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| Did not write up my diary for nearly two months now.. Cos.... Just too busy, no time to write up anything..... However, I do got lots to put down. However, just not sure whether I should put it down now, cos..... my mum is asking me to go to bed now!! Ha Ha!!
Aug... 2004 We went to Rome. It is a lovely place. I do like it. The weather is nice. Although.. people there are not too too nice, but... it is a lovely place. The guy in there are very handsome. Very good looking. But.... some of the people there are crazy... mad....People did tell us to be careful when we went to Rome, cos there are a lot of thief. Of course we did try our very bet to be careful. However, my wallet was nearly be stolen. One thing I can't believed is that the theif who want to steal my thing is a lady who have two child. I think they are too poor and so they work as a thief. But... they are really not any professional, they just try to use trick to stole your wallet. and of course, they go for the easy one. And I just put my wallet in my front pocket, she just put her hand into my pocket hiding with a paper box. In the beginning, I dont know what is happening, cos the daughter keep shaking my hand and I just thought she is crazy, then I felt that someone put her hand in my pocket. But luckily, she did not mange to stole my wallet. Anyway, they are crazy...
We went to a lovely restaurant near our hotel. The food there is really good. I like the steak. To be honest, I do not like Tirimisu before, cos I think it don't look nice and I dont even want to try. But this dessert is Italian dessert, so I did try and I do fall in love with it. It is really nice.
We also went to a lot of tourist place. Walking is really tiring. We also went to the fountain... where 衝上雲霄 Flora make her wish. That is really a lovely place. I did make a wish... but I did not do it properly. I just do it as fun. I actually regret that I did not make my wish properly, ha ha!
The last day in Rome, MUm just bought so many things that we cant even imaginie. But.. as long as she is happy, then everything is fine la. ha ha!!
Sept... A busy month.... Cos this is the last week that I am in Intellexis. Lots of things to follow up. Need to review the courses, etc. However, I did not feel that I do not want to leave. Cos... I just don't feel that I am happy working in this company. Ah... Dont know, this is just not a company that I want (except high salary) ha ha!!
I went to Tack and work with my brother. People in Tack are really nice. But I think it is quite boring, cos... just doing some stupid things. But at least there are things that we can do. My brother have been there for 1 month and he said that it was not like that, it is exciting but when I came, taks are just boring, so.....
I did not go to VA, cos.... nothing much to learn ... Edmund Said. However, I did went back to Intellexis again.. cos too many problems. I went there with Mal. To talk about deals. Jerry was very about the way that Intellexis UK deal with things, and he would like all the source code and content server. However... sometimes, I think that he is really stubborn. He don't understand the technical things and just want everything. Sometimes, this is really impossible. Ah.... Of course... I am with Intellexis China.. I know the reason that they want everything. but I also understand why Intellexis UK do not give us what we want..... Communciation problem, Trust between Each other, money problem, working style are all the problems that affecting the relationship. However, what can I do??? Dad always say this and that, but..... what can I do?? Sometimes, I really feel so stress, I don't know how to improve this relationship.
Mum, Rachel, Susi and Anut Mary and her daughter and son in law went to Miland in the begining of October. I did not go becasue just cant be border. Actually, I don't really like travelling, cos it is just too tired. They went shopping of course. They bought a lot of things. 6 people went to Miland and they have bought 12 LV bag in Total. It is really crazy. They told me that they are so scared when they are in the Airport, becasue everybody are looking at them and they are so worried that people are going to stole their things, ha ha!! Actually, the bags are not any cheaper and the staff's attitude from LV are really bad. However, after TAX, the bag are really cheap. So.. they bought a lot. Mum bought me a bag too, it is quite nice, but not the best, but..... it is ok la!! Rachel also bought me a EA cuffins. It is nice. Actually, maybe it is good that I did not go, cos.. I think I wont buy anything. Cos.... my money will only spend on gadgets, electrical and computer, but for sure not brand. I dont think it is worth it, but of course, having it is good la, ha ha!!
23 October 2004 02:32 a.m. UK | | |
| Did not write up my diary for quite a few weeks, just being very very lazy!!! I did want to write, but, when I start, I just want to stop, so…..
My brother is starting to live with me in London, therefore, we always watch telly at home and I went out more. Um.. and of course I spend more, ah…..
I got lots to write, but I just forget everything now!!!
Office work made me feel a bit blue. People are so slow here, so…… I always ask them to do things, but….. ah… people are just S***. They always not do what I want them to do and so I am always stuck, so…… anyway, what can I say.
