

My hands are locked up tight in fists
My mind is racing, filled with lists
Of things to do and things I’ve done
Another sleepless night’s begun

My lids down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is that I won’t sleep, I count down, I look around

Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War
Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War

There’s so much joy in life, so many pleasures all around
The pleasures of insomnia are ones I’ve never found
With all life has to offer, there’s so much to be enjoyed
The pleasures of insomnia are ones I can’t avoid

My lids down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is that I won’t sleep, I count down, I look around

Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War
Who needs sleep? Well, you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep? Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep? Be happy with what you’re gettin’
There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War

Well, here it is, 5:30 in the morning and I’ve been up
for an hour already. The Fun Fact is, I’m due to fire seven trips today
and then do a dinner train in the evening. Who’s stopping for a really
big cup of coffee on his way to work?

Yeah, with circumstances like that, I ain’t going to work without a few drops of blood in my caffeine stream.

Today’s going to be the big test – those seven trips I’m firing? The
big man himself is the engineer today. I’ve found a firing pattern that
works well with Bill and with a crusty old engineer who’s pretty hard
to please – so today I get to see if it works with Big Boss Man.
Somehow I’m doubtful, though. (Note to self: Keep an eye on him, he’ll
be testing you by running the engine differently each trip and using
steam faster than you can make it.)

Oh man, but if that engine foams again today…heads will roll, my friends, heads will roll.

Anyone who’s unfamiliar with steam power – boiler foaming happens when
there’s a whole lot of solid crud collected at the top of the water
level. One can eliminate this problem by blowing most of the steam out
of the boiler and lowering the water level first thing in the morning,
but there is the occasion when, for whatever reason, it doesn’t get
blown down far enough. You open up your throttle and voila! The engine
starts pretending that it’s Old Faithful. Foaming boiler = sucking all
the water out = running the injector constantly all the way up the hill
= Chris shoveling his ass off non-stop trying to keep the pressure up.
Which is impossible anyway when all he’s got to shovel is worthless
dirt wishing it was coal, which 1) doesn’t generate any heat
whatsoever, 2) forms industrial-sized clinkers along the sides of the
firebox, and 3) is largely composed of ash that obstructs any air from
getting through the fire. So not only do you lose time because you’re
losing pressure, you lose even more time when you have to run back to
the ash pit three and four times during the day. That sound like fun to
you? I thought so.

But after having two near-perfect days earlier this week, all I can say
is que sera, sera. Sun’s coming up – might as well grab a bite to eat.
I’ve a sinking feeling that this’ll be an even longer day than
necessary.

And so my love for GE locomotives has naught but mushroomed in the last three days. (Yeah, right, Ronald…)

The other day I ran the 531 up the full length of the line pending its
92-day inspection; thankfully that butt-ugly engine isn’t leaking oil
as badly as it was a few months ago, and it’s responding in Run 2
again, but still. When you go over a grade crossing in the 531, in all
its GE-designed, Union Pacific-painted ugliness, you can’t help but
wonder if the motorists are thinking, “What the hell is he doing
running THAT piece of shit??” I wouldn’t put it in quite those terms,
though, if only we’d just knuckle down and repaint the damn
thing…but, feh. Small wonder that we keep it at the south end of the
line, out of the tourists’ sight.

Got to the north end of the line, collected the 7087 and a hopper car,
and got set up for a stone train on Wednesday. Sat around twiddling my
thumbs for nightmarish amounts of time in between truckloads as always,
despite a passionate plea in my IM away message for people to “CALL THE
FREAKING CELL!!!” En route to the interchange, my boss and I couldn’t
help noticing that the engine was taking an awful lot of power for
eight cars…

…and today we found the answer.

We did a little switcheroo in the morning and then headed northward ho
to top off 7087′s radiator (another symbol of my sarcastic fondness for
GE engines). We were only a few miles up the line – hence I was
sweatslicking the independent brake even more than the throttle – when
my boss, always on the tack, suddenly hollered at me to STOP STOP STOP!

No wonder we were pulling so hard yesterday – we’d been passing over a busted rail.

God only knows what happened, but one of those loaded hoppers somehow
spread the gauge, derailed, and then rerailed itself as we passed over
a handy switch (shearing off a half-dozen spikes, skewering the rail
joint, and breaking the head of the rail in the process). That switch
is a nightmare to begin with, but as of yesterday, it has effectively
cut off the south end of the railroad from the rest of it, until we
muster a repair crew at the crack of dawn tomorrow.

I haven’t had that much fun since I rode lead on the ballast car for about six miles.

I’ve been having nightmares about firing for the past week.

No, seriously, I have. Guess that’s just a tad indicative of how much
I’ve been doing it for over a month now…oy. (Not to mention muscle
soreness that lasts for about two days.)

However, firing is not always as horrid as all that. In fact, earlier
this week, Bill and I conducted a little experiment – left town with a
slightly higher water level than usual. Now mind you, I had a
thoroughly miserable time working with Bill in the shop and on the
engine for a number of months. But he’s lightened up a great deal since
I got qualified, and when we got to our turnaround point the other day,
with 165 PSI in the boiler (which is damn good) and the water sight
glasses half full (which is ideal), he took a look in the firebox to
see what the coal bed looked like. Then he straightened up, shook my
hand and said, “That’s how that’s done, my friend! THAT is how that’s done!!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. And we had no trouble for the rest of the
day. I fired for Bill again today, and even though a couple of trips
were a little bit hairy pressure-wise by the time we crested the hill,
we barely broke a sweat. (That, of course, may be due to the fact that
the fire was evaporating all my sweat before it even escaped my pores.
)

Well, at last I have found a firing pattern that works.
Tomorrow I’m firing for a good buddy of mine who works for the Reading
& Northern, so the litmus test cometh – see if the same pattern
will work under a different engineer. And who knows? Maybe the
nightmares will subside.

I tell ya, though, what a blast it is to get interrogated by zealous railfans when you’re trying to get some work done…