Servant_of_Allah's Xanga

Creation and Destruction

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:20:23 GMT

There are so many people who think God doesn't exist simply because the evil they see.

Some people ask me how can there be justice when someones actions are simply a function of their upbringing, which is not under their control.

Some people think the idea of God is simply a psychological construct that resulted from Mankind's collective fear of death.

Did you think there could possibly be a test without any pain and suffering? Heaven and hell in the balance, when everyone is coming from a Eutopia?

You do not believe in either heaven or hell, or God, so what exactly is the point?

Was it all just an accident? Fair enough. But the question is, what of your ideas and your conscious and emotion. It will all fade to dust in the end, amounting to what? A distant memory?

I do not need to prove God to anyone, that is the responsibility of the intellect.

All the order doesn't point to anything, or so they claim. Will I take their word for it. Not really. They are hell bent on convincing other people of their point of view simply because they do not really believe it themselves. But that is ok.

Why are people so damn greedy and insignificant? I like to think it is a function of their meager arrogance and egocentric tendencies. If you give someone an icecream cone, without expecting or wanting anything for them but happiness, you have probably just proven yourself superior to some 99% of mankind.

99% of people are "sons of bitches" as my good friend, an ex-war surgeon from Iraq so kindly put.

I will never claim to have all the answers, or even to understand everything. But if I come to a conclusion without all the facts, I guess I am making a gamble I just cannot afford to make. So how much arrogance would it require for me to bet everything on the assumption that I am correct and can make nothing but sound decisions? Are they more courageous than me? Or are they just foolish?

I guess I may never know.

And I am not a cynic, but when was the last time you bought someone an icecream cone?

Think about that.

Sneaking into God's House.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:08:47 GMT

     I am on a bus. It is pleasantly weathered. I wonder if I should pray on the street or in the Masjid that looms in the distance.

     I get off the bus. I walk. I am faced with closed gates. I always wondered why a Masjid would need locks. Don't the people who locked it know this is God's House, and that everyone is invited?

     As I hop over the gate, I wonder why I am being quiet. My footsteps are scarcely heard. I look at the doors to the carpeted prayer floor, and I sneer at the locks. Don't they know that I am right on time?

     I make my way to the Wudhu area, half expecting the water to be cut off in such a dead and desolate place, but as the water flows over my parched hands, I realize that I had an appointment here after all, whether the guards received the memo, I do not know.

     I make my way back up the steps, and see a door that somehow beckons to me. Ornately carved wood, all with thick heavy chains, except this one. As I reach for the handle, I know that this is my door. I noticed that even though this carpeted behemoth of a room that lays ahead of me must easily be thousands of square feet, the air conditioning is running. There isn't a soul enjoying it except for me at the time.

     I let the cool air spread across me, and the water from Wudhu takes a new meaning. I suddenly have the urge to run and roll about this expanse of a room, but I realize that in God's house, a couple of rakat take precedence.

     I finish my two rakat. As I finish, my slight sickness is weighing down on me, so I just lay there on my back, staring at the cold, empty dome that is this Masjid between Asr and Maghrib. As I lay there, I wonder if anyone has ever been personally invited like me, and I wonder how can such a nice room be abandoned. My thoughts take me back to wrestling tournaments and Abyssinian spear play, and I lament quietly that this Dome has never had such joys take place beneath it.

     The least I could do, is do what any child would do when faced with such a melancholy room. Liven it up. So I began to roll. I just kept rolling and rolling. If you had seen it, you would be sure I was mad, but I hope I wasn't. To my surprise, I couldn't roll in a straight line as I did when I was a child. My shoulders had become far too wide. I started to roll in a broad arch. And to my amazement, when I came to a stop, I was directly in front of the Minbar. Interesting, I thought to myself, considering I began in the exact middle of the room, under the center of the dome. This will give you an idea of just how large the room was, when you realize that I started rolling in a path directly perpendicular from the path which I would have taken if I was trying to reach the Minbar.

     As I stumbled about, I decided to roll head over heels from the center of the room to the Minbar. Afterwards, I pray Asr.

     As I finish Asr, I do a cartwheel only to notice someone else praying in the room. Perhaps the smiles of a child truly act as an invitation to the wary.

     Today. Today was a good day.

     Peace be Upon You.

Hmm...

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:18:47 GMT

You know, looking at the previous entry.. I wonder why I didn't censor it.