I went back to Manchester the other week. Just sot things out. I got my new mobile. The Sony K700. It is very nice, but until now, I still not sure how to transfer the MP3 into the phone, so stupid. We also got a mobile for my mum as her Christmas present. However, I still need to change the phone to become the Chinese pack, so…..
I also wanted to pack up my things when I am back to Manchester. However, I am too busy in making Suzanne’s birthday present. I made a Handbook for her which have all the instruction to format, install everything into her computer. Of course with some funny pictures with Pepper too. It takes me ages to do all these things! Suzanne always ask me things about computer but I am not so patience to talk to her about it. So I decided to make this handbook for her. She said I never tell her what website is good, where to download music, just blame me on everything, so.. .now she cant blame, ha ha!! Although it take ages but I do like to do this kind of things, so…. Anyway, I think it is good cos I can just print one more for my sister too, so…..
Mum went back with me to London. OF course Romeo came with us too. He is really a good boy. He is happier this time. So… I feel better. But I think he really like me to comb his hair. This time, I did it and I think he is happier. So…. I think he really know what I care about him, when I am not, so…
We went back to Manchester on Friday with Uncle Phi and Aunt Eugenia. Uncle Phi just came from Australia and is planning to work in UK for 2 -3 years. He is Eugenia’s BF. He is so funny and nice! Ha Ha!! He is bad luck when he came to UK as he got 3 luggage but he lost 2 in the airport. So the airport needs to look for his luggage. And things happen, just so annoying, ha ha!!
On the 14th it is Lian and Pepper’s birthday. Lian came to Manchester from Nottingham. We celebrate with them and also celebrate for Suzanne too as it is her birthday on the 19th, so…..
We went out for lunch in the afternoon. Then we went shopping. Mum want to buy things from Boots. But she made some mistake with the discount things, so we got to refund and buy the things again!! It just take ages to go through all these procedure, ah…. Anyway, at last she did buy something, so…
At night we went to have dinner, and we sing song and have cake. We played till very late when we got back home. We played so many games, so funny. Uncle Phi lose nearly all the game, ha ha!! When we lost we need to do some ugly things which our dog do. Ha Ha! Anyway, it is really funny and happy. Actually I like playing games!! J I am still young!!!
Ed drove us back to London. We pass through Nottingham and drop down Lian.
We went out for dinner with Uncle and Auntie on Wednesday. However, we did not manage to have Japanese food as the queue is too long. So we just have noodles and rice in China Town and we watch movie Bourne Supermacy. It is ok, but it will be better if I watch the Bourne Identity again, so I will get a clearer idea what is going on, ha ha!!
On Thursday we went to shopping cos it is late night shopping, however, it is not really late night shopping, so….. we just shop around a bit and have McD and go back home.
Friday night, supposingly we will have dinner with Auntie, but…. We did not, but I know my brother want to have Japanese food, so we went to a restaurant which near us. It is quite good but the price, but… I did not really treat my brother yet, so…. Then we got some take away and bring it to Uncle and Auntie’s flat. They are having dinner with their flatmates. After their dinner we went to a pub and have some drink. On that day, I found out the difference between a pub, a bar and a club. Ha ha! I really don’t know that there is so many knowledge to differentiate this. Anyway, I am not very good in alcohol. But they bought me a baileys’ cos…. But I did not got drunk. However, I do think that I need to practice to drink alcohol. The pub close quite early at 11:00 and so we left the pub. And Uncle Phi feel a bit hungry so we went o KFC and have some food. Meanwhile, Auntie’s flatmate came into KFC and chat for a while and we walk to their flat and we got the car and drove back home.
We sleep very late that night. We watch Mr. Diana. Of course it is nice and I love this tv series. Then Edmund watch the scary movie the Grudge. I watched it before and so I go to bed.
Saturday we went to go and buy something. And spend a lot again!! Ha Ha!! Ed recommend be some alcohol. I did drink a bottle at night, and I think that I am a little bit drunk. I just felt so sleepy and tired so I slept on the sofa at 1:00 until 4:00 and then got up for a shower and sleep again. Ha ha!! So stupid!!
Sunday, Auntie rang and we prepare ourselves and went to have lunch in China Town. After the lunch we went to have dessert and then they shop in China Town. Then I went to Lilywhites to buy a few shorts cos we are going to Rome next week, so…. Then I went ot HMV and Virgins and bought a CD for my brother, cos he want to have the “country song” for each country. Ha Ha! Actually it is the national anthems, but I don’t know what it is called in the beginning so I call it country song, ha ha!!
