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Friday, July 18, 2008

  • MCAT, round 2

    I took the MCAT again today. I don't think I did very well, but it doesn't really bother me at this point.

    I sat in the cold but bright room this morning with a bunch of other silent and nervous people. I was nervous for a few minutes, but then began to meditate, which turned into a prayer. "God, if this is what you want me to do with my life, help me to do well. If it's not your will, lead me where you want me. Either way, please take away this anxiety."

    Perhaps I'm not meant to be a doctor, though I'm not sure why I want it so badly if it isn't what's planned for me. We'll see, I guess.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

  • False Accusation

    In kindergarten, it was a special privilege to be able to sit in the hallway with a friend and put together a puzzle while the rest of the class did something else. We were fairly unsupervised at that point, which was a taste of freedom.

    Once, I got to do this special activity with Ashley, a friend of mine. We sat down and began to put the puzzle together. I picked up a piece and tried it in a spot, but realized it wasn't right and muttered, "Oh, shoot." So very 6-year-old of me. Ashley, of course, heard "Oh, shit," and immediately ran inside to tell our teacher Mrs. Hartsock, despite the fact I told her it wasn't what I had said.

    The teacher grabbed me by the arm and told me sternly that we didn't say that language. I began to cry as I tried to explain to her that I didn't say anything bad, and she didn't believe me. I was put in the corner to be disciplined for the first time in my life (at school). I think she eventually believed me because she let me out of the corner before my time was up. I was a very sensitive child, so the whole episode shook me.

    This was one of my most memorable and traumatic events from childhood.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

  • My First and Only Frenemy

    I had a friend in junior high and high school that was extremely competitive when it came to male attention.

    One time, she asked my boyfriend of the time if he wanted to watch a movie with her (in his basement). She also told him that she wanted it to be just them, and not to invite me. He asked me if it would be ok, because it apparently sounded fishy enough to him to feel the need to ask me. I was, of course, uncomfortable.

    She accused me of being mistrusting and controlling.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

  • Singing isn't my thing

    I was adorable when I was really young. That's what I hear, anyway. My family attended a Methodist church with a church choir in which I insisted upon participating. I was probably four or five, and the director gave me a solo, not because I was good at singing, but because it would be cute, I guess.

    We had just learned the song, and we all got up in front of the congregation and started singing. The microphone was passed to me, but my mind went blank. I said in my four-year-old voice, right into the microphone, "I forgot." Everyone laughed and my parents told me I was adorable, but I never sang in a church choir again.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

  • Road Rage

    I was seventeen, had just started driving essentially, and was going to visit my boyfriend at the time in Speedway. I borrowed my father's Cadillac because I was quickly becoming tired of the car that my art club and I had painted in horrendously bright colors with cartoon characters and designs. I think it embarrassed his parents to have it parked out front anyway...

    I was on a main street that was used fairly often, and someone behind me was tailgating an extreme amount. My father had instructed me to slow down when someone was tailgating and they would usually back off. I slowed, and as the person behind me got closer and closer to the bumper of my car, I became angry. I slowed more, became more angry. I was finally down to about 20 mph on a road that is a speed limit of 40 mph.

    The person behind me bumped the back of the car and sped around me by crossing a double yellow line on a bridge. I agree I was being passive aggressive, but to this day I think the person behind me was just a jerk that knew he was following too close. There was no damage to the car, but I was enraged. I haven't had an episode of road rage since.

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