so here i am .. sitting at my mom's again with nothing to do.

well i came over for dinner, but someone ate all the chicken! so i'm not hungry anymore. isn't it sad.lol im hungry and bored.  as usual these days.

tuesday this past week i finally drove over and saw melanie.   gosh...  it was fun. well for me it was.. since there isn't anything to do out here. but we had a mini girls day out.

hmm... and last night i saw clayton b4 school starts.  he took me to dinner and a movie.  i was sick and groggy and guess what i was tired but came home at 12. gosh.. it was icky  i didn't go to work yesterday etheir i just wasn't in the mood. and in the correct health to go.  so i stayed hoem and cleaned my room and.. i even rearranged it.  =/ yea i was that bored.

i work weekends now as a guarantee.  since i got a job at great clips.   yups.!  i'm a receptionist and i do what a receptionist is supposed to at a salon.  hehe.

monday following that,  i resume school!  yay.. well kinda .. i''m  looking forward to it and i'm not.  yups.   im taking 4 classes  and i'm not sure what to think of it. i 'm not taking a PE course, but i wanted to take yoga.   and for something new, im taking  spanish... 100~! hehe hey  i gotta start somewhere! so i'm excited about that.  

i want to quit arrowhead bagel , but im just not ready to yet!  i love working there and communicating with customers.. but the hours aren't gonnna hack it for me.  sucks but i gotta do what i hafta.

i still miss all of my friends i wish we all were a lot  closer.

i really should update this more.

i hope everyone had a good xmas, mine was ok

hmmm happy new year, i'm glad that all of us have made it to the new year.   for new years, i didn't have as much fun. i was homesick. it was the first new years i had away from home and i wasn't enjoying myself at all.    i didnt even drink!  lol well yups not to bore u again.. so im gonna go!

Hmm... Remember that weekend before thanksgiving?  with all that heavy rain and rain and pouring rain?  well up over here .. well a good 15 minutes away all the way the cajon pass and up the hill to the mountains, IT SNOWED!  yesirreee it DID!  & i was the lucky one to get STUCKED all the way up there.

That saturday, clayton and his daddy dave took me to the majove desert so we can all look at Indian petroglyphs.  boy was it a beautiful day. the sun was out and heated us just right and the wind was just graceful.  As soon as we get home... it gets chilly and we notice it starts to hail.  we were like WHOA... today was soo pretty and sunny and LOOK AT ALL THE HAIL... gosh it was POURing those DIPPIN Dots! 

the floor looked so white and scrumptious!   soon, the hail lightened and we started to get little flecks of snow.   i was supposed to drive down the hill that night to get  home but the taylors in no way would let me drive down the pass in that weather  becuase i have never driven in such conditions.  so i ended up staying the night.  We went over to the Thompsons which are the neighbors and  family friends of the taylors.  the boys had  a big poker night and talk of religion beliefs and existing gods - while on the other hand, the girls just talked looked at already bought xmas gifts, baked and watched over the little ones.  .. dave clayton's dad was soo drunk off of beer. at the time i wanted to go home, he was still drunk and going on and on about religion, so clayton and i decided to walk all the way home in the snow.  We didn't realize how freezing cold it was and how much snow was falling.. we were soo tired and cold sooo soo cold.  the walk was only a block in the dirty snow road  but it felt like miles of snow that we had to walk through... i was so lost and out of it.. i stopped layed down and made a snow angel.  i went to bed after i changed all my wet drippy clothes and  fell asleep around 230.    around 430... i hear banging on the door it was dave.. still soo drunk  he had just gotten home... we were surprised and all shaken up... the whole ground was white... everything around us was white... pure sleets of white... it was like heaven.. so we all got up.... put on our coats... and went outside took pics and that was it... gosh when i woke up.. my car had been devirginized by the snow....  MY BABY HAD NEVER SEEN SNOW BEFORE!   my car: my baby  has never seen snow... and for the first time... it was practically buried under a 1/2 foot blanket of snow!  it was a wonder to see! 

i couldn't go home that day... it was just soo thick and white and gloomy...  i waited til later... and still couldn't go home...  so i made a snowman with clayton that was taller than me!   it was so much fun, we had our first snow day together!.. i even missed work that day. and  my group meeting for the oral presentation i had to give in english clas.. gosh i flet so bad...  the meeting was at my house too... and i couldn't make it cuz i was having a snow day.   soo sad.   

i finally got back home an hour before school started so i just met up with my group members b4 class... =).. that was my snow day experienece... i loved it to death!  

well its a tuesday night  and lil sarrine is supposed to be finishing up her paper. hehe well its doen i just gotta print it.  updates... i', <3-ing school to the half a millionth power,     i just really gotta spend more time time studying and reading,.. yups damn.. im letting work and sleepiness get in my way when i shouldnt let it.

