I might not be the best bf a girl like you deserve, but when you tell me that I "don't love you" you really don't know how crazy I think you are. I know I can be mean sometimes, but I think thats the way it gotta be. We fight and shit happens, isn't that normal? You really don't know how much you mean to me, I love you in every ways imaginable. I fuck up all the time and I know that, I call you bad names and crap, maybe I was just mad at that time, or maybe we're just not meant to be forever. Whatever it is, I think it what makes our relationship stronger. Each and everyday we go through so much shit together, but somehow, we find ways to help each other out. Babe I know you deserve soo much better, but just give me one more chance and I swear I won't let you down. Everytime we break up, it's always for some stupid reason, it's either of us getting jealous or just mad at each other. I hate it how "breaking up" is our answer to our every questions. I hope that just goes away and hopefully we just solve it ourselves. Why can't we just trust each other, we both know that we're in love, except that I totally love you more. I hope this won't end soon, I have sooo much love to show you, it's just trusting you then breaking my heart is what f*cking me up. I feel like you like someone else, but everytime I ask you about it, you tell me that I'm the "only one!" I hope that your not lying to me, 'cause that would be gay. Anyways, since this is my last chance, I'ma let everything out and let you do all the work, just don't break my heart..PLEASE. And if you ever do, which I'm hoping you won't, just remember that wherever you go that I will always love you. Sorry for everything and thank you for forgiving me everytime I hurt your feelings.

*I LOVE AMANDA*

Hey everyone, I know I haven't written for a long-ass time so here it is. We have "1" week of school left. This year has been a tough year. It's all good though. I'm at Smith's house right now watching Remington. He's sleeping right now.  Anyways, we are thinking about going to the beach this coming friday, it depends on how the week goes. Anyways, last week was a bitch for me, I had a shitload of hw to turn in and it was hella gay. This week is gonna be easy for me. I only have two class to really attend to and the rest are a piece of cake. Well, that's about it, here are some poems for my baby. We're on our 9th Months Annivesarry!! Isn't that bomb?!! It's been great so here are some poems to show how much I really love her...

Together we set it in a cozy little spot
Safe from the world up above

Then a soothing breath from your lungs
Helped to ignite the flame
On that lonely candle
In the core of my soul

As time passed day by day
Conflicts caused great winds to blow
But you cupped your hands around it
And it just flickered with a brilliant glow

They say that nothing is forever
But I don't believe that's true
That little candle in my heart
Is a loving peace from you

It seems you were sent straight to me from above

Your smile is bright enough to bring the day

Your eyes so blue, I just have to say

There couldn't be anything more perfect in one place

Your beauty is much deeper than just your face

They say love takes time but yet . . . .

It feels as if we've already met

It feels like we were meant to be

Together forever . . . You and Me

I love you so much that words can't explain 
this joy that I have for you.

When I am at the weakest point of my life 
you are there encouraging me to run this race 
because I am not only cause you are there with me.

You are on my mind day and night.

When we are apart I picture you gracious smile and gentle hug.

I can let my feelings out to you and won't regret it 
because no matter what is you are always on my side.

I thank God for sending me someone like you who is precious and loving.

So I can truly say that you are the Angel of My Life!

A passionate night between me and you 
I can't begin to tell you the things I want to do.
First we can dim the lights and get closer.....
No, wait, that's too fast, let's go back
and move a little slower.

I'll kiss your lips that are so soft and sweet,
then move on to your cheek that's so smooth and unique.
Then I'll move right along that little ear of yours...
Whoa... my, my... let me move along your chest...
Uh, oh I missed a spot, let me move back up to the neck
As I move my tongue around and around 
you start to feel it as I go down slowly
and as I kiss your chest your hands go up
...but I'm not finished yet....
I go further down towards your navel... 
As I move down past your waist line I begin to kiss.... 