Then it hit me, the way someone molds their particular message is up to them. I don't particularly think crude language adds depth to your message, but since it is not my message, I figured I should give it a fair shake, or not put it up at all.

Word.

Don't you wish you could just float along in the ocean without a care in the world?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that..

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 16:28:37 GMT

Wow, a little bit of Immortal Technique goes a long way..

haha.

*Caution* Hardcore for people not used to street hiphop, also unsavory lyrics. The price to be paid in order to see between the lines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb8TQhqeiQQ

Read the Lyrics Here:

Immortal Technique and DJ Green Lantern
Third World mother f--kers!
I'm from where the gold and diamonds are ripped from the earth
right next to the slave castles where the water is cursed
from where police brutality's not half as nice
and makes the hood in America look like paradise
compared to the AIDS-infested Caribbean slum
African streets where the passport's an a American gun
from where they massacre people and try to keep it quiet
and spend the next 25 years tryin' to deny it
I'm from where they cut your hands off if you make a fist
and niggas throw coca cause the job market doesn't exist
except slave labor modern day company store
and peace keeper's don't ever ever come here no more
from where the bombs that they used to drop on Vietnam
Kill us children born deformed eight months before they born
I'm from where they lost the true meaning of the Qur'an,
'cause heroin is not compatible with Islam.
And niggas know that, but throw that poppy seed anyway,
'cause that fool's (?) parachute does not come everyday.
I'm from where people pray to the gods of their conquerors and practically,
Every presidential candidate is a money launderer.
I'm from the only place democracy is acceptable,
Is if America's candidate is electable.
And they might even have a black president, but he's useless,
'Cause he does not control the economy stupid!
Lock and load your gun, where I'm from: the Third World son,
Been to many places but I'm Third World-born.
Guerrillas hit and run where I'm from: the Third World son.
You polluted everything, and now the Third World's gone.
The waters poisoned where I'm from son,
Seven hundred children die by the end of this song.
Revolution'll come, where I'm from: the Third World son.
Constant occupation, leaves the Third World torn.
I'm from where the catholic churches are some racist shit.
They helped Europe and America rape this bitch.
They pray to white Spaniard Jesus, who's face is this
But never talk about the black Pope Gelasius
I'm from where soviet weapons still decide elections.
Military is like the mafia: you pay for protection.
kinda like sex toys, is what the country sells,
And rich white businessmen make the best clientèle.
I'm from where they too pussy to come film Survivor .
And they murder Coca-Cola union organizers.
I'm from where the justice system
(spanish)
cause Rico laws don't apply to the CIA
and mother fuckers make sneakers for a quarter a day
I'm from where they overthrow democratic leaders
not for the people but for the Wall Street Journal readers
from where blacks, indigenous peoples and Asians were once
slaves of the Caucasians and it's amazing how they trained them
to be racist against themselves in a place they were raised in
and you kept us caged in
destroyed our culture and said that you civilized us
raped our woman and when we were born you despised us
gentrified us?????
and crucified every revolutionary messiah
so Ima start a global riot
that not even your fake
anti-communist dictators can keep quiet
fuck your charity medicine, try to murder me
the immunizations you gave us were full of mercury
so now I see the Third World like the rap game soldier
nationalize the industry and take it over!
Lock and load your gun, where I'm from: the Third World son,
Been to many places but I'm third world-born.
Guerrillas hit and run where I'm from: the Third World son.
You polluted everything, and now the Third World's gone.
The waters poisoned where I'm from son,
Seven hundred children die by the end 'this song.
Revolution'll come, where I'm from: the Third World son.
Constant occupation, leaves the Third World drone.

Yeah..

*Edit* (Ok Ok.. I had to do something about that one word.. and there were some blatant mis-transcriptions)

Friday, June 06, 2008

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 07:31:38 GMT

"Forgive your enemies.. but never forget their names..."

Seems the American Army is full of rapists and sodomites.. and they not only commit these atrocities against the peoples of the countries they occupy, rather even their own female soldiers aren't safe.

"May a scourge be released,
the likes of which has never been witnessed;
against those who raise the false flag of democracy.
May justice from the heavens,
rain down on these pigs amongst men,
and may history itself hold them in ignominy."

http://www.alternet.org/waroniraq/31584/
http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/03/07/women_in_military/index.html
http://www.boingboing.net/2004/07/15/hersh-children-raped.html

Yeah, and before you question my use of the word "full" do your homework, somethings are black and white.

