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| Perhaps we love only because God loved first...I have been asking myself what love is for over 8 months now.
Clinging to what was easiest to believe and refusing to look deeper because I was afraid of only more questions. The funny is that as I've laid it down and stopped trying to define it with my words, my hopes, my silly expectations of what love should be...God's revealed to me HIS love. And my most recent discovery on love is that perhaps true love, the lasting one that we all long for, is in the end God's love and because of our human, fallen, earthly nature...we long to see love in another person. Another fallen creature like ourselves. God is so big and so incomprehensible at times to our finite mind, that to speak of God's love for us, though so real, seems so foreign. So perhaps God allows special people into our lives as a way of revealing His love for us.
But if God is love and love is a fruit of the Spirit, therefore something that we can never do out of our own nature...well perhaps, love is not something we do, perhaps it's not that neverending committed faithful decision that goes beyond feelings. Perhaps it's not the verb, the action, the choice..or any other earthly definition I have given it in the past. Maybe God is simply allowing us to see his love revealed to us through someone special.
So love never dies, it's just that at times the person that God was using to show us love is going to be used in another person's life. Perhaps God has called them home. Maybe they simply decided that they didn't want to reveal God's love anymore and moved on out of their own selfish desire. And the tears that fall, the hurt that breaks us, the fear that overwhealmes us, is not love leaving us or love dying....but simply us being confused because where God's love was being revealed it is no more. But when God closes a door, He opens another one...and though confused for a time and hurting because we are human, it is wise to understand that even though a special someone may leave...God's love doesn't and He is constantly revealing His love to us through people, if we watch carefully.
Therefore, if this is true, (which believe me I am still wrestling with!) then as we think of love, let us think of our Savior and let us pray that the special person that God chooses to allow into our lives as a way of revealing His love, is someone faithful to Him who will love not out of his own will or earthly desires, but out of a humble heart that has been choosen to reveal God's love to us. And let us love, not as we would see best...but as Christ would, because perhaps we love only because God loved first. | | |
| OffscriptMere actors on a stage, reading our lines.
Lines written by our past.
Lines dictated by who we were.
Lines that hold no surprises, no twists, no turns....
Like professional actors we know when to speak, when to respond, when to gasp in surprise or cry in sorrow.
We know when our lines should be read with joy, with passion, with anger or hurt.
We know what eachother's joy, passion, anger or hurt looks like,
for we have read eachother's lines,
we know the others with whom we interact because the script tells us...
We have become accustomed to their lines, to their way of delivering them, to their cues...
Dare we not stray from this script we now know, for confusion would arise.
How do I respond to a line I have never heard delivered that way?
What do I say when a different cue was given to me?
Who steps in when one forgets their lines?
Do we know ourselves well enough that lines come naturally, even those not dictated by a script?
Or must we rely on what everyone expects us to say? On what we have been saying?
And so goes life, friendships, relationships. We grow accustom to a way of interacting. We become comfortable knowing what the others are going to say and how they're going to say it. We feel safe in the fact that our lines are expected to be delivered a certain way. Little plays are acted out, we read our lines and respond as everyone thinks we will. But dare we go offscript a little? Challenge ourselves to see if the character we are playing is the real us. Are we the lines we read or are the lines a simple mask we hide behind?
What will you do when one forgets their lines and that awkward silence fills the stage?
What will you say when suddenly a line meant to cue you was delivered to someone else who cluelessly improvises through the scene?
Who will you be when the lines written for you no longer fit the play that is being acted out?
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| You Wont Understand...Sono tanti i pensieri che mi tormentano.
"Non ti amo piu..." parole che giorno dopo giorno mi pugnalano al cuore. Ma nessuno vedra le mie lacrime.
"Ho altre cose da fare..." cosa devo fare per vederti, passare due minuti con te?
Ma non vedrai le mie lacrime.
"Mi sembri un po' giu, sorridi un po" Io non ho niente per cui sorridere.
Ma non vedrete le mie lacrime.
Leggerete queste parole...ma non capirete.
Vedi il mio sorriso...ma non mi conosci.
Perche dietro a quel sorriso ci sono lacrime che non riesco a fermare....queste parole scritte in un'altra lingua, un grido del mio cuore, non capirete...
il tempo non si fermera...andrete tutti quanti avanti per le vostre strade.
Io rimarro qui, nascosta dietro a questa maschera. Piangero. Ma non mi vedrai. Urlero. Ma non mi sentirai. Spariro. E non nessuno se ne accorgera....
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| what is man that you are mindful of him?"How great is our God"
the crickets sang into the night
"Majesty, worship His Majesty!"
the stars proclaimed
"Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good."
the trees raised their branches to the heavens declaring the soverignty of our God.
Silently I stood in awe. We had stumbled upon one of the most amazing worship services I had ever encoutered. All of creation...the crickets, the stars, the trees...joining together to worship their Creator.
All I could do was hum along with the what I was sure the crickets were singing and ask myself why, when God has every star in the sky praising Him with their splendor, would He delight in a simple song from tiny little me? Why, when every tree raises their branches pointing to the One who brought them into existence, does he choose to hold my hand, though my arms are rarely raised in praise, but normally pointing at myself, proud of my accomplishments or at others condemning or judging them?
Why, when even in the middle of such a glorious depiction of true worship do I let my fears, questions and confusion distract me, rushing through my head like a speeding car, creeping into my mind like an eerie noise from the darkness? The cars drown out the cricket's sweet song. The noises from the bushes would pull my eyes into the darkness away from the splendor of the stars.
"Be still and know that I am God" I heard Him whisper.
"Be still and know that I am God" I heard it again, and again, and again...
The Creator of this universe, God Almighty, Our Sovereign King. Lord of Lords. He, the great I AM, joining us...looking past the stars and finding me. Listening beyond the crickets and hearing my questions, my thoughts, my fears. Knowing my arms were pointing back at me...he found my hand and holding it He whispered
"Be still and know that I am God"
The crickets continued to sing of His greatness, the stars proclaimed His majesty, the trees pointing to world to the One and only King of universe.
...I dont think I have ever seen a worship so genuine, so beautiful...
*When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him? The son of man that you care for him?* Psalm 8:3-4 | | |
| Psalm 126:3<< The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy >>
Psalm 126:3
If life were a musical my song today would be so happy. One of those songs you never hear on the radio that is infested with dissappointment, bitterness and dispair. Words you don't read on my blogs because they are poisoned by hurt and hopelessness. Yet today I smile...I'm giddy...I'm happy...The Lord has done great things though I deserve none of them!! Comfort in friends. Encouragement in ministry opportunities. Hope in His Word.
I AM FILLED WITH JOY! | | |
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