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Rock_for_Peace
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Name: Matthew
Birthday: 9/17/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: pretending to be good at frisbee, hanging out, rock climbing, long boarding, sleeping, poker, skiing, rock and roll, going new places, world peace...
Expertise: People, hanging out with the aforementioned people, relaxing, crying over starving children in Africa, complaining about social injustice without accomplishing anything productive...
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  skiclimbandboard
Member Since:
8/10/2004
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| Summer So FarI'm still in Seattle for a few more days... then back to Philly. I have no idea what I'm doing after this. QLN has sort of kicked me in the balls a few times this summer and it's really killing me right now. I feel horribly disconnected from the main office, from the entire decision making process. It's really fucking traumatic to feel so disconnected from the same company that has so drastically changed the way I process and prioritize my goals. QLN has really altered the course of my life for the better, and I care about the company and what it does so so deeply, but right now, I'm just depressed by everything that has happened this summer. I don't know what to do with myself now, and I definitely don't know how to react to the company once this summer is over.
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| Soundtrack MomentDo you ever listen to the perfect album at the right time and it just fits? I've been listening to this same Ratatat album for the last 10 hours straight and it's been pretty much right on... Montanita while I drink rum&coke and read questionable content... Wildcat while I slump face-down on the couch in an insomniatic dellerium praying for sleep to come at 10am... Tropicana fits the haze I'm in at this point, like I'm wandering through a scene from Paprika...
Good God, being awake doesn't really stop the nightmares. If anyone has access to a Rx muscle relaxant or sleep aid, call me immediately... I'll probably be awake to answer the phone. I'm really only getting 3-4 hours of solid sleep a night anyway; the other 4 hours of 'sleep' is usually dreams... well, more like extended, slightly dissociative hallucinations that take on the form of bizarre and poorly-written movie epics (which is entertaining the first couple of times, but when 2 chicks double team a black horse in a pirate ship while you search for the magic paper and quill pen and you wake up remembering bits and pieces, it's really really really time for drugs). Furthermore, I'm having trouble ignoring the horribly morbid undertones... cue track 7 and the minor key as the post takes a turn downhill. It's amazing that this is coming out of my head so fluidly right now... usually there's a lot more editing and revision. I guess when caffeine, rum, and sleep deprivation team up with reading questionablecontent.net for 10 hours straight... the words start to flow. Ironically, the words stopped flowing in the middle of that last sentence. Did I mention that I read 700 pages of webcomics last night? I got bored and decided to check it out. Then I realized it was an extended storyline, and since I'm no quitter, I immediately clicked the "First" link and started reading. Ten hours later, I still can't sleep. If I had health insurance....
Seriously though, drugs. I need them. My current shiver & stomach ache could really be a mild convulsion & death pangs for all I know. Maybe a little bit of gas mixed in there, but I can't imagine what's causing that since I haven't tasted anything more than toast in 13 hours. But you normally don't eat in the middle of the night anyway, so why should I? Because I'm awake you say? you're right dammit.
Cue track 9 as I find a new resolve to try super-duper hard to pass out.
And then cue track 10 to sooth me to sleep (hopefully).
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| sigh
I don't do anything. I hate this stupid fucking job. I want to quit every time I think about it. I want to get away from PA. I want to do something else. I want less money. I want more connection with the people that have been in my life. Maybe I have too many friends. Maybe they don't all count me as a friend anymore. I miss a lot of people a lot of the time, and most of them are very close by here.
Other than that, I'm doing fabulous.
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| I might be a terribad person...I just found out that Heath Ledger died.... Is it horrible that the first question I asked was whether or not they finished filming Dark Knight?
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| Mac/UrbanOutfitters AddictionI bought a wireless Mighty Mouse last night, as well as a mini-dv to av cable. Also, a purple sleeveless hoodie...
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