. . -`]),_ eargasm: missing me. rj helton
' and i still cry for you. i would die for you. i can`t believe all the words i heard you say. i still love for you. i was strong for you. i can`t believe that you`d throw it all away. '

happy belated mother`s day to all the mommy`s out there =]
(does anyone even read xanga anymore?)

ahhh ! they`re having so many artista`s in angeles. becos of the opening of the new sm city clark. but infairness, sm clark is really nice tho. i mean it`s huge. it`s kinna like manila style so it`s super nice. anyways, it`s hecka astig nga because since i live in nepo, i could hear bamboo performing in the nepo quad. hehehehe =] i can`t wait till hale comes here. i`m guna be screaming my butt off !

two nights ago, as i was about ready to go to sleep, i turned on the radio on my cellphone. the song kung wala ka by hale came on and it was kind of an instinct for me to change the station but for some reason my finger couldn`t find the right nerve to push the switch button. i layed there in my bed listening to the first verse and by the time the chorus came on i realized my shirt was wet. i was crying. i quickly wiped away my tears and willed myself to be strong and get through the rest of the song without crying but it wasn`t even the 2nd verse and i was crying once again. i guess just hearing that song again (since i haven`t heard it in some time), it just brought back memories . . i miss him so much and i don`t really know what`s worse. not seeing him everyday and wanting to see him or being in his graceful presence day after day but still having to resist my emotions and urges of love for him. yes, he might still love me like bessy said but will that matter after this wednesday? will he give in like i`m constantly praying he will ? sana lang . . i saw his family last night. it just really upset me. i cried through the whole car ride home . . i wonder if he knows that my heart belongs to him and only him. that all he really has to do is, C0ME BACK and take it. its his, on an empty platter. my heart, my love & everything i have is just sitting there waiting for him to realize that what we have is too good to let go of . . it`s funny how things work. in the beggining he was the one holding on for me, for us. now, i can`t help but chuckle because I`M the one that`s holding on, for myself, for him, for us. for goodness` sake, i`m holding on for dear life but i just wish he would let go of his walls and just let me in. if he does, i can prove to him that i won`t ever, ever leave him again.

- - i`m so upset with the people that think they understand me. i`m pissed at them because they say they understand, they say they care but they only care when it`s time to party. but when you really need them, they`re no where to be found. either that, or they say that i should just move on. damnit, if it was so gosh darn easy to move on then they should do it ! how can you people even call yourselves friends ? . . bessy, sana nga i`ll be okay. pray for me, na magiging handa ako. pray for him, namagiging malambot ung puso nya. pray for us bestfren.

ehii, i`m so sad ! fred was evicted =[ pbbte hecka made a mistake. i`m sorry but i think clare should have left. i mean it was kinna okay for me for wacky to leave but ehii, i`m so sad. i really wanted him to atleast be in the power 4. ehii, i hope fred & nina don`t get together. i want him ;P hehehehehehe !


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFnyvl4C5y0 <<_ ahaha! watch this video. lafftrip to the max !

takecare always. muah<3
. . -`]),_ lexi