-I am sorry, but many things are unforgivable.

The only thing in this world that doesn't discriminate is death itself.. and in some souls the Angel of Death takes pleasure. Sometimes, I am left wondering if "humanity" even deserves the word. Guess what? You may inadvertedly run into these child rapists when you are out to get your cup of coffee. Think about it. You are pretty much surrounded by weak minded individuals who would, by and large, turn into sodomites if societal structures weren't there to threaten them with imprisonment. Read about group psychology and get back to me on that as well.

Anger doesn't fix anything unless it is channeled into a powerful force to redefine your world.

Trans-Afghan Fund

Sat, 31 May 2008 11:47:01 GMT

The search for the reasons and the superiority of one person's good over another's leaves me annoyed and exhausted because whenever I see someone in need of help, it was always a personal issue for me. If I was ever broken without any hopes of redemption I would hope that someone would lend me a hand, and that is why I will lend a hand when I can. I do hope that in the meantime it will keep me from slipping into hell, but when I think about it, trying to live upright is more difficult than people who speak in lofty debates would ever admit. To top it off, even all these "angelic" atheists probably wish there was more to life than the grave, but are too arrogant to admit it. Enough of all that.

Now for my summer distraction!

The Trans-Afghan Fund.

Nothing annoys me more than the misappropriation of hard earned and well given charity monies. It is even more annoying to think that all the people who dump money into charity boxes do so without giving it a second thought and seeing it through. Do not get me wrong, I thank each and every person who gave out of their own to help another, no matter the circumstances. I just wish there was more efficiency to the process and a means from stopping greedy, evil, bastards from usurping the wealth of those who need it the most.

Enter the Trans-Afghan Fund.

Why? Because Afghan women are quite possibly the most victimized people on earth, and to me.. anyone who would harm some of the world's poorest, most exploited people is in need of a trip to the grave... yard.

And everyone who is shaking their heads and fingers, before you give me some holier than thou bullshit about how they can take care of themselves and I am just patronizing.. read up and get back to me on that. Otherwise, I want to see you do something better somewhere else.

The Trans-Afghan Fund is essentially a strategy for routing money directly to the charities that are working on the ground within Afghanistan in an attempt to circumvent the corrupt Bureaucrats who are living it up on millions of dollars of international aid.

And how? Try directly linking donors with the NGO's that are on the ground.

This will hopefully be accomplished by making a database of all the NGO's and what they are trying to do.. then, it will be compiled and presented for donors to pick and choose what they would like to see developed, and hopefully the money will be routed directly to the people working on the ground. This is obviously a very interpersonal idea that will require at least one trusted person to act as a kiosk within Afghanistan, and it will require effective book keeping. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this all happen. So this is the rough overall game plan... and below is the proposal to be fulfilled with this funding construct.

Abstract

Afghanistan is one of the world’s poorest, most destitute countries. Other than a growing need for basic health care, Afghanistan is in dire need of an educational system overhaul as well as a human rights construct that can help guarantee basic human rights for its population. The scope of this proposal will be an attempt to approach its lack of health care from a managerial perspective as well as address the growing need for protection for the weaker, marginalized sector of its population-namely women. Afghanistan has one of the highest maternity death rates on earth, and this is due to the compounding of the abuse of underage girls whom are forced into pubescent marriages, lack of education on woman’s issues, and the lack of facilities to accommodate pregnant woman.

Analysis

The main problems which will be addressed through this brief proposal are:

-The lack of health care facilities and workers specifically available for the aid of woman.

-The lack of effective education for the woman’s population concerning proper health care practices.

-The misappropriation and general lack of funds.

Most of these problems are interdependent, and therefore will be addressed fluidly rather than individually.

Strategy

The lack of health care facilities and workers can be blamed on the lack of funds and general poverty of the Afghan nation. Afghanistan’s GNP was primarily made up of the products of the opium trade until the Taliban abolished it in the mid nineties, and today the UN crack down on the growth of opiates as well as the instability caused by war has left Afghanistan in a state of emergency poverty and inability. To compound these basic factors that led to the horrible health care picture is the fact of misappropriation of much of the international aid that is sent to Afghanistan for health care every year by corrupt officials. So, instead of having a solution in sight, Afghanis suffer more every year. The segment of the population which has arguably seen the most harm due to the ongoing circumstances is the female population. Abuse of woman is endemic, there is no government or even societal construct to protect most of Afghanistan’s women, and many of them succumb to abuse and early pregnancy every year, not to mention an exponentially growing rate of suicide.

