The first song in a while...

Keep On Fighting
Ryan Vice

Got no money to my name
Just a couple songs inside my brain
I'll turn this train around
One day, just you wait...
Nevermind the problems piling high
Nevermind the mountains between you and I
We'll see the sun again
So baby, please don't cry...

We'll just...keep on...fighting
With both hands tied behind our backs.
Just...keep on...fighting
With both hands tied behind our backs...

She's not the only one who feels afraid
Not the only soul that aches today
She's on the road to somewhere
Where no map can lead the way...
She's lonely but alone she feels alive
Butterflies set free in troubled skies
You know, a rose can grow
Through concrete sometimes...

We'll just...keep on...fighting
With both hands tied behind our backs.
Just...keep on...fighting
With both hands tied behind our backs...

Remember you ain't the first
This world has fallen upon...
And even when you're at your worst
Keep fighting on...

My Own Heart

My Own Heart
Ryan Vice

Well, I'm too young to know better
Too old to play these games with you
Sitting all alone in this room without a view
I hit the wall and I lost my speed
The air I held within my lungs
Got kicked right out of me
But here I stand on someone else's feet
And I'm afraid that ol' reflection
In the mirror just ain't me...
Anymore...

So here I go, chasing down the old shadows
Of the past I left behind
Finding nothing but the realization that I've finally lost my mind
Or...was it my own heart that I've betrayed?
Well, I'm afraid...either way
There's nothing left to say
Anymore...

Try to walk down a sidewalk
Just to have it walk on me instead
One way or the other I'll hit the floor
There's so much more to this life
Than what I've been living for
I can't feel my own heart beat anymore...

But here I go, tip-toeing through fire just to waltz in the rain
And if my feet down get too tired
I'll tread these coals again
This time to see what the future has in store
Because the past has been a liar
I can't take the present anymore...no...
Anymore...

Try to walk down a sidewalk
Just to have it walk on me instead
One way or the other I'll hit the floor
There's so much more to this life
Than what I've been living for
I can't feel my own heart beat anymore...

A song for the sleep impaired...me.

I wrote this one because I've been having a hard time sleeping. It's inspired by the fast paced Dylan blues songs...very fun to play!

Sleep Deprived Blues
Ryan Vice

Well, the noise from the oscillating fan on the wall
Tells my tired and troubled and tortured soul to fall
Down a mole's hole where a man's troubles all disappear.
When lightening strikes like a match to gasoline
Consumes my brain with everything but a peaceful dream
I'm wide awake and now I start to fear...

I'm lookin for the answeres when I should be fast asleep...
My mind won't let my head be...

My pillow says, "Hey man, you owe me one."
My blankets called me a neglectful son of a gun
But my matress waits in quiet anticipation.
I know I may never return to them
Until there's stillness within my soul once again
Somehow I must amend this situation.

I'm lookin for the answeres when I should be fast asleep...
My mind won't let my head be...

It could be heartache or break or any other pain
From yet another romance headin' south again
Well, God knows I ain't the easiest to get close to
Or it could be the need for me to rise above
Anything that ever could be holding me up
God says, "I don't know, but I think, quite possibly, you do..."

I'm lookin for the answeres when I should be fast asleep...
My mind won't let my head be...

No time to sit and talk just give me what I need
Tell me, how come I can't bring myself to dream?
Say that love won't part ways without a hostage...
So, my sleep it seems was the price this time
But why'd it have to take along my peace of mind?
Tell me, "Love will send it back, but you gotta pay the postage..."

I'm lookin for the answeres when I should be fast asleep...
My mind won't let my head be...

Well, alright, okay, I think it's safe to say
Finally figured out why I've been actin this way
Should be on the road to slumbertown soon...
Then a melody starts to form in my ear
And all my earlybird neighbors begin to overhear
This tired and lovesick man compose this song...

I'm lookin for the answeres when I should be fast asleep...
My mind won't let my head be...

I knew that once Maya left, I'd be writing again. I was right. Here's two new songs. Well, the first one I wrote when she was just about to leave...the second I just wrote yesterday.

This Dizzy World

Ryan Vice

I think I’m lonely now

But it’s hard to say while you’re still around

And I’ve been missing you

Even as you lay in my room

It’s been the talk of the town

You’re leaving on the next plane out

To where you’ll find your place

In this dizzy little world with it’s ever-changing face

Well, I cannot say that

The blame’s on you

I wish I could get used to this

But the ceiling’s spinning

My mind goes blank.