Sometimes I really seem to be very stupid, especially these days when I am with my brother. I think he got a lot of knowledge. Although, sometimes his language is a bit….. but sometimes it is good. He always teach me new things. Although he don’t know the name national anthems too, but.. because the want it and so I got the chance to know it, right? That’s why he always say sometime going out to see things is actually good!!
We went back home and just watch telly again and I just finished up all my dubbing for the VCD. And prepare things to go to Rome.
Today, I go to work again with my brother. Paul is not in and Edmund think that it is very boring. We don’t really want to come in this afternoon, but need to depends and see whether Paul will be in in the afternoon.
I have downloaded Andy’s new album, I think it is very good! I love quite a few songs!! Andy is really the best!! Ha Ha!!
我怕沒有這運氣 一生一世有我便會有你 因此太著意去逗你歡喜 好給你回味 我也願意信命理 看註定誰先走 是誰未到期 無恙的你 病發的我 唯有累你 無疑太愛你 怎捨得失去力量照顧你 隨時行開了 連再會亦無期 然而我信愛 叫你我來日往生都緊記 無論世外人間天與地 在某一天又再一起 如我若有事你會很寂寞 你獨個行樂怎可快樂 你沒我的運氣能先走 畢竟 能早登天國 但我若有事你要孤獨做人就重頭再學 學習到天邊海角 一人拼摶 你這主角 沒有配角 就算是有事你也可讓別人再做你主角 但是你怎希罕那 一場寄託 是我多口令你發惡
23-08-2004 | | |
| Did not write up my diary for ages la! Very naughty, actually, it’s because my dad came to UK, so… whenever he is with us, we all will become to be very busy!! Ha! Ha! Anyway, of course I am too lazy too!! Can’t be border to write up the dairy!! But I have to, so….
Um…within these two weeks, there are a lot of things happen!!
My dad came to the UK in the beginning of July la. That’s why I was very tired. I did go to work, but went back home for lunch. After work, we just talk for a while. Eugenia came to have dinner with us. Very happy la!! At night, we have our first family meeting la!! Every time he came, we have family meetings. (Very serious one). My sister went back to Manchester the next day as she got to go back and do some revision.
I am happy cos my dad likes Romeo more this time cos Romeo is playing with my dad la!! So good boy!! Dad also thinks that he is a good boy la!! Ha Ha! Good Good!
We have meetings with Intellexis in the morning!! And have discussed about a few things la. After the meeting we went back to home to have lunch. In the afternoon, we went to Tack for a meeting with Eric. He invited us to have lunch with them. So we have our lunch again! However, it is really hard to go to TACK. I don’t even know where is it as I never been there. However, my dad always says this saying that and blaming this and that. I just feel so annoyed. Edmund should know the way as he went their twice, so…… Ah……. Actually my mood on that day is very bad!!! I was quite angry!!! We meet Eric friends / distributor from South Africa. I learn something about South Africa. However, I don’t think I will never go!! Tack has now sold to a Greek company. It is good as we have a bigger change to sell the new products.
At night, we went back home, mum make dessert for us. I am a little bit angry because…. I always ask her to make the dessert, but she never did (while Edmund was in Greece), and when Edmund is here then she made it, so… I am a little bit angry / jealous la!! But actually, I think it is because my dad made my temper very bad la!! However, I believed that my mum is not happy that I was like that la!!
Thursday, I went to office in the morning. Mum did not get up in the morning prepare me breakfast. I believed that she must be very tired as my dad really snore too heavy la. In the afternoon, we went to Video Arts to have a meeting with Martin. We talked about the preview list, the authorisation letter, etc.
We then went to have a meeting with the Greek guy who bought TACK. Dad really want to work with them as their company got a lot of good branded training product. And their company is large, so…..I think we will be working together too. They are now doing the training for the Olympic in Athena this year and in Austria in 2000. They are looking forward to get the training of the Olympics in China in 2008. However, they will need to partner. Dad really wants to work with them and get the training as there will be a lot of business and make our business grow quickly!!
Dad and Edmund went to China Town after the meeting. I then went back home to pick mum up. While I was going back home, Rachel rang me and said mum rang her and she was very unhappy and cried!! Ah… she was unhappy as I was unhappy and made bad faces in front of her. And of course, because of my aunt la…. Ah….. I felt so guilty la!! But of course I got to apologise la!! Actually I will never do this before; I don’t like to say sorry, but now…. I must!!