You are my inspiration
having you in my life
revived my sleeping devotion
You are indeed a special someone

Loving you gives me hope
to free this misery that I coped
in those times I gave up
You came and I stood up

Never will I forget
how you always cheer me up
every time I’m sad
and for that I’m glad

Whenever I’m lonely
You were there for me
keeping my heart alive
with your every smile

I dedicate this poem to you
to show how much you meant
to me I love you
My special someone
 
 
Suddenly I get this feeling
My mind draws a blank
My hands are slightly shaking
My heart begins to race

I feel like I'm losing control
I'm nervous inside and out
I have an unexplainable feeling
I wish I could figure this out

These butterflies inside of me
Keep fluttering all throughout
I thought they were gone for good
I didn't know they could come out

It must be the way
You get to me like you do
The way you make me feel
The way I love you like I do...





On the night I met you,
my heart stoped beating
it froze with with desire,
at what I was seeing.
On this night for us 
that shoud'nt have been,
what lay ahead nobody could see.
You alone started these flames 
of wanting desire,
a million seas couldn't quench the fire.
But love isn't always the easy friend,
you have to sail the storm 
to recieve the love you send.
So till the day comes
that these arms can hold you near,
I'll sail the storms and watch
as the clouds disapear.














 

Well.....

This weekend has been a lot of fun!! Friday I spent the night at Smith's house with other buddies. It was f*cking bomb. Although I didn't get any sleep, we stayed up the whole night. Then the next day, I had to leave at 7 30 so I can get ready and go to San Francisco with my family and attend a b-day party there. I slept the whole time driving to San Fran, I was tired. I got hungry during the drive so I decided to eat pop tarts and cheetos which I got from the friday. Yea, we decided to drive at 1 in the morning to Mc Donalds and get some of their free Big Mac's after 10, sadly and depressingly, they were close when we got there. So we made sure that they were closed by going through the drive-thru thingy and when we we're in front of the cashier window, Peter, the lucky owner of an Aspire started yelling "Fake Money"...I don't think you know whats the whole story behind the Fake Money thing but it's f*cking hilarious!!! We then decided to go from Mc Donalds to 7-Eleven. I got a pop tart and cheetos. That combo is the shit. We then decided to go home, but Peter had to go get some gas, I swear, that guy hasn't filled up his tank in like 3 months!! That damn car just keeps on going and going like the damn energizer battery. Anyways, we got gas and Chong and Peter got back in the car and they were smelling gas. Adam asked who stepped on gas and Chong said, "It's not me..Foo" in his Chinese/French/Spanish/English accent! It was the funniest thing ever!! Right budddie? We then started driving back to Adam's house when Adam suggested that we should go to the road where there is a little bump on the side that could give your car some air time. Peter said why not...so off we go to the bump!! We passed the bump and kept going straight so we can get some speed and some air time. We got into the top of the hill and put on some Rob Zombie as loud as we can. Peter put it on drive and off we go...we reached the 25 mph corner but Peter was going 35, almost 40. We hit the bump and we f*cking flew...imagine that! Getting a goddamn car fly with Julio in it...impossible? Hell no, not in Peter's Aspire. We did that 3 f*cking times and it was the shiiit. It was sooo much fun!! I'm just glad that Peter's Aspire didn't fall apart or I'll be dead by now. We need to do that again, that was sweet. Anyways, that was the party at Smith's house. It was crazy! Saturday came and I had to go to San Fran with my family, it was okay overall just the part that I didn't get any time to hang out with my baby. I got home at around 7. I called Amanda and see if she wanted to hang out. Obviously she said yes, we hanged out at JJ's house. We watched Dodgeball and the first Amityville horror movies. It was pretty bomb. Until she had to go home. Today....I haven't done shit. I've been in my house pretty much the entire day. Except when Amanda asked me if I wanted to go to Heavenly with her so she can show off her f*cking check. That's the only time I saw Amanda today, she asked me if I wanted to come over her house but my mother won't let me. We'll see each other tomorrow anyways so I think it's fine. The worst part is that I don't think I can even call her tonight, my brother is gonna be using the phone so it kinda sucks. We'll take advantage tomorrow, we'll be together all day tomorrow babe so don't be sad!!! I hate it when your sad, you make my life horrible when your sad. Trust me, I'll make it up tomorrow so keep your head up babe! Anyways, I'm gonna miss my baby tonight. We usually talk like every f*cking night and always end at 12. That's like 5 hours a night!! It doesn't get old though so it's all good!! Amanda told me to put some quotes so here they are, hope you like them babe!!

