*listening to VNV NATION - DARK ANGEL*

Please don't stop me from drinking, its my only joy.... Please don't stop me from smoking, it is my reward. So I can't wait to move to my new apartment, although its kinda small but i bet it's gonna be cozy.

I like to be left alone, to be in my own world, my own dimension, my secret garden, place where i could feign into a angry monster like a hate machine, or imagine I'm a bird flying in a blue dream above the clouds, a crazy philosopher who has crazy thoughts, combining ideas and illusions questioning the mysteries that lies inside every heart of man kind.

Do I sound like a freak ? But I don't think I consider myself an introvert, I just dislike going out bitching bout everyone else, and end up blaming yourself for not doing something productive. Smoke me up and let me hallucinate, it cures a million sadness...

Once i believe in interest above money, i believe that if you love what you do, money doesn't matters much.

I wanted to be an engineer when i was a kid, not knowing what exactly an engineer does.

I wanted to be a pastor or an evangelist when I'm still in high school.

I wanted to be a guerilla, a anarchist when I am dissatisfied with the government.

But most of the time, what we get is not what we wished for. But heck! who cares if it's making you money!

Fuck this shit cuz im not working for peanuts!

As you can see such perversed thoughts and imagination i have. I confessed deeply that i am a disturbed individual myself. Please i beg you not to tell my mom about this. Since no one has ever read my blog i presume, i bear the courage to express my inner feelings and evil thoughts in words and until the day you are READING this, i might be drop dead....

i born with cupid wings, with horns and spikes on my skin, my kept warm but im cold blooded. into this misery world i lay my feet on.. hallowed be thy name the new born son, the Sadist Shadow.