I rang mum and asked her to get change and we will go out for dinner. But she said she want to stay at home. Of course I think she is unhappy, so…. I went back home and she have already get change and of course I pretend there is nothing and say sorry to her la!! And that’s good that we are ok now la!! Then I get change and then we went to China Town. We have dinner together and we rang Eugenia, but… no one answer, so…..
Friday, no meeting. So I went back to office. I write up my minutes and need to prepare all the documents and e-mail to let my dad read it. Just so busy in doing dad’s things. I went back home early at about 3:00 as we are going back to Manchester today. We want to leave earlier as we are afraid that the traffic is bad. We stop in a few services.
Rachel told dad she want to get a new computer la!! The same one that I got in HK, the SONY one. Of course I think dad should get her one la, cos that is really a good computer. No too complex and it saves a lot of place. So…. On Saturday morning, dad did not get up early so Rachel did not mange to take him to PC World. IN the afternoon, Rachel went to Liverpool to work, then dad said that we shall go to PC World and have a look at the PC. Dad did not really want to get it in the beginning as it is quite expensive and he have got Rachel an iPod when he came to UK, so…. However, the Sony PC is the last one and will be delivery to another shop tomorrow, so it’s seem that Dad must get it for Rachel. So we get it for her. When we went back home, Rachel is back already, so we did not tell her immediately as we want to give her surprise. So I tried to ask her to come downstairs and Edmund went to setup the computer. However, when Rachel went back to her study room, she still did not see the PC. So stupid! I made her to look at that direction for so many times but she still cannot see it!! Ha Ha! Really stupid! Anyway, at last Edmund made her to look at it, ha ha! She said she was disappointed when she first come up as there is nothing, but… now…… then she went to thanks dad and she cried la, ha ha! At night , we have dinner in Stockport. Dad went there every year when he came to UK, ha ha!! On
Sunday afternoon, we have lunch with Mr and Mrs. Ainscough. Jeremy is so cute. He hurt his little hand. He broke it while he is in school! Mrs. Ainscough talked to dad about the school. And dad give her some ideas of how to run the school as dad is in the supervisor of a school in HK for many years too, so…
We went to JJB to buy some sport wear. Dad want to change his image! Ha Ha! We also buy a few sports wear. When he got home, he got a fashion show, ha ha! At night we ate at home, eating steak. Very nice!! And we watch telly la!!
Monday morning, dad went to the doctor and have an annual check. After the annual check we went to Cheshire and have a meeting with Key Skills! Their products are good and we are looking forward to work with them. After dinner, we went to Trafford Centre to buy clothes again as dad like one of our clothes. However, we did not manage to get him one so I just need to sacrifice mine and gave it to him. Ah… I like that jumper, I went to buy that specially and I never wear it yet. But now…. While we are still shopping, Rachel rang and said that the doctor want to speak to dad. Dad is actually quite scare cos it is about 9:00 already and the doctor rang him. There must be bad things in his annual check this morning, so…. He then rang back to the doctor and the doctor said that he is now going to our home and wait for him. So we rush back, dad is wondering whether the doctor is lying and want to cheat money. But Suzanne said that the NHS is very good that this will happen. An emergency doctor will come into patient house to visit. When we get back, the doctor said that his potassium is too high and this is affecting his heart and kidney. And his heart will stop in any moment. So he will need to go to the hospital for a night and fix the problem. Of course dad don’t want to go, he is scared. And it is Edmund’s graduation tomorrow, so… he is afraid that he will need to miss it. But we asked him to go and so…. We went there with him. He don’t’ really want to stay, but of course he got to. Edmund and I need to get up early the next day to attend a seminar in Key skills, so we asked Rachel to come and exchange with us. Anyway, just hope that dad will be a good boy and will control his sugar level. Don’t try to eat so many things anymore! Sometimes, he is stubborn because he thinks that he cannot really control life! One of his friend die not long ago. His friend is always healthy. He did his annual check, however, one day after going out with his friends, he died suddenly because there is blood stuck in his brain, so…he is very grey about things like that. But what can I say, health is himself. No one can help him if he is not going to help himself!!
We went to attend the seminar, it was good, but too bored! I fell asleep, ha ha! Edmund is good that as he did not!!! But I am really tired these days. So…. Edmund said that I was snoring in the car when I am heading back home. He think that I must be very tired as I don’t use to snore!! Ha Ha!
