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Rayne0612
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Name: Ryan
Country: United States
State: Alabama
Metro: Dothan
Birthday: 6/12/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Fashion, art, music, singing, drawing, movies, shopping, dressing up, making cute clothes, wearing the cute clothes that I make, cooking, eating the food I cook, Halo, Halo2, redvsblue, hanging out with friends, and lots of other stuff too!
Expertise: Fashion advice
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Rayne1422
Member Since:
9/27/2005
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| So many blessingsPraise the Lord! Things seem to be moving in a positive direction for me. I don't want to jinx anything but I'm so excited. So.....knock on wood in advance! lol. About two weeks ago I was going around giving out my resume'. My mom told me about an opening at the bank we go to so I decided to check it out. I go to give them my resume' and the lady there is ready to interview me on the spot! However, I was not so prepared but I went through with it anyways. Well, just as expected, because I was unprepared and nervous (it was, after all, my first real job interview) I tanked. But, it was not a complete failure because she calls me back for a second chance. Thank you Lord. I spend that weekend at Wild Adventures and then when I come home I study as best I can to prepare myself for the interview. I go to that interview and I do soooooo much better. I was so pleased with myself that I didn't even really care if I got the job I was just happy I had a successful interview. Now, I know your thinking, "If you didn't get the job, then how was it successful?" It was a success to me because I did everything that I knew to do right. So now it's been a week since that interview and I was called back for a second interview! Please keep your fingers crossed and pray for me. It may mean the end of "Do you want whipped cream on that?" . So while I know that I can't get my hopes up, I can't help but be excited about the chance. Thanks for all the love and support. Until latar...
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| Blah.......Another day, another dollar (or so the saying goes) . And that's kinda just what I hafta keep telling myself. I am so ready for a new job. I'm ready to start moving forward in my life. Because right now, I just feel...blah. The other day my sister posted on her Myspace blog the question of "when exactly does ones 'life' start?" I answered her with the opinion that it starts when you want it to start. In the sense of, one cannot simply sit and wait for the next "life" checkpoint (i.e. graduation, marriage) and expect things to just happen. You have to decide that, if that's where you want your life to start, to start living it and making things happen. I have already decided that I am definately living my life. It just isn't much of one right now. That's not to say I'm going to let it stay that way either. I am content. And I am so thankful to have a job at all and that I have a loving family that saves me from a lot of extra bills. I am just ready for more.
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| Nothing to do but cry...Hey everybody! I decided to freshen up my page. So, here goes a new entry.
About the title: I suppose for this one I could say, "You learn something new everyday." I am slowly, but surely, learning more about myself everyday. I know that other people experience this from time to time. So, I know I'm not the first, nor am I alone in this. However, it was a totally new experience for me. Last night I had my first (what I think was an) emotional meltdown. I guess my fatigue combined with all of my emotions and feelings for the past week hit the proverbial "lip of the cup" last night and I had nothing to do but sit there and cry. And not just a few tears down the cheek boo-hoo, I mean Alice in Wonderland, flood the room bawling.
I'm not writing about this to throw a pity party, I just wanted to tell somebody about it. I have never experienced something like that before. I've decided that maybe if I express my feelings (writing them down, e.g.) they won't get to that point again. It was a really strange thing to feel so tired, in every aspect, that I had no energy to do anything but cry.
I go to work for about 25-39 hours a week, and then, unless my sister has been prompted by promise of pay or reward to do some of them, come home to about the equivalent in hours of chores at home. Here recently, mom has taken up a new hobby that is really good for her (body and mind). So, I'm glad that she has it and I would not wish it away. But, it keeps her away from the house practically all day. It leaves me to, sort of, play second mom; make sure the kids are fed and are doing their part, make sure the house stays generally tidy, do dishes, keep the laundry from becoming Mt. Vesuvius, take the dog out, etc. Also, sometimes at work, I feel so under-appreciated. Yesterday, I saw that we were out of cinnamon rolls, so, I bake some more. When my boss gets there and sees my (beautiful, tasty-looking by the way) cinnamon rolls he says, "You know you're supposed to let those rise first." Not "thanks for making some more, we needed them" or "those look good", instead it was in so many other words YOU GOT IT WRONG.
So, last night, I think feeling like I was the only one capable, or even willing to do things that needed to be done, was the straw that broke the camel's back. I actually wanted to run away! I've never felt like things were so bad that the only solution would be to escape. But, I was able to get a good night's sleep last night and that made it all go away. And as I am writing this, I am realizing that I should have prayed. I didn't think about it last night because I couldn't really think straight at all. However, I know that He would definately be there. He always has been, always is, and always will be.
Sorry this has been such a rant, but like I said earlier, I needed to get it out. Thanks for all the love and support. Until latar...
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| Hey everybody! wassup? Not much has changed here. I am still contently working at the coffee shop, although I think I'm going to look for something in addition. As Sway said in Gone in 60 Seconds, "I have discovered you have to work twice as hard...when it's honest." Things have changed however, as far as my guy friend goes. We are no longer seeing each other. I realized that I don't want to be in a relationship. I think I was looking for missing fulfillment in my life and I thought it was in the love department. It was not. So I am working on what exactly it is. I have decided that I am going to look to God for everything. To take one day at a time but not necessarily in a "I have no control" or "I'm not going to do anything for myself" attitude. But a "I'll meet God half-way" attitude. I do my part to work towards the things I want or need and pray to and trust God to take care of the rest. Thank you so much to those of you who offer your support and prayers. Much love and until latar...
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I will be starting in two weeks and I am so excited!
