| ContradictionsIt seems those Taoists really knew their stuff. The whole Yin Yang balance of the universe stuff is pretty darn accurate. People are just walking contradictions that want to sit down.
A list of our peculiar human foibles.
In my old age I've decided the fewer words the better. So please make your own associations.
Summer - cranking up the AC
Apartment with a great view- put up shades
Sunny days- sit in the shade
Finding a girlfriend - having to take her out
Wanting to get laid - hating sluts
Having money - being gold dug
Not enough free time - boredom
Boy I sure am getting lazy.
Words/Phrase I despise
Industry
Business
Top Dog
Hustler
It is what it is
On point
Connected
Networking
Has connects
One of these days I will type a real entry again.
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| Featured post?I wonder what it takes to get your post featured. I suppose it has to be an entry of slightly more substance than what I'm about to write about. I've written a few profound doozies back in the heyday of xanga whoring, but I really don't have anything like that brewing in my mind at the moment.
Today I found a hole in my pants. This is not a metaphor for shoddy personal finances. This is a tear in the fabric of my left rear pocket where I put my overstuffed wallet (cards not cash.) I do not have time to change and I now have to go to a showing and hope the lovely investors don't see the giant hole in their broker's pants. lol Time to buy custom made or take some crap out of the wallet.
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| Just flip it. 3 bed/2bath Condom.Reversible condoms...the tangents my mind goes on. Odd. My father always calls condos condoms. You can imagine the range of expressions on the unsuspecting Realtor's faces when they hear we're here to see the condom. Occasionally there are a few clever ones who do more than just snicker. Some of the more memorable responses. "This is a lovely brand new condom. It's never been used. It may be a little large, but still a decent fit." "I wouldn't recommend this condom for flipping since the bubble may burst at any time." "This condom has an excellent security system providing maximum protection." That's enough realtor corn. Xanga is so empty these days. It feels like screaming into an empty hallway. Virtual kleenex for the mental masturbation that people are so fond of while they're idling their days away. This post is a little more off color than usual. It was inspired by menstrual subject matter. I'll return to the dry social commenetaries in my next post. |
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| RecoveryMy name is Antonio Wong and I'm a compulsive gambler. Actually typing that out was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Among my friends and relatives that term is thrown around lightly, even affectionately. I really wanted to type "I was a compulsive gambler." But honesty is a big part of the recovery. The easiest person to lie to is yourself and it's a habit that many of us are guilty of far too often. I've been casino clean for 10 months and 2 days. I haven't played my beloved Poker since February. I did gamble in Macau, but only in the spirit of recreation. No excuses. So my clean time is far less impressive. It's at about 87 days. Well then there was the family blackjack on July 5th. But that was only for pocket change and it was tradition. No excuses. I've been clean for 9 days. Well that's a great way to minimize an achievement. Falling off the wagon aside...
Having drastically reduced the amount of time, effort and money I used to waste on gambling I have very painfully, inexorably and slowly shift my life in the direction I want. It hasn't been easy nor has it been the glorious euphoric freedom I had imagined. Gambling has been replaced by increased partying and useless spending. Now that too will be severely curbed. But I have marshaled the growing scraps of willpower into a mildly respectable force. But first a bit of recap.
Immediately following my cold turkey break with the casinos last September I entered a period of complete abstinence from gambling. But I hung on to my poker habit because poker is a game of calculated risk and applied skill. In theory, perhaps, but for a recovering compulsive, poker is just one more place for the disease to manifest. Online I was fine, merrily clicking away at my short-handed ring games steadily growing my once pitiful bankroll. But my live game suffered horribly. I "rewarded" my good online play with sessions of "recreational" live play. It wasn't until a car accident at the end of February that I managed to begin to get a grip on myself. I was at the end of another weeklong marathon of work, poker, work, poker, 2 hours of sleep, rinse, repeat. I was on my way home for some much needed sleep after an early morning condo showing (of course I went to work in the morning, making good money is very important when you spend the rest of your time blowing it.) I was 2 blocks from home when the car in front of me stopped short and I was out of it for a moment. But in that split second of distraction I had closed too close to the car in front of me. I had just enough time to swerve to the right to dodge the baby in the backseat. BOOM. Luckily nobody was injured, but it could have been much much worse.
It has been nearly five months since that Sunday in February when I had the rude awakening. I've been making plenty of mistakes on this road to recovery, but I've finally ironed out most of the kinks. Some think this whole self-improvement/recovery angle is just a temporary phase. If that's how your feel, then fuck you. If I wanted your opinions I would look for some used toilet paper. Unsolicited advice is most unwelcome. I've always been a big fan of upgrades.
I'm going to start with myself.
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