I can’t believe I’m losing you

To this dizzy world…

I think I’m needing you

The tears in your eyes say you need me too

The paths we’re walking on

May never lead us back into

Each other’s open arms

But, I cannot say that

The blame’s on you

I wish I could get used to this

But the ceiling’s spinning

My mind goes blank.

I can’t believe I’m losing you

To this dizzy world…

This dizzy world…

Sweet Dreams & Battle Cries

Ryan Vice

I’m finding me…

A new way to breathe without you

In this life that I lead but…

It’s frightening

To know that I will still survive

Without you around in my life…

Tell me slowly

Am I the only one feeling lonely?

Well, you know me

And I’ll be okay

But I worry

When I hear you’re hurting

If you’ll just let me

I will sing the pain away.

I’m finding me…

A new way to breathe without you

In this life that I lead but…

It’s frightening

To know that you will still survive

Without me around in your life…

You say that you’ll never

Forget me ever

But if it’s all for the better

I’ll let you move along

And this will be goodbye,

Sweet dreams and battle cries

I guess that it’s all just another

Line in a song…that I sing…

I’m finding me…

A new way to breathe without you

In this life that I lead but…

It’s frightening

To know that we will still survive

Without each other there in our lives…

It's been awhile since I've written on here. A lot has changed, as is always the case in life, since the last time I wrote. I still miss Papaw, I'm still saying good bye to Maya, and I do miss having my good friends closer...but I can't begin to describe how good life is right now! I just watched the little clip that Mom has on her journal of her crossing the finish line!!! I'm soo proud of her and her determination to LIVE her life! I love you mom! My parents just celebrated their 25 year anniversary in a time when most people don't stay married. The commitment, devotion and hard work they've put into something bigger than themselves is so incredible. I love you both so much! Thank you for giving Aly and me a great family to be a part of. Lubbu! :)

My life out here on Maui is good. I'm becoming a big part of the Cafe, and that's a really cool thing. I represented the cafe at a dinner fund raiser in Wailea yesterday. Being referred to as "Chef Ryan Vice" was a pretty cool thing, I must admit. I was happy to be there, representing a place that I really do love working for. I took Maya to the latest art opening last night when I got back, and we just hung out with all my friends at the Cafe. The new art exhibit is really cool, and as I sat there, I couldn't help but be grateful for having such a place! Good people, fun times, great art, enjoyable work and opportunities to share my music...I couldn't ask for more from one place! I'm blessed!

My music endeavors are bordering on becoming a "career" as we speak! I've got my first "regular" gig at Cafe Mambo in Paia. Larry, my drummer, and I played there this past Friday. The response was incredible! People were coming up to me, talking about my music, where I play, when I'll be back, how much they loved it. I had one lady actually thank me for sharing my music with her! Normally people just say, "That was really good man!" I don't think I've been thanked for playing by someone like she did. I could tell my music really touched her...very cool! As it stands right now, I'm almost to a point where I can pay rent with what I make from music. If I can reach that point, I'll be able to start saving money for things like a new guitar, a computer and studio time. It's amazing how quickly things are developing for me. I can't help but feel confident that this is the path I need to be on. I'm glad to be on it!!!

A week ago, Maya and I spent our last weekend as a "couple." We spent it with her youth pastor and her family over in Keanae, which is halfway on the road to Hana. It's a VERY local place. There are tour buses that pass through, snapping pictures of the ocean and beautiful mountains, but besides that, it's pretty much untouched by tourism. They have the taro patches there. This is one of the traditional crops of Hawai'i. This is a link that you guys can go to so you can see the Keanae peninsula, http://www.worldofstock.com/closeups/TAH1392.php. While we were out there, we got to pull taro. I've got to say, pulling, harvesting and replanting taro, was one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had the chance to experience. This is a tradition that has been passed on from generation to generation for as long as there have been people on these islands, and to be able to say that I had a chance to take part in that...it was great! It felt really good to give back to the land that I've been fortunate to live on for the past two and a half years. I'm going back out there soon to help pull taro again. I felt Papaw's presence out there. I couldn't help but relate Mississippi to so many things out there. The old pick up trucks, the dogs runnin around, the people and how they knew everybody...it all reminded me of Papaw! After we were done in the taro patches, we went to a pond and swam around and jumped off rocks. I built up the courage to jump off of the bridge that crossed the stream and pond, which was about thirty feet up. That was a great experience! I love doing things like that because it really lets you know just how much you actually are capable if you just make your mind up.

So that's what I've been up to lately. Life is good. I'm going to go surf now.

Love you guys!

-Ryan