*just sighs* In the last 8 months I've grown up so much. I know that sounds all cliche and shit, but yeah. I just don't know where to start with all the words.. I had to sit back down and start writing a little again, get it all out, look at it.

Since January I have

* Went on a weekend road trip to Seattle with my older sister because I've been to Seattle 5 times and she hadn't so it pissed her off. We got real trashed in a cocktail bar (kinda) called the VooDoo Lounge, where a dog emerged out from under the bench tables and proceeded to lick my sisters coat. Oh.. and our lamp shade had the word 'Pussy' scrawled on it in sharpie. It rawked.

* Went to Las Vegas again with Husband. He won us a trip there for 4 days on the radio. This tended to piss off friends and family as we had went to Vegas the year before and much fun was had. I learned that the food court in the Luxor is the only place you will EVER find cheap bottled water in Vegas. If you go, watch the fountains at the Bellagio, they'll make you fall in love with the world again.

* I taught myself to knit in about May because it really really pissed me off it was one of the only crafts I couldn't do. I had taken a class on basic stuff the year before but sucked hard and didn't finish my sad little dishcloth. I've been knitting steadily since and found that there's actualling some punk, goth, and geek knitting patterns out there. I was in pure dork extasy when I learned I can eventually hone my skills to knit a scarf with five Final Fantasy characters. I will be boring you all with my kick ass knitting soon.

* I turned 30 and went back home to Kamloops for a big birthday party I threw myself. It made me cry that so many of my friends showed up and that they dropped everything to come. I felt good, I felt better than I have in a long time. I felt like me. I don't give a shit I'm 30, I'm having a good time with it.
For my birthday, my amazing husband got me something I would have never dreamed of asking for, something I've always wanted since I was about 8 years old.
My husband convinced all my friends, and our family and his family and even my boss, to go in on a trip to New Orleans for my birthday present. *just nods*

* August 21 we left for New Orleans and had the most amazing 5 day trip ever. We went on a swamp tour, we went on a city tour, and we went on a Steamboat river tour. I felt like I was home. I touched everything, and looked at everything, and just breathed it all in. It was so peaceful, and beautiful and old. The people there are amazing, or were.
Three days after we got home hurricane Katrine hit New Orleans. When my husband told me about it, I was sitting here listening to ACDC and knitting, I was still basking in my 4 days left of holidays and just being home.
I cried. I really really really cried.
I have a living room full of souvenirs for people from a place that just got wiped off the fucking map. I have t-shirts, and fake voodoo dolls, and mardi gras beads. I have hundreds of pictures I took of beautiful things that are now gone.
I have a big hole in me now.

* *exhales* I'm currently looking for a job. I've been working as a Nanny/Housekeeper for the same family for going on six years now. I feel lost. This is part of my family, this part of what I do, this part of me Angie. Those are my kids I helped raise. They don't want me to end my position but they want me to just stay part time. I keep trying to tell them I can't afford to work part time, and they are helping me look for a job during the day. (they want me from 2-6 now that all the kids are in school all day) I've been secretly looking for fulltime and part time work, I've just been looking for work PERIOD. It makes me panic and gives me nightmares that I'll be out of a job soon and don't know where I'll be working. I'm too fucking old not to take it seriously. I keep telling myself, 'I have a good resume, I have excellent references, somebody WILL hire me'.
No neurosis there.

* So far this year I've seen Annie Lennox and Sting, The Drew Carey All Stars (Drew now has longer bleached blond hair) The Comedy Allstars (Who's Line is it Anyways cast minus Drew Carey), The Doors (yes I know Jim's dead, Ian Ashtbury from the Cult took his place), Pearl Jam, Def Leppard, The Tea Party, Supersucker, Vanilla Fudge (yes they're still alive), Mark Knofler, Jamie Green, and we're going to see Greenday and Santana soon.

So I'm a little weirdly stressed right now, I'm obsessive about small knitting projects and I'm trying not to get that desperate hope on for a job. I can't watch the news right now because it makes me slide-down-in-my-chair-and-cry depressed.
So yeah, thats me right now.
I'm going to blog a proper good-bye to New Orleans soon too.. put up some pics of alligaters eating marshmellows ect, then all of you can share a little bit of it with me too. (in the good way)