 on the other hand, i am completely happy withe the choices i have been making lately.  I have Clayton by my side. he really does make me smile.  for all these years i have been single, he surely makes up for relationships i havent had.  although i dont have that million dollar FAKE smile, he's my reassurance that a $50 dollar smile like mine is just as beautiful.  its soo soon in the relationship, but i can definitely say that a part of me has already fallen in love with him.   lol  sadly i am no longer the LIL'one i had used to be and part of me still is, but i am now... ungratefully, a lil monkey that does tricks...hehe.. weird huh?  its something u have to be around the both of us to understand.   haha " bong bong bong"    i laugh now, but its sooo annoying when it's really happening.  don't get it? just ask.. haha  i don't want u to assume anything.

gosh and having my work where it is, im loving the fact i get to meet all these ppl out of the blue and be able to carry convos with them.... hmm the road is going great.  & about lettie, hehe now she's my "sis"  she stopped by work  while i was on shift and she was on her way to work.. she was soo SWEET .. she thought about me and dinner.. haha... she brought me a Supreme chicken taco from del taco!  she really loves me and i love her. hehe    aww but she remembered and thought of me... hehe    that was a good dinner!  thanks lettie- sis!

 i talked to oscar last night... that was just a relief to talk to him.  he also made me smile inside.  i continue to wish him well he's been great to just be able to call and talk to me.  i just hope he knows  im here to talk WHENEVER he needs.  well why not some ask?  well its all cuz we're friends and that's what friends are here for.   we are EACH OTHER's MISSING SLICE OF PIE.  in weird ways, we do complete each other.  we just weren't meant to carry on the relationship in other ways.   sound weird, but it's all ok for me.  im happy where i am at now becasue of him and im sure he'll do fine again with the life he's living. well that's that for now...  as long as his PSYCHOpaths stay in control & don't get too out of hand... =)

time to eat my usual late dinners  ... all of ya'll know where  to reach me when u have the chance.

lol.. ok i am finally back.    gosh it took me a while to eat those noodles.. lol .. well  that day  on my previous entry, i  just got caught up  with talking to my mom.

anyways,  its been 3 and a half weeks since i have met clayton.  for soem reason i feel so comfortable around him.  according to lettie, we have a love-hate relationship... and i really think  we do. we have our lil disagreements be we are both there to laugh it out in the end.  gosh  my mom even has the likings for him. and my sis has even invited him to the bbq.  i love being able to just lie there in bed and have him on the other line of the phone. he's doing all the talking and im listening which is  just fine. i get all trapped listening to him speak.  he speaks of much informing things and it isnt at al boring i always have questions in the end.. but hes able to answer it all.  the way  he tells stories is just great. sometimes  i feel that my life compares nothing to his but its ok i still have years ahead of me to learn and experience things.... i really  do feel that i have known clayton for so long. 

last friday, october 1st, was letties birthday,  she turned 19  and there was a lil gather ing  at her house.  having not slept the night before,  i  didn't handle the booze so well.   not that i vomitted or anything extreme.... i just wasnt feeling so fly.  i felt so heated up  and quezy...  but clayton was there to support me and keep me on my feet.  he didnt realize that he started me with the woozieness..   i was fien til  i sat on his lap int eh chair and he started to rock me back on forth.   and then i had completely lost it and  i couldnt feel my toes... i got soo scared and he held me up so close against him.  i felt so relieved and safe with him there  it was so comforting i had him in my arms that night.  but before it all, when i had first arrived, clayton had thought i was mad and upset at him for something, so when he went to get more booze with letties greg,  he returned with a sticky hand, you know one of those from the quarter machines?   well that was that... i htougth he was such a big kid that moment.  but he told me to go by his jeep so we walked there together and he had a pink rose waiting for me.   that was soo sweet but not needed. i told him i was   fine i just needed sleep   but i thanked him for the rose.   and  that was that.  til this day we still talk and want the presence of the other.  .. he's  my clayton  now my big bay. hehe

today's entry isn't going to be like all the other days.  funny huh?  well this time i have something worth talking about. =)

i don't know how to hit of this little entry or start talking about it but here it goes... as corny as i always am.

so as u guys all know, i work at arrowhead bagel co.  and i'm loving it!  yes i surely am  i couldn't ask for better people and management to work with.  i do work with a little miss : Lettie.  she's the sweetest ever and quite soem role model. anyways... for the past 2 weeks she's been telling me about her brother and how she wanted me to meet him and  just little this's and that's.  so this past monday, i had the courage to go back home with her and i met her brother clayton.  i didn't know what to expect all these days and  i just didn't know what to think of myself.  but i did it... and the outcomes turned out great.   better than any of my expectations if i did have any.  but yes.. clayton's a very sweet guy,  he's charming.  i even met their lovely parents.. the first night and i meet their parents!  hehe    they are surely a loving sweet family. very loving in fact.  i had a great time that night just laughing and getting to know lettie better as well while meeting her brother in the same night.  that was quite some experience.  we had dinner in the area with the three of us.  and surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all.  we were laughing, cracking jokes and just  enjoying ourselves.  we went back to their parents' and clayton taught me how to play pool. that was neat... i dont htink i ever played pool before.   well remembering it all now,  lol we didnt even finish the game.  he had one ball left and i had three ... he was going soo easy on me.  ok brb   paused at 4.38.   i gotta get soem noodles! yummm