Its over..

(100105-041407)

but the month of "August" was most deff. the last chance you ever got from me. Its official.

i gave you so many chances & you didn't change, so i gotta do what i gotta do.. which is to move on with my life, either with you in my life or without you.. but you proven me that it wasn't meant to be..

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Finally i get to start over, a new life.. with my boyfriend(: *082307.

he's fabulous & i appreciate the fact that hes actually tryin to do whats best to just make me happy :D (finally, shit ! been a long ass time) I really hope we can stay strong & make it happen for the both us. But as for right now, you're makin me feel real good inside, boo & keep doing your thang, sweeety.

I know we live pretty far from each other, but i guess we're gona make it work somehow right babe? :]

I love spending every second with you<33

I really need a break from everything..

What a day ..

    Which is not my day.

I feel so dead today & so depressed .. most of the time i was sleeping & trying to ignore the fact that my head is pounding like a b****. Urgh, whatever..

anyways, break is almost over! ]: i REALLY dont wan`a go back to school. Im not ready for the MATH portion of the WASL. Good thing, we don't have to pass it no more, but we're gon'a have to pass 4yrs. of our math classes. But thats okay with me, cause either way.. passing it or not, im still going to take 4yrs. of math, so im not really tripping. Lol (: But yeah, the only reason why im doing this is, because i mess'd up last year and im really trying to make it up from now on, during my 4yrs. of high school.

I hate thinking so f****** much!

                               Katheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

                     Ps. if you haven't noticed, im not tryin' to

                           cuss anymore (like how i did before)

                           but i will still cuss a b**** out, if im

                                                   mad.

I think i know what i need..

   I need to see my boyfriend more often!

because i notice when i don't, me&him usually have a bad time on the phone, but when we do see each other.. all it is, is happiness in our eyes.. & seeing him makes my day so much better...Also, we hardly aruge when we see each other, like we do on the fone...

I just wish, one of us have a car.. it would make things way easier..

   Urghhhh ]:<

thats what i need. yuuuup.

Damn it been a long time since i wrote anything in here..

hmmmm..

                                 Whats new with me, ehh?

SCHOOL. SCHOOL. SCHOOL is my main thing right now, i really want to do superduper goood ! since i mess'd up badly last year ]: & last semester i did good ! 3.5 baby, shit 10x's better then last year, so i aint tripping.. But yeah i am starting to get lazy, but im trying to handle that situation right now..Cause, really i promised myself to not sluff on school no more. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING FOR KATHEE, ya'dig? I DIG (: But yeah, i just found out my best subject in school is language arts and the worst right now is geometry >:[ I really, really need some serious tutoring or help at least, because i dont really know shit, lol and the MATH WASL PORTION is coming up, too! :[ & im stressing like crazy even though you dont need to pass it anymore, i still want to pass it and do super good on it. Also, i have some careers for the future in mind (: nawmean? gotta get ready now; the earlier, the better.

Anyways enough about school ...

MY LIFE..

It's not all that great at this point, or for the past year already. Sometimes it just seems soo useless to be in a relationship with him right now.. Idk` i feel like i need to be single so there wont be so much stress holding me back from school, because i have to admit.. SCHOOL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.. more than anything & it seems like he moved down to #2 on my list and education is the 1st. But i still got mad love for him, always will. Yeah, i have to admit it seems like he's such a good boyfriend right now, always trying to please me to make me happy. By changing & trying so hard for me, also one last important thing is not giving up on me. No girl can ever find a guy like him & im grateful to have a guy like him, but it seems like right now doesnt seem like the right time to have a boyfriend, and whenever i try to break it off.. i always come running back in the quickness because it felt like a part of me will always be taken by him.. I know he loves me, but sometimes he makes things hard for me, which causes me to fall back on school... and i cant take it sometimes, it drives me insane. Im still stressing about the past, and YES it been a long time but i just cant seem to forget&forgive.. its just something that hurt me that bad, to not give it up... Ah, i just wish i can just move on with that stuff off of my shoulder.. But i just can't, i dont know how.. Also, there isnt much trust in our relationship which is really sad.. but he's trying to earn it back.. I dont know what im trying to say.. its hard to explain it in words.. But yeah, i still love him & i do believe that we're meant to be.. Also, im just too attached to him to really let him go sometimes.. But i promised myself, if he do me wrong one more time, its going to be over with, officially. So im going to sit back and relax, and let this love lead the way...