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Ryan586
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Name: Ryan
Gender: Male
Interests: Activities:
-Dancing, i like to sing, i enjoy theatre, i've done some debate/politic involvement. Others... I like rock climbing, hiking, volleyball, baseball, biking/running, skiing/boarding, reading, pondering, i'm a stargazer, languages, evangelizing, hanging out with my Amish friends, the quest for truth,
Favorites:
-GOD the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. FOOD! , A wide range of music, squirrels and turkeys, friends, Poland, the 1940's, anything that involves energy and adventure; .....
--I collect sweet bumper stickers too--
Expertise: Impersonations a little, rolling chives?, Squirrel translator, jack of all trades.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  RyanBVS 1rstCOB
Member Since:
2/3/2004
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| Not abnormal for me, but it's been a while. I don't feel the need to write to cyberspace much anymore. (not like I ever had) --However, I thought it might be fitting to share this entry with others. Today my college cancelled classes for the 2nd time in it's 50 year history, due to snow. Not only did this day bring back many past memories of home and holidays, but also of others times. I have kept seeing pieces of my life in the past; seeing what I had once seen, feeling what I once felt; and understanding what I had once understood. It never stops surprising me when I lose sight of something I had once known so well, to only eventually come back and realize how foolish I was in forgetting. My most recent years that have passed have been characterized mostly by worry, doubt, fear, heartache, and depression. My mind is a plague that gives no mercy and no warning. Granted these things have lessened in this past year, but this plague is not easily subdued. I shared with a friend recently about hope, and I realized that it was that small thread of hope that pulled me along and keeps pulling me toward something I have been looking for.
When I first embraced this hope instead of just leaning on it, I found that it was still subject to my doubts, fears, and worries. In order to satisfy the questions that ensued, I came to test the faith in the God that had led me to hope all these years. He was either true and I wanted to know Him, or he was false and I wanted to ditch Him. I came to school; the battle was demanding and taxing in so many ways. I wanted control and power to understand this person so many believe in. I was disappointed to find I couldn't do that, but despite be unsuccessful at this, I could not dismiss Him. The farther I go, the more I see that He and His Word stands true, and that I cannot harness Him or test drive Him or have Him submit to my will (thank God). And now I find every day that instead of me studying Him and forming Him into my life, He is drawing me closer and molding me to the image of His Son, Jesus, the long ago promised Messiah and Savior.
First, I dealt with my own failure to measure up, then I had to start sorting through my pride and anger and fear. It has been a burden so heavy at times, it feels hopeless; and yet it has never been so much that I gave up. I can see through these struggles that the more I give up my will to this God I hoped to find, the more my spirit feels at home. I find it interesting that, as such a large doubter of everything spiritual, I can now say that my allegiance is given to God, the one who sits above all things, the creater of the universe, the author and perfector of my faith, the triune deity. I can now say the Bible is the inspired, infallible Word of God, and that it stands as truth, even when man's attacks on it leave me to doubt for a time. I can now say that He loves me and He did give Himself up for me so I could be reconciled to Him. While building these bridges, I have never been given more joy. Tonight, I have been given a gift to see the world apart from myself, and it gives me all the more joy, and yet it grieves my heart, because I see what we've done to ourselves. There is such beauty and such magnificense all around us and yet we have all darkened our hearts to hide from our guilt. And in this place we manufacture philosophies and sweet sounding lies to keep us from the pain. Although, if you yourself hurt, how much more does it kill your Father, who made you, to see you hurting. He wants you and he labored and sweat blood to make a way for you to meet back to Him and again hold on to His guiding, outstretched hand.
You were not made to toil in frustration, confusion, and uncertainty your whole life until you die. You already know this. So then, I ask you, why were you made, do you have a purpose, are you living out that purpose or are you allowing lies and pride to hold you in compromise? Why do you seem to detest so much the very One who is trying to rescue you? Don't let your ignorance, your self-esteem, your pride, or your unmasked fear bind you and blind you. Embrace the hope you have been given, shed the lies we've made for ourselves, and rationally seek God and His righteousness, no matter what that may mean. Lord, your ways are above our ways, and your actions are good and just. Have mercy on your children because we have sinned against you and gone our own ways. I ask you to forgive on not on our own merit but because of who you are and because of your name. Hear our cries and lead us to the truth that is in you. Take our lives, guide our steps, and pick us up when we fall. Who can wage war against you? It is like an insect waging war against the sun. Who can disprove you? It is like a fool shouting at the wind. Lord, you stand the test of time, because your love endures forever and your kingdom cannot perish. Thank you for who you are and what you have sacrificed to give us the chance to have a relationship with you. In Jesus name, hear your children-Amen.
