Spain was awesome.

i made a few new friends.. so that makes me happy. hopefully i will be able to keep in touch with them well enough.

summer is like.. half over already.

i leave in 52 days.

yesssss.

nothing else is really new. same old thing.

xanga pretty much sucks.

xoxo Samantha.

so i'm officially done with high school.

graduated.

see ya.

i'm so estatic.

i'm leaving this town in 2.5 months.

if i actually like you.. you should make a point to see me before then.

i got a new car so you might not recognize me driving around town.

i have a lot of free time now that it's summer so if anyone would like to take a cruise in my car, go shopping, watch movies, or whatever... let me know.

i miss Elliott.

i've made a lot of new friends and grown apart from old ones. i guess it all comes with ending high school and moving on into the big bad world of college... and it's exciting and invigorating but at the same time it's sad because i'll miss my old friends and all the memories.

that's what they are though, memories. the things that have challenged me, worried me, excited me, made me happy, made me stronger... and that is what i am. im a stronger, changed person since i walked into highschool 4 years ago.

i've lived, i've loved, i've learned.

whether you think so.. i am a better person than i once was.

and for the first time in my entire life (that i can recall) i am a truly happy person.

i love my life.

i've finally realized that i don't need one person to make me happy. there are so many other people that care about me. that love me.

i always told myself that i'm done, moved on.. but this time.. i really have.

i know how to truly laugh.

and enjoy life.

and not care what she said or what he did behind my back. get real. in the long run none of high school drama matters.

ah, drama. it's pretty much inexistent in my life as of now.

and i plan to keep it that way.

i love my friends.

my graduation party is saturday. june 3rd. so if you know i would most likely love to see you there.... then please come on out. it's at the Bradley Bourbonnais Sportsman's Club from 1-5. i don't really have any activites planned.. so deal.

there is a keg, though. my mom told me that today. haha.

Spain's in 9 days.

xoxo Samantha.

so i just got home not too long ago from hanging out with one of the most adorable boys i have ever met.

Elliott. how cute is that name, i mean, honestly?

tonight was wonderfully amazing.

oh why must you live 3 hours from me ?

xoxo Samantha.

oh boy.

spring break is over as of tomorrow.

this has by far been the best spring break since Florida in 2003.

highlights:

- Scary Movie 4

- easter with the family.

- sleepover with my baby Jillian.

- chillin with Dan Guimond.

- TPing.

- chicago at 2am with this cute random boy named Elliott who i have a crush on.

- FP show with Lance, Jillian, Kris, Casey, and other cool kids. oh and the most adorable puppy ever named Apollo.

- Old School with Zach and Brian.

- Hot Tub at 12am.

- chillin with Drew.

oh there's more i just can't recall right now.

i don't wanna go back tomorrow!! ahhhhh.

i hope everyone else's break was awesome too.

xoxo Samantha.

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong
It's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you
I am just a fool for you
Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So sign me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over
Its all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes
Your lungs have failed and they both stopped breathing
My heart is dead and its way past beating
Something has gone terribly wrong
I'm scared, you're scared, we're scared of this
I never thought we'd make it out alive
I never told you but its all in your goodbyes
It's all in your goodbyes
Well look who's dying now
Slit wristless sleeping with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for that
It doesnt matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
Never mattered anyway
In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over
It's all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes
Don't shake, I hate to see you tremble
Trembling you've lost your touch
Haven't you run so addicted

----

i once told an old friend i wanted to use this song as means to explain myself.

and now i am.

and i don't like it.

---

xoxo Samantha.