Yellow and pretty

Powerful and efficient

You suck like no one.

p.s.  it's a haiku, damnit

I'm a victim of a toothbrushnapping.  I haven't received any ransom demands, but I'm sure it'll come soon enough.  Quite odd.  As I went to brush my teeth tonight, I could not find my toothbrush.  I went to all the places where a missing toothbrush might be hanging out: behind the counter, the shower (I brush my teeth while I shower in the morning), the cabinets, the bar down the road, etc.  Alas, my faithful toothbrush was nowhere to be found.  So my search extended to the other rooms of the house.  Stupid?  Yes.  Kinda fun? Yes.  How often does one get to walk around their home looking for a missing toothbrush?  I ambled around leisurely, because really, I didn't expect it to run away when I did find it.  All this to no avail.  My missing toothbrush was not in the house.  I wailed in frustration.  Where oh where could my toothbrush be?  Not only was I the victim of a horrific theft, I would now suffer the horrors of improper oral hygiene.  But I would not be daunted.  No, for giving in and not brushing would only be conceding victory to the foul perpetrators of this crime.  I cooly and calmly reached for my

Braun Oral-B 3D Excel Power Toothbrush
Pulsating Electric Power Toothbrush Model D17535XT.

Yes, that's right.  I have two toothbrushes.  The one that was taken from me is my regular manual Mentadent one.  A fine toothbrush in it's own right, but it can't really compare to the Oral-B.  I should use the Oral-B all the time, but it needs to be plugged in to be recharged and I don't have an outlet in the bathroom.  Most of the time I forget to bring it with me when I get up in the morning.  Now I suppose this is a blessing in disguise.  If I had lost the Oral-B, I would've been crushed.  Truly a delight to use, and waterproof to boot.  Oh yes, I brush my teeth in the shower at night as well.  And yes, I'm showering then too.  It would just be weird if I stood in the tub and brushed my teeth without showering.  As I stood under the hot spray, brushing my teeth, I pondered who could've taken my toothbrush.  I came to only one conclusion.  It's the Underpants Gnomes.  Obviously, their Underpant stealing business wasn't doing too well.  http://www.fool.com/news/foth/2001/foth011108.htm   So in order to bolster their business, they've branched out into toothbrushnapping.  I can understand the need for a wider variety of merchandise, but this is really quite ridiculous.  Used toothbrushes?  So, Underpants Gnomes, if you're reading this, I'm onto you.  No longer will I be prey to your vicious game of toothbrush thievery.  I will be strong and not give in!  You can take all the toothbrushes in my house, but you won't crush my spirit.  In the meanwhile, I'll be keeping an extra close eye on my Oral-B.

This year I haven’t really been feeling the Christmas spirit.  The decorative lights, the television specials, the heart-warming story of Saddam being found in a cellar, etc. haven’t moved me.  I don’t know, I’m usually pretty happy this time of the year.  The whole joy-to-the-world thing, I suppose.  By nature I would say I’m a fairly enthusiastic fellow.  Full of idealism and optimism; which can get me in trouble sometimes.  On the whole though, I haven’t regretted many decisions so I’m happy with the way I view the world.  Lately however, I’ve begun to be more cynical.  This is an odd feeling.  I’ve always had a positive outlook.  And now I’ve started thinking that the world isn’t such a wonderful place.  I guess it’s just the constant exposure to all the harsh realities of the world. 

Before, I was able to block it out or convince myself that there are decent people in the world.  That I wasn’t alone in trying to see the best in a person.  But it got harder and harder to do so. So I’ve been feeling kinda down these past few weeks. 

And now my faith in humanity is restored.  Earlier today, I lost my phone.  Not a big deal, but annoying enough to be an inconvenience.  As I was calling my provider to suspend service to the phone, I get an incoming call.  Now, my first response is to ignore the call, seeing as how hard it is to actually get through to a Sprint operator, but I answered anyways.  It turned out to be a woman who found my phone and wanted to return it to me.  I drove out to meet her, but not without taking my brother at my parent’s request.  They wanted to make sure it wasn’t some kind of setup where I would be robbed and generally violated in every sense of the word.  So I meet the woman, and she’s a kindly middle-aged mother who just saw my phone lying on the corner of the street and decided to try to find the owner.  She wouldn’t even take the money that I offered, simply saying that it was the right thing to do. 

This one act of simple thoughtfulness has made it seem like Christmas.  As I walked down my block, I noticed the cheerful lights, the festive decorations.  And it finally felt like Christmas to me. 

To anybody who wastes their time and actually reads this drivel, have a happy and safe holiday season.

The quiet times mean the most.