Its been a year since I posted. WOW.

Funny I was all nervous about moving in with KC.

Things have been smooth. I think 4 years together has smoothed out any issues.

We have been honest and have had a great run so far.

Some things have been difficult to work through, but its worked.

We look toward the future..together

Buying a new house, getting a dog, marriage.. yea he asked me if I would.

I said yes...adventually...now if Christmas brings diamonds, its on

peace, love, and happy thanksgiving, merry CHRISTmas, happy new year and everything else till I end up here again

i eat right, i work out, i get compliments and still i feel like i'm not successful at this gym thing.

i see people at work who buy muffins and pancakes and egg and cheese and they are these waifs or decent looking, great skinned, not a hair out of place people and i seriously want to kick them.

out to dinner this weekend with another couple, KC's eyes fall to his friends wifes cleavage like every other glance, thats so disrespectful to his friend, not to me, but It still makes me angry. what is that? hes not with her or hasnt been or ever will be but she has practically sat her B cups on the table the past couple times we have hung out and KC's eyes are there to devour them. why does that burn the hell out of me. then he lies about even doing it. its tits man, dude i have them, they are awesome and he cant leave them alone, but thats your boy's wife man, EW..

his opinion - i'm jealous. ok i may be a jealous person sometimes, but not jealous OF her. i dont want to be her or have what she has at all. i have a better looking man (in my opinion of course) and have full C's  lol

i hate disrespect. whats my deal, i twist things in my head. i want a new head, its so not fair.

lies, degrading past, filthy males, = one insecure 'jealous' woman..

i wanna be one of you stong girls who fights it with another outlet, but my outlet(the gym - shopping) makes it worse..