We went back home and get ready to attend Edmund’s graduation. Dad is out from the hospital and cleaning up himself!! We went to the Lowry on time and Edmund and I went to get the gown. I did not have my ceremony but I did rent the gown to take photos for my Master degree. Edmund got a third in his degree, Rachel said that is not fair as Dad and mum did not even shout at him because if this is Rachel or me, they will just shout at us already, but Edmund…. Ah… I don’t know what to say, they always said that Edmund can graduate, they feel very glad already, so….
At night, we went to have dinner with Mr and Mrs. Corfield! They are very nice!! We order Lobster which they love most! Ha Ha! We then went back home and watch movie again!!
We did not get up early today cos just too tired! Dad ring back to Shanghai and Jerry is no very happy about the Authorisation letter that Intellexis going to issue! Ah… I think my dad is a failure sometimes as he always think that he is the boss and he do not need to let his staff to understand about things!! However, misunderstanding things really will lead to bad things, unhappy things happen!! Ah…. I really don’t know him! However, I did told him a lot of time already that he got to let ALL his high level manager understand what is going on, but… he just keep on say he will he will… ah…
In the afternoon, we went to the PC World again as Rachel’s old printer is not compatible with her new printer so I just help her to choose a new printer again! And of course the best one la! I am hoping to get that one when I am back to Hong Kong too.
At night we have a family meeting again cos Dad will not see Rachel anymore for this trip so we have a good chat again! And of course saying something similar again!! So….Dad also ask me to apply for inspector in the police force. He think that I should really go and try. I think he really want me to get into it!! Actually I want to too, cos I always like to find out who is the bad guy, I like this challenge. However, I think that I won’t be able to get through the physical part!! However, dad said that he want me to see whether I am able to get into that position, if yes don’t necessary need to get into the police force, but it will mean that I worth that amount of salary and he will pay me that. Ha ha! Actually, if I really get in, I think I will stay in the force, I won’t work for him. I always said to my sister, she will work for dad after 2 -3 years, but I will quite dad’s job after 2 -3 years. Once the company is stable, I think I will really quit, cos….. I don’t know, but I think I will.
Actually, now my brother is getting into the company. I know the situation will be different. My dad will let him do more that me, (important thing) actually I think I do care! Yes, I am ok for now, but I think not for long! My sister is feeling very bad already even she is not in the company. She always told me Edmund just put 30% of his effort, he will got dad saying good, however, if we are the one who have 90% effort, we will still get nothing!! Ah… I think I really will mind one day. The other day, I got a bad dream about this kind of fighting! I don’t want to. I really don’t want to fight about things. I have changed so many for my family already, I don’t want myself to become the old Rita again! I don’t want to have any unhappiness between all of us. At least, I should not be the one to create this. But…. Edmund always said that he won’t mind, of course he will say this because he do not need to worry, he got everything already! Dad have already decide to give him the AN1 car registration, ah…I think he will get Edmund whatever car he want too. Ah…. I don’t know, so sad!! But…. I really don’t want to think about this kind of things!! I think I am still not too good that as I am still jealous!! Ah..
Thursday afternoon we have lunch with Rachel in China Town. Dad was on the phone with someone while he went to the toilet. And mum heard something…. I should not really say what she heard, but.. nothing good. She told me and of course I know how she feel, ah…… I don’t know what to say too. After lunch, we drove back to London. We arrived to the flat at night and go to bed early as it is really sleepy.
Friday morning, dad went to meet George Seago. The governor of St. Elphin’s. they talked for a while and he want dad to join the School governor. Um.. I think it is a good idea. I always think that can involve in this school is always good!! Ha Ha! I love St. Elphin’s School!
In the evening, Dad and Mum went to US over the weekend to visit Aunt and grandma. Cos since grandma die, dad did not really go there.
Monday morning, they arrive back to London and I went to office and Dad came to have meeting with Paul again. Then in the evening, we went to have dinner in China Town. We also asked Eugenia to join us.
At night dad have a short meeting with me and Edmund again. Surprisingly, mum said that she will join the meeting too. Mum said something… of course I understand what she mean. Ah… sometime, I really don’t know what to do, I know what mum scare of….. ah………..I really hope that I won’t change, so….. Next day morning, dad is leaving. Edmund take him to the airport and I just went to work. In the afternoon, mum drove back to Manchester with Edmund as Rachel is going to have her exam soon and so mum need to take care of her.
