After being a Christian for almost 22 years I have found that I have entered the realm of cynicism. In an ancient greek, School of Cynicism kind of way. Cynicism is one of the most striking of all the Hellenistic philosophies. It offered people the possibility of happiness and freedom from suffering in an age of uncertainty. Although there was never an official Cynic doctrine, the fundamental principles of Cynicism can be summarized as follows:
- The goal of life is happiness which is to live in agreement with Nature.
- Happiness depends on being self-sufficient, and a master of mental attitude.
- Self-sufficiency is achieved by living a life of Virtue.
- The road to Virtue is to free oneself from any influence such as wealth, fame, or power, which have no value in Nature.
- Suffering is caused by false judgments of value, which cause negative emotions and a vicious character.
The ideal Cynic would evangelize; as the watchdog of humanity, it was their job to hound people about the error of their ways. The example of the Cynic's life (and the use of the Cynic's biting satire) would dig-up and expose the pretensions which lay at the root of everyday conventions.
By following this kind of philosophy within my own faith, I find myself questioning many things that the modern church is doing. I am constantly speaking about it and interjecting it into conversations. This seems to make people very uncomfortable. I don't want people to misunderstand me and think that I am searching for mistakes or ills, or that my goal in life is to point out the error of other's ways. But I am not doing anything that Jesus didn't do, meaning pointing out the social ills brought about by the Pharisees and the temple of his day.
For example: One of my biggest issues would be the way that churches "go into all the world and preach the gospel".
As I see it, here’s how “make disciples of all nations” tends to play out in the modern Church:
- Get as many people as we can to show up regularly at Sunday morning worship through advertising, commercials, and word of mouth. No need to leave the safety of the church.
- Once they’re in the doors, get them to be “born again”.
- Once they’re born again, get them to conform to the sub-cultural model of what “Christian” is.
- Once they’ve conformed to the model (e.g. they listen to all the “right” music, read all the “right” books, drink all the “right” drinks, can speak using the “right” lingo, and appear to be “into” worship on Sunday morning), we can then say they’ve been made into disciples.
- Once they’re disciples, they’ve been completely self-actualized and can engage in the work of “making disciples” and the whole grand order starts all over again.
I know this is a shocker, but I’m not entirely comfortable with this mechanism for a number of reasons.
The first reason is that it leads into the notion that if a church is “big” it’s somehow doing a better job at making disciples. I would argue that this is crap. Big churches make clones, not disciples. Dander up yet? Here’s what I mean: By virtue of their size, big churches can’t really know their constituency. Sorry, it’s true. Say what you like about small groups, but I’ve yet to experience a big church small group that was doing anything but trying to make me into a “better” big churchgoer.
But, you know better don’t you? YOUR small group is different. I can hear you constructing your apologies to my argument already. But, before you dot your “i”’s and cross your “t”’s, think about these questions. Does your small group meet regularly? How regularly? Is it regularly enough that you REALLY get to know your fellow small groupers…like, say, 1 or 2 times a week? What do you study in small group? Do you use a devotional, a guide? What does that guide seek to shape you into? Are there predetermined answers to that devotional that you really should be able to get? Is your group even meeting to study the word of God or is it based on an activity that you all enjoy doing? If it is an activity, can that actually be considered a small group or is it more of a bunch of friends getting together to bike, hike, talk, or do crafts? If the people in your small group quit coming to small groups would they be missed? Would you hang out with them even though they no longer see you once a week or less?
Another reason I’m not comfortable with the big church mechanism is that “making disciples” is seen as a linear process with a predetermined endpoint. I’m not sure that this critique can be so roundly asserted at only big churches, though. Small churches seem pretty good at this one too. If the making of a disciple is a linear process with a specific end goal (i.e. a picture of the perfect disciple), then it seems plausible that we should emulate that character. The linear model has a fatal flaw, however. It assumes that a “perfect disciple” is a static construct–in fact, most Christians hold this “end target person” to be Jesus. The thing is, Jesus doesn’t tell us to become Jesus. (at least I can't find it anywhere in the Bible) Jesus doesn’t tell us to become divine. Jesus tells us to be disciples, followers, dynamic creatures whose hearts’ desire is the kingdom of God.
Jesus tells us to be people of direction, people of pursuit.
This is a pretty uncomfortable thing for the church entrenched, sub-culture worshiping, Christian music listening, drug-free, rich, Christian. Here’s why: Being a disciple doesn’t require you to find a place of peace, it requires you to find a place of war and be peaceful. Being a disciple doesn't mean you will be financially stable, it requires you to be giving in order to see the works of heaven fulfilled on earth. It requires you to find a place of of hurt and be comforting. It requires you to find a place of darkness and be light. Disciples aren’t necessarily the ones who’ve “achieved holiness”; disciples are the ones who PURSUE holiness. A disciple is a traveler. A disciple seeks answers rather than bears answers.
Disciples are people who are hurt and broken and imperfect and seek God within that.
That’s uncomfortable. I don't know if I even have it all figured out in my head yet. Frankly, I’d love nothing more than to sit around in an upper-middle class haven and just, you know, be holy and crap. But, it doesn’t work that way. I’m not sure they’re telling us that in big churches. And now that I think about it, I’m not so convinced I’m hearing it in little churches either. Now, I do use the terms modern church as a large mass and I know there are churches out there not teaching this and I know that it is possible to build relationships within a large church (harder but possible) but this is just one of the issues that concerns me.
So I am a cynic. I think it is important to think about things like this and point them out. I am naturally inclined to ask questions, it's the logical person within me, but I am also taught that a good Christian shouldn't questions things like this. That a cynic is a 'negative Nancy' who only delights in tearing people down. This is where my heart and all the things that I have been taught, collide. Should we not questions our churches, call pastors into accountability, call our brothers and sisters in Christ into accountability, search for better ways to do things, find ways to serve others in an unselfish way, call churches to serve the world?
But I am not all negative. There are some amazing men and women and churches that are doing these things. Who do question these things too and act on them. I admire those people. They see the negative and turn it into a positive.
So my hope is that by talking about this stuff and putting it out in the open, perhaps people will look closer at the things they are doing and make any neccesary changes. I know that questioning these things has definitely changed me for the better and has put into focus the things that really matter, like my family, giving, and missions.
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