SUICIDALxromance__X's Xanga

yayyyy

Thu, 15 May 2008 19:36:42 GMT

i remembered my password finally [[:

damn..

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:38:31 GMT

4 years already...

i remember everything as if it were only yesterday...

=/.

we miss you bbygirl

we love you.

R.I.P

anyone else feel like everyones dying, or leaving, or just dissappeared?

dont get me wrong. i love the people that are in my life now..

but it doesnt mean i dont miss the others that used to be here...

blahhh

=/.

growing up sucks.

blahh.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:41:05 GMT

Someone just wanna tell me why everything is happening so fast?

like really.

i'm a senior.

and it seems like just yesterday i was a freshman.

this is really ridiculous..

i always thought i couldnt wait to graduate..

and i really dont feel that way anymore.

i'm scared...

think of all the friends i wont ever talk to anymore.

its terrible...

at least i'll always have brooke. she is probably all keeping me going, i love my best friend. more than anything in this world.

nothing and nobody is better than her. i promise..

and i decided.

i want to start a fund.

for EVERY child who is abused by their parents..

and it will be in rememberance of ashlyn.

speaking of..

today is her 19th birthday...

her GOLDEN birthday..

she isnt here to celebrate it..

she isnt here to graduate and walk with her class..

thats why i'm starting that fund.

is because she should be,

she was an AMAZING person.

and we all miss her very dearly.

Happy Birthday Bbygirl.

we miss you..

oh shit

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 03:23:41 GMT

nigga.

www.millersalbums.com

code: 74734wlymer

go look at my senior pictures?

a lot has been happening.

and i'm scared for the future.

me and brooke stopped being friends,

but now i think things are going to get better?

idk.

its just hella lame that nothing is the same anymore.

none of my friends that should be here are.

the love of my life isnt here.

nothing is going right.

=/.

i miss my life from a year ago.

more than anything in this world.

bitch nigga

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:33:27 GMT

shiiit.

so i guess not a lots been going on.

school started,

karen waple is taking my senior pics, i'll post em after i take em and get em nshit.

&&been hangin out with alissa a lot.

hung out with brooke and joey last night.

i realllllllly miss hangin out with brooke

other than that.

nothings been going on.

i know theres like 5 guys that like me.

but i dont know.

i dont see myself being ready to deal with all the drama thats going to come with me finding a new boyfriend.

just cause theres already enough drama, i dont wanna drag anyone else into it.

blahhhhhh.

FUCK YOU VINCE FALBO

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 04:27:15 GMT

~~9-23-06~~

thats right, were done.

on thursday nights, my parents have a meeting to go to.

so they leave vince with david (my step dads) car, so he can drive home from work.

his class got over at 9:45ish...so i expected him home around 1015ish...

11 o'clock rolls around..still no phone call...nothing.

so david takes my moms car and drives down rock looking for him.

he gets to his job, and davids car is still there, with all of his shit in it...

its 319.

and still, no phone call...

so basically, i've been cheated on...again.

it hurts..

it hurts so bad i cant even cry...

blah.

so...you can say i told you so brooke...

you were right, i should've listened to you.....

i'm sorry for things he said to you.

iloveyou.

and it would be nice if you would get ahold of me in some way...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:51:05 GMT

sooo...

vince has a new job.

at infonxx.

yeah.

he works from 2-10 right now.

then in two weeks when his training is done he'll be working from 3-11.

gay.gay.gayyyyy.

i have no life.

so today.

i sat at home...

played guitar hero for 4 1/2 hours.

and layed on the couch.

yeah.

shoot me much?

ohwell.

i'm happy he has a job.

even if i wont see him a lot.

gaygaygay.

anywho.

enough about that.

anyone looking for a babysitter?

i need something to do.

eeesh. almost 2 more hours till i can go get vince.

this makes me a happy camper.

killme.

comment me if you happen to stumble upon this.

deuces.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Thu, 03 May 2007 16:08:38 GMT

i miss you...

i miss you so badd.
i cant wait to be in your arms tomorrow.

Quotes for you my darling;;vincent falbo <33

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 19:55:23 GMT

Dear Vincent,

The Love Of My Life
<3

You've taught me what it feels like to
be hurt and what it feels like to be loved,
and what it feels like to have the greatest
thing in the world standing right next to you.

& love is needing someone. love is putting
up with someone's bad qualities because they
somehow complete you.

if you`re getting pushed away ;; don`t hold on tighter.
letting go when you`re getting pushed is the only way.
he will feel what it`s like without you.
even though it`s the hardest thing to do, do it for him.

when you can`t stop smiling after you
talk to him, & you still get butterflies
in your stomach & that huge smile across
your face everytime you see him..that
tells you that he`ll always be something to you

We picked up things from each other.
Random phrases & stupid habits.