I went to work as usual and just need to finish all the work that dad left me. In the evening, I went to have dinner with Eugenia. I bring her the iPod that Rachel bought her. She is very happy la! Ha ha!! She always wants one!! We then went to watch a movie as I have got a buy one got one ticket voucher. We went to watch the Grudge. A Japanese film. Eugenia said that it is very scary and so we went to watch. It is actually quite an old film in Hong Kong. But it is quite scary, the girl next to me is so crazy. She is so fat and she whenever she move, I believed the whole row moved too!! Just so annoying!!
Thursday night, Eugenia came again to cook 水餃 for me and I have finished import MP3 in her iPod, so… Actually, every time when I eat水餃, I remember the funny story of Annie and Julie, ha ha!!
The other day, Martin MSN me. She asked, do I know Marisa. Acutally I know who she is, but I am not really close to her. She told me that Marisa got an accident. Ah.. it is really sad. Then Elaine talk to me about this too, but Marisa have already left!! I can do nothing, I feel sad that she was so young. However, I really wish her all the best. Of cours eher family too. Elaine, if her furneral will be hold in Hong Kong, please do help me to get her some flowers and give some money to her family! I will pay you back, thanks!!
This weekend, I just carry on finished dubbing all the TV series. I finished watched the series 隔世追兇. It is really good!! I think mum do note need to record TVB series from now on, I can always download them online now, so….. it is good!! Ha ha!!
Anyway, I wrote a lot already, and take a lot of time. So… I better stop!
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
You are the sun,
You are my light,
And you're the last thing on my mind,
Before I go to sleep at night,
You're always round,
When I'm in need,
When trouble's on my mind,
You put my soul at ease,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
We've had our fun,
We've made mistakes,
But who'd have guessed along that road,
We'd learn to give and take,
It's so much more than I could have dreamed,
Cause you make loving you, so easy for me,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
And girl I pray you leave me, never,
Cause this is the world, where lovers often go astray,
But if we love each other, we won't go that way,
So put your doubts aside,
Do what it takes to make it right,
I love you, forever, no-one can tear us apart,
I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
And I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (you took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever | | |
|
Did not write up my diary for quite a while already! Being lazy, really lazy! I have no mood to write things up!! I am still a bit stressful, however, I am much better now!! Everything is over!! We have done everything we need!! I don’t hate myself anymore, cos I have tried my best to do things I can actually do! Maybe my mum is right… we should be nice to people when they are alive, when they left, no matter what you do, it is useless!! I did not cry anymore cos… I did not really think about this matter! I don’t want to think, I don’t want to face death!!
Mum, Rachel and my lovely Romeo came to London with me last week!! We have a wonderful time!! I went back home for lunch every day. Eugenia came to our home to have dinner sometime!! We watched a lot of telly!! I like Sonija and Charmaine in that police movie, both of them are really quite beautiful!! But only in this film la!!
I found out that if I need to take Romeo back home it is very very expensive!! Um.. my mum think that it is expensive too, but se did not ask me not to bring him back! But I wont tell my dad the price cos I think he will kill me!!! I can buy 2 more Romeo in Hong Kong la!! But… Romeo is my life!!! He is my son, so….
I download some music online again, the boxup site got the Ekin old album! I don’t really like Ekin, but… I love one of his album with the story on it. The story did not mean a lot to me, but I really like the soundtrack, it is just so nice!! I remember, I like this when I am in secondary school, F.2? F.3? Can’t remember!! When I pack my room over the weekend, I watch the Song Drama and listen this CD. I began to love this then!! Ha Ha!! I have lost that CD, I think. But now I can download it on the internet, I am so lucky!!
I bought a lot blank CD the other day cos I need to record all the movies and drama series I download on the internet and convert into VCD. So when my mum got back to HK, she do not really need to help us to record all the series la!! But it is very time consuming for me, but… I do like to do this kind of thing!! At least I can learn to use new software to do this kind of thing!!
Mum, Rachel and Romeo left on Monday. They are now back to Manchester! Of course, I am lonely again, but…. I will be back to Manchester this weekend, so.. I am looking forward to it!! 2 and a half month to go to stay in London. Actually, I am confuse! Do I really want to go back to HK? Am I really like going back? I keep on asking myself this question!! In the beginning, I was 100% sure I want to be back, but now… I know I am scared, I am scared bad things will happen again, although I don’t think there can be any worse thing happen anymore, but…I just confuse. I am also scared that I am capable to do things in China!! I think they are too looking forward for me to go back!! I think they have give me a bit of hidden pressure!!! Ah.. but I got no way to go!! My path was chosen, I must go back to HK!!