In order to meaningfully address these problems, there are a few main factors that need to be changed. The first is the question of available resources. Much of the aid Afghanistan receives every year is from private philanthropic organizations. The funds that are sent towards Afghanistan easily total in the millions. My proposal to affect their situation positively would be to coordinate the different private NGO’s as well as UNICEF and UN’s development project by making a central locus of information that would be unencumbered by government corruption because it will draw its information about the health care picture directly from the affected population. This will be detailed below. The second tactic that will be used will be through feedback which will also be gleaned from the present hospitals which are over booked as well as schools which are privately funded by donors from all over the world. The third and final technique which will be employed will be the education of woman at the community level through the donor funded women’s schools which have been set up by organizations such as RAWA.

Directing and Organization Concerns

Obviously, in order to circumvent government corruption, I will have to position myself effectively between the numerous NGO’s and International Aid Organizations in a position of authority. This will be accomplished by making human connections on the personal level by contacting every person of concern in every known organization with this proposal, and offering them access to my database of information which I will build through my connections with the various organizations, augmented with the Afghan Ministry of Health’s own reports. Since most non-profit organizations are truly interested in doing the most good, when they see that they can do more good more efficiently by inter-cooperation my proposal will have a high probability of success. Once I have gained the trust of the various organizations, I will proceed to inquire each organization about the problems that they seek to address, which will be another source of leads as to where and what is happening on the ground level in Afghanistan to alleviate the issues which are covered in the scope of this proposal. Obviously, there are different personal opinions as to what should take precedence when monies are being allocated, but I will effectively draw the opinion of the Afghan women directly through a radical and underhanded direct approach.

This approach will draw information about the specific problems faced in each area through contact with women in the numerous donor funded schools which are being operated far and wide within Afghanistan. These schools seek to empower woman through literacy. These schools are extremely relevant to this proposal because they act as a point of direct access to the Afghani women population. These schools will serve as a direct link between my organizational efforts and the target population of consumers, namely Afghan woman. At the same time, the woman will be educated on the ground level through careful dissemination of information through the staff of these schools. I will hold conferences in each region every month during which the staff will be given cash bonuses along with monthly situation reports on what my organization will be attempting next, and any issues or concerns brought from the woman in each school will be addressed accordingly. Since the donor funded women’s schools are very small, and many of the woman cannot read, the acquisition of information from the woman in each village will be done in an informal, casual conversational manner; and the teachers will be instructed in these methods before hand. After a picture of the needs and concerns of each region are enumerated, I will attempt to coordinate the movement of funds and resources to address these concerns by establishing clinics in the most severely underserved areas first. Also, woman in each of these schools will be educated on why youth marriage is a danger to themselves and their daughters, as well as the proper use of contraceptives and humanitarian outlets in the case of abuse or emergency.

Control

If this proposal begins effectively, slowly we will lead by example. I am modest in my expectations as to where Afghanistan will be in the next year or even five years, but the effects of inter-coordination between the various organizations and their monies towards health care in Afghanistan cannot be underestimated. Every dollar saved from governmental corruption and misappropriation is another dollar that can and will be used towards the establishment of health care facilities and the education of woman. All the organizations concerned will be given access to situational reports and developments made possible by their joint contributions toward my organizational design, and each organization will be given the option to give voice to any concerns or ideas that they may have. Anything effective will be adopted, inefficiencies will be discarded. Also, general upkeep of the clinics established will be accomplished through joint funds. Most humanitarian organizations are willing to devote at least a percentage of their funds towards on going, established humanitarian practices; in this case clinics and educational constructs.

Conclusions

The details of actual construction of clinical practices in Afghanistan are beyond the scope of this proposal because the most pertinent issue that faces Afghanistan is the appropriate use of the resources that are available. This proposal seeks to offer a solution to effectively circumvent government corruption through shrewd and efficient managerial techniques. The applicability of such a design cannot be denied.

Any ideas are fair game. Salaam.

It is time to make some enemies..