You have to admit that we've changed each other.

i know im not easy to understand
i know i keep a lot inside, & i know
i'm not the easiest person to read
but thats okay, you know. cause
even though theres a lot about me
you'll never know, theres a hell alot
more of me you can learn to love

Let's be one of those cliche couples;
the ones who hold hands in line,
kiss each other in the hallway,
& make everyone insanely jealous.

People say highschool is about getting an
education and getting into a good college to
succeed in life. Well, to me, highschool is about
making memories and good times that will last forever.

Don`t settle for the one who kisses your ass.
Wait for the one who pushes your buttons & pisses you
off on a daily bases. Love isn`t suppose to be easy..
It`s suppose to be worth it.

i'm a mess and my room usually is too. i laugh at the stupidest things and i'm known for saying the wrong things at the wrong times and sometimes i cry for no reason and yeah i get jealous sometimes but that's who i am - take it or leave it.

What's so cool about teasing?
What's so cool about cheating?
What's so cool about fighting?
What's so cool about drugs?
What's so cool about drinking?
What's so cool about rumors?
Every night someone cries cause they were teased.
Every night someone cries cause their bf/gf is cheating on them.
Every night someone cries cause they're in a fight.
Every night someone cries cause their friend died of drug overdose.
Every night someone cries cause their little brother was killed by a drunk driver.
Every night someone cries cause they had a rumor spread about them.
1/2 of those people will look to suicide for an answer.
Do you wanna be the reason?

I don't want you tell me I'm beautiful
I want to see it in your eyes
I don't want you to hug me
I want you to hold me
I don't want you to say you love me
I want you to prove it to me
And I don't want you to break my heart
I want this to last

The biggest mistake you can make
Is to drift apart from someone
Who you once had the best
Times of your life with.

I forgot about you for a while, but then I saw you again in my mind, just instantly flashed back to the time when I thought that we were happy; I know I`ll never hold you like that again.

a good friend remembers what we were
& sees what we could be

what you have done is the past. & you alone
get to determine what your future will be.
you are not your past. you are what is possible
for you. own this truth & go foward in your
life. forgive yourself, & others will be able
to forgive you

sometimes,even when your having
the time of your life, you cant help
but to stop && think about how
much you miss the l[old times]

the only truly painful goodbyes are the ones
that are never said and never explained.

what you don't know can't hurt you,
it's what we suspect that screws everything up

Did you ever notice that there is always that
particular line in that certain song, that always
stands out in that certain way. And reminds
you of that one person?

if there's just one piece of advice i can
give you, it's this - when there's something
you really want, fight for it, don't give up
no matter how hopeless it seems.

I still remember the moment I looked in your eyes,
for the last time. That one little memory still has the
right amount of love to make me cry.

Love -- doesn`t mean
you`ll never break up or fight ;
it means you`ll always get
back together & make it right

The last time you broke my heart
I thought I was through, I thought I`d
never love you the same again & I
believed this was true, but then you
looked in my eyes & the second
your eyes met mine I knew that you were
worth loving just one more time.

when I`m not around you, I have so many thoughts,
so many doubts of things that could go wrong,
but then I see you & you give me a kiss & put
your arms around me, you make all the thoughts
go away. my muscles soften & i can relax..
there`s nothing like that moment. where everything
just feels good & I don`t want to let go.
you`re everything & you don`t even know it.

never give up on me, I will never give up on you.
you`re everything I need,
oh, just look at what we`ve been through.

You`re the smile on my face,
the twinkle in my eyes,
the prayer in my heart, &
the butterflies in my stomach.
You`re the best thing about me.

it will always be me & you. cause to
me; you`re everything I`ve always needed.
& that`s the kind of love you just can`t let go of.
you`ll always be able to have me & that`s
something that I can promise you. just
being near you for awhile is enough.

& in the end ; love has nothing to do with how big your engagment ring is, or how many roses he gets you on valentines day or even how many times he says i love you in a day. All it really comes down to is that he listens to you about your dream wedding & he buys you roses "just because." & even if he only does say it a few times, when he says i love you that you can tell in his eyes that he means forever.

you know you are truly in love
when a simple touch or looks brings
a feeling of utter happiness over your body

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 02:48:30 GMT

so. its been a hella long time since my last entry.

me and vince just spent the whole night fighting...which is poopy.
he means the world to me..and so much more.
i CAN NOT lose him again.
it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it.
he is my one and only.
thats that.

our 6th months is coming up...scary much?
i mean honestly, look back..read my old old old entrys about him && i.
then read the ones from when i went up there this summer..
then read the one about when it was over.
then the one when i got him back.

6 months later...here we are...together...at last.
we still have a lot to work on.

just remember...he is mine, i am his..until the end of time.
9.23.06 until the day i die baby <3