My brother is still on his holiday!! He rang the other day cos his result is out!! Ah… he did not got good result!! Only third! Of course, mum is not that happy, especially Rachel, but….. what can we say!! I think Ed will be poorly and my sister will say so many things to him!! And my sister even blame my mum that she did not shout at my brother, but… he is on his holiday, so… let him have fun la and this is already past tense, he can do nothing to change the result!! Maybe it is fate that he got to work for my dad??? Ah.. I don’t know!!
My dad rang on Monday night… talk talk talk!! He always asked me to ask my brother whether he will find a job in UK or work for him? Ah.. how can I know? Sometimes, my mum and dad is really funny, they also not talk to him but ask me to talk to him. Ah…. He don’t even listen to you, why you think he will listen to me?? But Ed is quite a good boy already, so… but all of us really spoil him too much ,so…
I talked to Victall the other day too! About ?????. Um.. don’t be sad la!! She must be very happy now!! You should be thankful for that!! You should be happy that your loved one is happy!! Maybe you can really ask her out someday!! But actually, when I looked at the photos! I don’t know what to say too, but they really look like professional artist instead of normal people! Ha Ha! I think the guy really look a bit like Andy Lau too! However, cannot see his face properly la!!!! Ah….
You also told me about Juli and Angel!! Actually, I really think that they should not hurt their friendship just because of a guy they both like!! I really think that we are lucky, we are good friend and we never love the one we love!! I know, you will really let me love the one you love except S?????? ??, right? Thank you so much la!! I know, you allow this to happen it is just because I don’t easily like anyone, so you just want to give me more chance, ha ha!! But don’t worry! I will never love the one you love, and I am not an idot, I will avoid it!! Ha Ha!! If one day you love the one that I love, I will let you have it too, because if my love one really choose you, this must mean that you are better, she / he like you more la!! So why should I force my love one to love me and to stay with me. But of course I know this will hardly happen, cos you know I only got HER. She is in my heart forever!! : ) But one day, if I fall in love again, I think everyone will be happy for me, right?? Ha Ha!!
Yesterday, I have got a meeting with my colleague! We really talk about the demo, cos their client wants it, so they take it more serious now! At Last!! So I am really doing things for this now!! Ah…. Sometime, I don’t know why I am here!! I am here to learn things, but what did I learn? I really don’t know!!!!!
Today, I talked to Elaine, ah…. She argue with her BF again la! What can I say?? I felt tired for you! Always arguing!! Maybe he is really not your Mr. right!! Loving someone is really a very very tire thing. I am lucky cos I got no one to love! Loving myself is a tough job already!! I think you should love yourself more!! However, you are really growing up now. At least you knew you should change and learn sometime!! I just want you to be happy!! As what I said in MSN and SMS, Ok?? Ha Ha!! Cheer up!!
I also talked to Annie on MSN today! She finally hand in her thesis today!! Congratulation! Writing thesis got a lot of pressure! I hate writing thesis!! Take some rest and relax!! Enjoy these last period of time being a student!! Ha Ha!! Anyway, I hope that you will finish your placement soon and wish you all the best la!!
Eugenia came last night cos today there is a underground strike, so…. She stay in my flat and so she can get to work easier! We watched telly for the whole night. She was so concentrate when she is watching telly! I did not have any chance to ask her things, So, Victall don’t blame me!! However, I will try to ask her next time again!! There are still chances!! So….. wait!!
Today, I was asked to do translation work and to edit some demo file! Of course I am not good in translating especially with all those finance terms, so I send it to China and hope that they will get back to me ASAP la!! Ha Ha!
If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then you would realise how special you are to me!
When I grow old, many things will change.. my hair, my eyes, my skin, my lips, but nothing can change the way I keep.........you in my heart.
30-06-2004 5:25 p.m.
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| 16 June 2004 – After work, then I went back home. Um.. watch telly again!! Finally I finished a telly series!! Then I rang my mum and we chat for a while. Did not talk much cos she is not feeling very well, so… then I go shower and again read my book and then go to bed!!
17 June 2004 – um…. Nothing had been done really today, ah…. Don’t know what to day about my job!! Ah… anyway, Dave helped me to install the software today, but I don’t think he really want to cos he keep on cannot install it properly. Then when he give up and then I did it again, then it is successful now, so…. I really don’t understand. Is he the one or the higher level don’t really want me to learn things?? Ah………………
Paul told me that he will arrange a dinner for my dad and me with the board after the company meeting and need me to decide for the food that we want. I think it is ….. so early then we need to decide? So stupid!! Ah.. but anyway, this is their way, so……But this kind of dinner meal, I really don’t want to go, it will be bored, stupid, etc.. I really not that socialise, but……I really need to get use with all these!!
