well, here's something to think about.

You know that saying, "Let go of what kills you and hold on to what keeps you breathing"?
Well, what happens if they're the same thing?

Currently Listening Calling the World By Rooney When did you heart go missing? see related

All too Sudden.

Ive always kinda wondered about people who die sudden deaths. You hear about the death part, but you dont hear about anything else. The news reports what happened, where, when. Maybe why. But we'll probably never know what the person ate for breakfast, what they were thinking before they died, if they were happy....
I've just always wondered. The person must have woken up that morning, thinking it was any normal day. Crazy, right? Skimming through the regular day, and then it all ends with a death. Who woulda thought? Everytime it crosses my mind i pray that nothing like that will ever happen to anyone i love. 
Hopefully last night will be the closest ill ever come to experiencing something like that. To see what it feels like. To be SO incredibly happy, and then all the sudden for things to just go so, so, incredibly wrong.

-d

Brave.

The cascading river...
Where does it find its energy?
wave after wave prounds down the watery
path, gaining speed, over numped, on and on.

The cascading river...
Where does it find its confidence?
the trees watch wave after wave, ready to soak
up and droplet that won't make it through the way

The cascading river...
Where does it find its hope?
always the same, wave after wave, working
for the ocean, which just seems so far away.

I wish i could be like the River
Unaffected by the numps and rocks;
In control when everything seemed to speed and rush;
Unphased by the audience ready for failure;
Not accepting the harsh conditions;
and not worried about reaching the ocean.

I didnt think the term "crying yourself to sleep" was actually possible.

Until last night.

ughhh shdkjhfkdsjf8sdwy3r98ur32r

:[ oh heyy

Please don't take this. It's not like i got it off some weird ass quote site or something. I wrote this when i was 13. Can you say dramatic? Haha.

I throw the stone into the lake, then turn around and wonder
Before i have a chance to stop myself
I jump into the lake and go under
I think about the world above and the nothingness below
Thinking to myself, then pulled into an undertow
Whizzing by, rocks and stones,
by the waves I'm getting pounded
My lungs and heart, doing summersaults
I find myself confounded
Whats the point of coming back up,
All my goals and plans are wrong
Feeling pretty dumb and hopeless
Where do i belong?
I stagger onto shore, gasping for fresh air
The idea of losing everything, is more than i can bare
I stand up straight and catch my breath then something hits my back...
I turn around and then look down,
The stone i threw came back.