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Sunday, June 08, 2008

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Windows and Mirrors

If eyes, the windows to the soul, betray
Your thoughts, though contradict the words you say,
Then neither thoughts nor words shall be believed
Since one cannot discern when one’s deceived.

My eyes, like mirrors, reproduce without
Reflections of a secret hope and doubt.
And even though I try to turn and hide
A glimpse is caught of what I hold inside.

Revealed in yours, an opportunity
To see the best that others see in me.
But visions blur, and dreams, like tears, distort
‘Til made to face a choice of great import.

Unknown right now is what will come to pass,
Yet now I know this heart is not of glass.
Transparent and fragile though I may be
My God makes sure nothing shall shatter me.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Fall Break's over...back to reality...

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted. Sorry about that...life has been...oh wait, I haven't had a life lately....riiiight... forgot about that. Since I last posted, I had 7 exams in the span of 2 weeks....needless to say, I was totally exhausted by the end of it. Stress, lack of sleep, over doing it on caffeine, studying til my eyes wanted to scream....all of that pretty much made up my daily existence. Thanks to everyone who has called to check on how I'm doing or kept me sane via IM convos....you know who you are, and I couldn't have made it through that insanity without you. Thanks
Fortunately, even though the deans do a HORRIBLE job of scheduling our exams right on top of each other, they made the smart choice to give us a fall break right after that those two weeks of med school hazing. Luckily, fall break happened to coincide with Hanover's Homecoming...so I headed straight there from class on Friday. I've missed everyone sooo much, you have no idea. Seeing everyone, being back on campus, it was EXACTLY what I needed. I wish I could have stayed longer...but for some silly reason, my family wanted to see me. So, after a thrilling Colts victory--which about gave me a heart attack in the process--I headed to Franklin. It's weird...Franklin is my hometown, but not really my home anymore. Bloomington is where I live, and I love my place, don't get me wrong....but it hasn't really become home yet, either. In a lot of ways, Hanover, and the people still there, are home to me.
I found out something really sad while I was home. Alexa Shank, a 10 year old little girl who I used to babysit back in high school, died after a 4 year long battle with leukemia. I was her and her older brother's babysitter when Lexi was diagnosed...and saw her fight it courageously through all the ups and downs. It just so happened that her funeral calling hours were Sunday--the one day I was in Franklin--so I went. Both of her parents gave me a big hug, and her dad about brought me to tears when he said "Lexi always had soo much fun with you..." Conner, her 12 year old brother, was there too....and it took everything I could not to lose it when I talked to him. Conner would spend the night in Lexi's hospital bed reading her stories til she fell asleep, and when her cancer came back, it was Conner who donated bone marrow to help her out. Seeing her family deal with such a huge loss brought a lot of things into perspective for me. First, LIFE IS SHORT and the worst thing we can do is take it for granted. Whether we live to be 104 or 10, we need to make the most out of every single day and live it to the fullest. Part of that includes telling people how much you care about them and what they mean to you, because you never know if they really know unless you tell them, and a future opportunity is not guaranteed. Second, I realized how truly insignificant my problems are to those that others have to deal with, and how truly blessed I am to have the opportunity to be where I'm at, doing what I'm doing. As much as I get stressed out, and wish things were different or more convenient, I know I'm truly fortunate, and shouldn't forget it.
Anyways, now I'm back in Btown, and of course have to jump right back in to the studying. Things are going to lighten up a bit...only one exam per week now til the end of term...woohoo!! I got promises from several people from HC that they would come to visit me, and I plan to hold them to it. :) Hope this finds everyone well....keep in touch, and make the most of today.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

So far...

So, I almost have three weeks of med school under my belt. In some ways it feels like it's flown by, and in some ways I feel like I've already been doing this for years. The classes...well...they're interesting, but it's like taking 7 Dr. Bruyninckx classes simultaneously (for those of you from Hanover who will appreciate that comparison). The information is not that hard, but there's sooooo much information--it's overwhelming and sometimes I feel like I'm already drowning in it. And it doesn't help when one of our professors gets up in the front of class and says something to the effect of "I know you guys all think things are tough now, but its going to get worse, and worse, and around the end of October things are going to bottom out and most of you are going to want to drop out." Yeah, really encouraging. So my first exam is tomorrow, and to be honest, I'm scared. I thought I had a good handle on things, then took a practice quiz and didn't do nearly as well as I thought I would. Might not mean anything, since it was a quiz from 3 years ago and they covered some different stuff, but still, it threw me for a loop. I'm sure things will get better once I know what the exams are going to be like, but it's just intimidating right now.
My classmates are really cool, and I really like living with Kelly. It's funny, people keep asking us how long we've been friends, how we met, etc. We got together through an email list and only met each other about 4 days before classes started. We are together about 24-7, but it's gone really well so far. It's helpful having a built-in study partner and someone to remind me of all the little things I forget, like when I need to go to the bank. Cheesy, I know, but great to have here. With all that said, I miss people like CRAZY though. It saddens me that I don't have anyone here yet who knows me half as well as my friends/sisters from school do. I desperately want someone here who knows I'm on the verge of tears simply by how I talk on AIM....who knows exactly what to say to get me laughing/smiling when I'm in the worst mood....who is willing to drop everything to listen to me and be there for me. I'm sure I'll get that eventually here, but I don't have it yet, and I miss it, and every single person who falls into those categories.
Well, enough of a study break...back to those bacteria. Say a little prayer that this goes well, b/c I just might go crazy if it doesn't. Miss you all terribly!
~Heather

Monday, August 07, 2006

2 Weeks And Counting...

So this summer is almost over...and it won't be a moment too soon. This has really been the worst summer that I can recall. Granted, I LOVE my new place...and I had a good trip to Orlando at the beginning, but overall, it's been less than stellar. I've been really lonely about 85% of the summer....plans that I've had with friends have fallen through time and time again. In fact, it seems to be the overall theme for the summer. On the other hand, for every time I've felt let down throughout the summer, there's been someone there to help me back up again. Thank God for Steven, Liz, and my sisters...especially Amanda, Shelley and Lynnie...without you guys I would have gone completely insane.

On the upside, last Saturday night was a BLAST. I was invited out to join some of my old co-workers from the doctor's office for dinner/clubbing. To make it even better, a drug rep was paying for everything...and I do mean everything. We ate at Mo's Steakhouse in a private room for the 10 of us. The valet parking was taken care of...we had drinks allll night long, I had Filet Mignon for dinner...appetizers, sides, desserts...everything. It was crazy delicious. Then, as we leave there...the owner of Mo's calls his friend who owns the club Six downtown....and tells them we're coming over. As soon as we get to the door, we're given VIP bracelets and shown where the VIP room is. More drinks, dancing, and general fun is had. I was out from 7-3:45 in the morning, had an AMAZING time, and didn't have to pay a dime. I definitely needed that kind of pick me up too, so thanks Trish! :)

So my roommate will be here Wednesday for a couple of nights to unpack/organize stuff. Then she's going home for the weekend to see her parents for a few days, before moving in for good. I can't wait for her to get here...this condo is wayyy too quiet, and I really want to have another person here.

Two weeks to go....let the countdown begin.