I dont get it Lord, sometimes i want to scream, and be so angry at you for what you are doing. Even though i know all things work out for good in the end, it doesn't take away the fact that i feel like running away from it all. Help me! will you help me? Make things clearer to me! I'm done standing in the dark. i'm finished on trying. You know i hate where i am, sometimes i dream of being somewhere else, someone else, i'm trying to be faithful but its so hard! i never thought it would be this hard. all i can do and think about is screaming. Everytime i get the dirt kicked up in my face it only makes me angrier, i dont know how you remain so calm and forgiving when all the world was against you. I value what you did for me on the cross, not only because you died a sinnless man for me, but of what they put you through, and how they made you feel, and how you felt that no matter what happens, what needs to be done will be done. If only i can get a glimpse of how to live like that everyday. always faithful to your words, patient, so humble even though you knew you could do much harm to those who persecuted you. To have hope in your eyes, and a strength you rely on and glorify that only comes from our father in heaven. "Take this heart of stone, and make it yours", remind me of your suffering so that i could go on striving towards wherever you are leading me. Remind me of the love you gave to all who laughed at you when i become angry. Remind me of the peace you give to the fustrated. Remind me how you were slow to speak when the roman officals mocked you! A call of desperation is screaming silently, waiting for you to show yourself in the shadows that i abide in. Make your move, a sinner is waiting to be rescued to a better place! I will howl in the night until someone comes and all is as it should be. I know He will come and carry me away~                                       -Desperation from down under

Currently Watching Sex and the City - Season Six, Part 2 By Sarah Jessica Parker see related

Can i just say that i cannOOOT wait to go home for break!! to eat GOOD food! wait let me rephrase that..to eat GREAT food! i've been so deprived! its been too long! I"m starting to fantasize about little grains of rice and big kidney beans chasing me saying "Eat meeeeee" "eaaaat  meeee", and finally...along with yams, stuffing, potato salad, cranberry....it will happen!! it just stinks that i wont be gettin home till late due to a stupid recital thats at 5pm! I mean honestly do they want us lose our minds! ugh i'd do anything to not go! well at least my night class is canceled! well, lets be honest i probably wouldn't go anyway! lol i must sound out of my mind right now..but i'm so tired, ive had a headache for a while..so i think i'm going to go to bed..riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... now!