Just now I talked with Annie on MSN. She must be very very busy these days cos I did not talk to her for a long time already, ha ha!! Anyway, good luck to you. You will be fine and you will for sure get your degree!! Good Luck to you!!! Wish you all the best!!! Don’t forget to invite me to take photos when it is your graduation, ok? Ha Ha!!
Just now, I finally talked to my little cousin!! Firstly it is small bu bu, um… he is not happy. Of course, how can he happy? His mum just left him! He said that he was regret that the day before her mum’s death, when he got back home, he just went to bed and did not even talk to his mum…. Um… what can I say? Everybody will just regret for so many things when they cannot do anything else!! I regret too… I regret that I did not ring her more often! I just always said to myself, I will ring her this weekend, but then one weekend after one weekend, I never rang her….how can I said I love her!! Sorry, both of you, I did not treat your mum well enough!! I am really sorry!! He also ask me will I go back…. You know I really want to… but…… my work just won’t allow me to, and I don’t think my parents will want me to be back!! But of course, I did only tell him because of my work, so…. Then my elder cousin come up to MSN too. But his thought is just different. I think he hate us. He was blaming us that we don’t go back. I know he is!! I really feel so bad so bad!! Just because of so many misunderstanding between the adults, it makes the children suffer too! I really hate this!! You know, sometimes, I am really fad up, I am really!! I love my mum, really. She is good in everything, she really is, but I don’t know why, only with family problem, she dealt with it so badly??? My cousin ask me, no one from your family is going to come? You know, truly, I don’t know how to answer this question!! My mum… she can go, but…. My sister, she got exam, but.. not that soon…. My brother…. Finish exam, but he is just on his holiday…. Myself…. Ah…. Now I know that ALL these are just excuses!! So I just said… we all want to be back, but……my dad is planning to go!! Then he said it’s ok, he don’t want to talk about it! Then I told him, we all are very sad, don’t you know that how much I love your mum. Then he said, I know you are, but I am not sure about the others!! I really can’t believe that he criticise all of our love to her mum!! However, if he really angry with us, this is right! Anyway, he just said he don’t want to talk anymore and just go offline!! I think he is really angry!!! Actually, I hate myself!! I really want to go back now!! But… My heart is so struggling!! One of the things that I most regret in my life is that I did not attend my grandmother funeral in Taiwan when I am in secondary school. Cos… because of the stupid reason, I just give up the chance to go. Then I dreamt of my grandmother… I really saw her feel her and I even cry not just in my dream, but real life when I am sleeping. I know, cos my pillow is all wet!! I hate myself! I really! I am scared that I will regret again!! Ah…. I really don’t know what to do!!!!!
Just now I rang my sister as I want her to help me to check the ticket price in China Town, but…. I think she don’t understand what I think! She really don’t. She just think that whatever my mum said is right, ah….. I think my sister sometimes really got no brain, she is stubborn, she is .. she just don’t think properly!! Ah…. I hate myself, I really do!! Sometimes, I am scared that one day my relationship with my family is like my aunt with her family!! Cos everybody said that I am so like my aunt!! Ah…. But if I am really my aunt, for sure, I will want every of my relative to come. All the hatred should now let go!! But…My mum always said, if you are nice to a person, you don’t do things after they die, you should do it when they alive. Of course, I agree too, but my view is, if you can, why don’t you do something when they die too? If their relationship is good enough, my mum will for sure go back, but she is not going, why??? Just because their relationship is not enough only!! Or I am just thinking too much and making myself to suffer??? Ah….. Anyway, I can’t write anymore, I am too angry, I am losing my mind! I am crying already. Everybody will see, cos they are staring to leave, so I better stop!!!
常言道鬥爭 緊握了拳頭
拳頭若放開 可擁抱四周
靜默放心裡 笑容隨左右
前途在你手 你找到沒有
常言道強闖 少不免逆流
人柔弱似水 卻可以載舟
命運會刻意 鍛煉你身手
但勤勞是你的 最佳老朋友
得失只一念 風景不轉心境轉
煩惱來自偏執一切也依戀
風吹草動 命途亂了我不亂
交出了平常心 再隨緣
萬物有天意 我們有雙手
來而復去的 看一看便夠
自在放心裡 往事留背後
無為是最高 你聽過沒有
自在放心裡 往事留背後
浮雲後曙光 看一看便夠
17-06-2004 5:30 p.m. | | |
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