Do you like the way that we kiss?
The fullness of my pastel pink lips
The soft texture created with the help of chapstick
The pause of anticipated excitement
when our eyes lock and time skips
The closeness of intimate contact
The public display
The aftershocks of being kissed this way
The foreplay
The unscripted synchrony in which our heads turn 
The slight touching of tongues
Our chests pressed together
feeling the inhale and exhale of expanding lungs
The sense of soul seduction
The blood rushing
The teasing
The trust involved in lip phuckin
The sounds made as I capture
your bottom lip for gentle sucking
So...do you like the way that we kiss
or shall we try this again?
Comparing notes of oral pleasures
for kissing never felt this good

I love the way you look at me
your eyes so bright and blue,
I love the way you kiss me
your lips so soft and smooth

I love the way you make me happy
and the ways you show you care,
I love the way you say "I love you"
and the way you're always there

I love the way you touch me
always chills down my spine,
I love that you are with me 
and I'm glad you are mine.
 
 
I could tell you I loved you. 
I could tell you you're my life. 
But I won't because I don't think that would be enough. 
Not only do I want to tell you how much I love you, 
I want to show you. 
You are the reason I live, 
the reason my heart keeps beating. 
Without you my life would be over. 
I never knew I could love someone as much as I love and need you. 
Please know I'll never be able to love anyone as much as I love you. 
You're the only one for me. 
And that's the way it will always be. 
Without you my heart would be empty and incomplete. 
Every memory I have of you I treasure. 
Every thought of you is wonderful. 
Thank you for the love you have given me. 
Thank you for the lesson of my life I will never forget. 
Thank you, love of my life. 
 
 
You're the sun that warms my face 
You're the winds that embrace 
You're the calmness the ocean sound brings 
You're the beauty of flowers in the spring 

You've given me hope when I didn't have any 
You've given me forgiveness that I didn't deserve 
You've given me more than I could ever ask for 
You've even given me love when I didn't love you in return 

You are my very best friend 
You are my soul mate to the end 
You are the love of my heart 
I know we will never part. 

So if you ever need me 
Know that I'll be there 
I want to love you the way you have loved me 
I want you to know how much I care 

No matter where I go or what I do 
I'll spend the rest of my life 
Showing how much I love you 

Tomorrow is a very special day!!! It's Amanda's and I 8th Month Anniversary!!! Isn't that that shit? I LOVE HER A LOT!!! I feel kind a bad though 'cause I'm leaving her for a party. If you think thats not cool, then leave a comment and tell me what I should do. It should be a easy decision and just stay and celebrate, but...I dunno, just leave me a comment. Wow, 8 months....I really could not imagine being with her for this long, I thought it was just one of those relationships that doesn't last long. But this is different, only Amanda knows what I'm talking about. Prom, I asked Amanda if she wanted to go to Prom this year but she said NO, isn't that homo? It's cool though, but she's gonna have to go with me next year no matter what, I'm not taking No for an answer...f*ck that! It's gonna be a hella of a night, all of my friends are gonna be there and shit. What am I talking about, thats next year. On the otherhand, Sheets is going to Prom!! Goddamn Sheets, your a f*ckin' heartbreaker. Question for you Sheets, how many hearts have you broken you little biiiitch?  Anyways, I'm proud of Sheets. Hopefully he gets something a little extra after the dance, you know what I mean Sheets. Anyways, I'm watching the playoffs and about to take my damn nap, beating Miguel and Sheets today in basketball is fun. We killed them. Hopefully we get to play them again and prove who's the better team. Anyways, I'm soo excited for tomorrow!! Babe...I could never express to you how much I love you, you mean the world to me and I'm hoping this doesn't end soon. I can't lose you now. I'am madly, deeply in love with you!! I Love you babe and hopefully we get to talk tonight!! I can't wait. Hope you enjoyed reading my entry, if you didn't then F*CK YOU...jk you little biiiiitch.

*I LOVE AMANDA* (8th Month Anniversary Tomorrow...YAYYY!!!)