"Then I said, 'O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands," -Nehemiah 1:5
"The conclusion, when all has been heard, is fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgement, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil."
-Ecclesiastes 12:13,14
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| Maybe I will actually update while I am back in York this week, but I got to get ready for Missouri...and the plane ride. I would like any friends who are home in the area to let me know asap so I can see some of you before I go. Gimme a call.
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| I wish i could update properly one of these days. Just pulled another 14 hour day and tomorrow is the same thing. The work is emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining but the more i advance prayer life, the more i will be able to handle it, as is already being shown. For anyone's knowledge, I will be at Creation because it is part of my job this summer. Thank the Lord for youth groups and their events! God Bless yu'ns. | | |
| Hey, I'm not studying at the moment, I know its amazing. So, I am finally coming to the point where I can really see myself dieing. But that's a good thing, I'm talking about full submission to my Lord who I already trust and want to always be with. Now all I have to do is be crucified to the flesh and live completely by the Spirit. I do not think this will happen overnight of course, but this is this the beginning to something greater for me, yet it is not for me, the blessings that will be given me will be the byproduct of God being glorified and His work being done (however He chooses to do that).
"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery" -Galatians 5:1
I want to be the best I can at whatever I do. So, therefore I can choose to stay a slave to sin, because the sowing in the flesh reaps destruction of the flesh, or I can faithfully and freely choose to be a slave to Christ which is greater than all else. So many others things I want to write and to tell you but I must stop talking and now let us all listen. Listen, recognize what you are hearing and obey!
I love you all, The Lord is good, -Ryan | | |
| This is so i dont have to really update, lucky you!
sterotype quiz
My results:
--THEATER KID-- 7
--REDNECK-- 5
--GOTH-- 0
--PUNK-- 2
--PREP-- 1
--HIPPIE-- 5
--GANGSTA-- 4
--EMO-- 4
--SURFER-- 5
--GEEK-- 3
THEATER KID--
[x] Ever been in a play?
[x] Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
[x] Seen more than 10 shows? (including church ones . .)
[x] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[] Want to end up working in/for theater
[] can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[x] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!
[x] Do you like the Sound of Music?
[x] Did you like the Broadway show?
Total X: 7
--REDNECK--
[] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[x] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[x] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[x] Do you like to get dirty?
[x] Do you like country music?
[] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[x] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[] Do you live on more than 1 acre?
[] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
[] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy movies?
Total X: 5
-GOTH-
[] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[] Is most of your clothing dark?
[] Do you think about death often?
[] Do you want to die?
[] Are you a social outcast?
[] Are you pale?
[] Do you like Hot Topic?
[]Do you enjoy Tim burton movies?
[]are you mean?
Total X: 0
--PUNK--
[]Can you skateboard
[] Do you wear Vans, dcs, converse, ect.?
[] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[x] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[x] Do you watch the x-games?
[] Do you have any piercings?
[]Do you like/wear a mohawk?
[] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[] Are you a rebel without a cause?
[] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total X: 2
--PREP--
[] Do you say the word "like" alot?
[] Do you shop at hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AEO/Aero?
[] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[x] Do u laugh alot when your with your friends/girlfriend or boyfriend
[] Have/do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[]Do you like pop music?
[] do you have a little dog?
[] Do you smile & laugh a lot!
[] Do you hang out with your friends alot?
[] Do you always carry a purse/wallet
Total X: 1
--HIPPIE--
[] Is your hair long?
[x] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[] You think war is unnecessary?
[x] do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[x] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
[] Do you play a eukalele or os?
[] Do/have u ever smoked the peace pipe?
Total X: 5
--GANGSTA--
[] Do u act ghetto?
[] do u wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[] do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] do you like to dance?
[] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total X: 4
--EMO-
[] Do you cry often?
[] Do you wear hoodies?
[] Do you like hard music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[x] have you ever cut yourself?
[] ARE U LONELY?
[]Do you like "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights?
[x]Do you think a lot?
Total X: 4
--SURFER--
[x] Do you surf?
[x]Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[] Is your hair shaggy?
[x] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[] Are you tan?
[x]Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[] Do you like tourists?
Total X: 5
--GEEK--
[] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[] Do you use an inhaler?
[x] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[] Are you on the computer often?
[] Do you ever get picked on?
[x] Do you look forward to going to school?
[] Are you shy around the opposite sex
[] You play video games?
Total X: 3 | | |
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