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| stand, applaud, sit downremember that "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsiepop commercial? well.... lafevers has begun a quest of "how many times do i have to hit myself in the head with a 1cm thick ruler in order to die" . stand.. applaud. keep applauding... alright..sit. he's at 172 at the moment...no death.... | | |
| anti-christ watch: day unohello xanga faithful...
by now i'm assuming some of you have returned back to your xanga homes to find your fireplace lit, your fridge fully stocked, and your beds cozy and warm.
soon we shall all gather together in our xanga ghetto for a beautiful reunion party.
but for now..
I must address a growing rumor that i've heard floating around over the past two years. Now, I thought only the weakminded and those who consumed far too many paint chips as a child shared this view (and maybe thats the case in this situation). However, recently a certain CIT who served under me (who shall remain nameless) announced this false-hood, stating it as fact, infront of a roomful of impressionable minds, almost causing me to insert a nearby broom into his nether regions.
this rumor is that one Presidential hopeful (fingers crossed) is the "Anti-Christ". now whether this statement was made out of ignorance, racism, lead paint-chip deserts, or just a low IQ....i was rather angered. Not just by him saying that, because believe it or not, it was not the most absurd thing I'd heard from him, but rather that it was said infront of some kids who i feared would believe it, or even worse repeat it to someone else.
Political views aside, lets all hold hands together, sing "Combyya", agree that this is a ridiculous argument...and launch a true man hunt, for this so called "Anti-Christ"...
I've gathered a list of possible suspects so we have something to build from..
Suspect #1.
Brittany Spears: We see clues to this in the Muslim prayer that goes something like, "Allah is the true god and Muhammad is his prophet". Now, substitute Allah for Brittany Spears, god for Anti-Christ, and Muhammad for Kevin Federline. and it reads "Brittany Spears is the true Anti-Christ and Kevin Federline is her Prophet". Evidence piece part 2....
Suspect #2
Dick Cheney:
-Point A. Look at the man...
-Point B. Look at the man...
-Point C. Where's he been the past 4 years? other than random news of the bird-shot massacre he brought down on one of his friends, and random surgery's.. Well I'll tell ya where he's been....gathering his army...no no, not the U.S. Army. One much worse than even the firey pits of Mordor could produce...oh yes....his little demons...
(this next point is my homerun)
-Point D. You might wonder...why would you pick out Mr. Cheney instead of George Bush....well. my friends... ask your self the question...
If a ventriloquist and his puppet are on stage....and the puppet says to you "Your the ugliest person i've ever seen, take you and your fat wife and get out", do you punch the puppet, or the man with his hand up the puppets butt?
just saying, just saying...
and my third and final suspect of the night.
Suspect #3.
3-Tie between: Lyndon "Duke" Hanson, Scott Seamans, and George Boedecker
Summary: You may not be as familar with these 3 names as you were the previous 2, but their atrocities are just as vicious. These three men have preyed on American Culture, These three men have ruined any sense of fashion America once had, These three men, have brainwashed american's from age 1-81.
These three men....are the inventors....of Crocs.....
 
unfortunately, George Boedecker had no online photos...because he's in jail for threatening to slit his brothers throat....need i say more..
these men, whether the ant-christ or not....are truely in, what GW Bush would call the "Axis of Evil"
there...think on that....i am at camp once again, so while i'm at the top of the waterslide for 8 hours tommorrow, i shall ponder more wisdom and insight, that i will later pass on to you.
livestrong xanga. livestrong
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| stop the migrationNo....
I cannot allow this to happen.
I have greatly neglected this xanga for way too long.
A few different friends pointed out to me at different times this summer how this blog used to be funny and good times...
now it is fallen into the lonely closet of abandoned xangas.
it's time for a revolution my friends...
if you've joined one of the new trendy blogs that have popped up over the last two years....i call you to return to the Motherland that is Xanga.
She will welcome you home with open arms and kill the fatted calf.
viva la revolution.
-ryan | | |
| mastercard, visa, discovercheck,
check,
check 1,
this thing on?
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| the macjust wanted to break the silence to say, fleetwood mac is still the greatest band ever..
the dance dvd is my newest purchase and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna end up burning a hole in the dvd....gives me goosebumps....wow
in other news, yes i am alive, and we should hang out sometime
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