Sat, 31 May 2008 11:24:31 GMT

I was questioned as to why I choose to spend my time trying to teach Afghani girls to read when there are people the world over who need help. I guess it isn't as simple as choosing your battles because this is a bit personal, and I am willing to admit that.

I was having a debate with a guy about the essence of doing good, and he proposed to me the idea that Muslims are just like any other group of people, driven by greed. He told me that aren't atheists who choose to do good while not expecting any heavenly reward superior to Muslims who do good out of fear of hell and desires of paradise? I thought about it for a while and he continued by saying that it is too easy to do good if you think your reward will be infinitely greater than what you are giving. I was sort of confused in a way, because I really never thought of it that way. While it is true that Muslims probably believe they will get recompense for all the good they do, and it may be the key driving force behind them doing good, could the atheist who does good for the sake of "good" truly be superior because he expects nothing in return?

In reality, I have yet to think of an answer that I think is superior to his line of questioning, but roughly I believe that even an atheist who thinks that they will turn to dust still does good for a reason. Be it a feeling of fulfillment or the idea that they will make the world better for their progeny, I really don't know that they are superior simply because they don't count on heaven or hell to achieve their balance. I mean, just because he doesn't believe it doesn't mean it isn't there. Just like people who achieve out of pride as opposed to hopes of profits. The hopes of profits exist in everyones mind, or else the intention will never be their to begin with. Even the atheist must think his action in the way of good is better than apathy or working in the way of evil. The question is, does it really matter why?

To me it does. Because Islam is all about intention. If you do good to end human suffering, or if you do good to be seen of people, it makes a difference. This is why I really do not know what to say of someone who does good just because they want the "greater good." But isn't this really subjective? What is the definition of this greater good? And why is it so pertinent to be fulfilled in these "angelic" atheists?

Blah. Anyways, this whole thing is intriguing and annoying at the same time, because I still wonder how many angels really exist out there. I am probably not one of them.

Intricacies..

Mon, 26 May 2008 20:26:41 GMT

Wow. It has been a while.

I would like to think I have learned quite a bit, but in retrospect I cannot be sure.

First of all, I HATE multi level marketing type plans for collecting profits. They seem relatively annoying. This is why I would like to apologize for using this site as a kiosk for an experiment I was doing with Yuwie. Yuwie could work in theory, but I don't like the saturation of unsavory ads that are essentially that on which the site itself is built. On top of that, I mean.. there are other ways of seizing capital.

Anywho, everyone who signed up, thank you for your concern and support. I will have better ideas, with more prolific potential in the near future. I just need to get some stuff worked out.

In the meantime.. Hmm... I would say something of meaning but I really am just roasted from trying to figure the different angles of how to channel massive amounts of charity monies toward a significant ends.

I'll fill in whoever cares later.

Asalaamalaikumwarahmatullah.

And then it hit me....

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:33:52 GMT

I am not sure how many people know about my plan to make a self-sufficient medical core of doctors in the future... but yeah, I intend on figuring out a way to invest monies in such a way that it will generate enough wealth to sustain a doctor's without borders organization that will actually truly be without borders.. no matter how dangerous the environment.

So. In short, I need to make money to apply it where I think it could effectively help the most people.

Enter this interesting new gimmick called "Yuwie." Okay, Yuwie is a social networking site much like Myspace but it claims to give much of its advertising monies back to the users. To make a long story short, if someone referred enough people to Yuwie and built an intricate enough web of people underneath them, they could generate a substantial amount of income. Now, do not get me wrong, you would have to build a pretty huge number of referrals inorder to amount to any sizeable amount. If you were net-savvy enough, you could potentially generate a few thousand a month.

Now, a few thousand isn't enough for what I am planning, but to me, as much money as I can funnel away from unimportant things to more serious endevours, the better. So I am asking you to join Yuwie under my referral tree. And guess what? I am going to use all the money for charity. Hopefully self-sustaining charitable practices. The bigger it gets, the better. I don't think it will be anything huge, but who knows? And guess what else? I will keep anyone in my referral tree in mind when I have the money to use, and I will outline how and where I will use it... so if you have a sweet idea, you could get your hands on it as well.

How does that sound?

So, check it out, if nothing else... pass on this message to other people. Get charitable, get efficient.

http://r.yuwie.com/efficient

Asalaamalaikumwarahmatullah.

Slipping...

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:30:45 GMT

I've watched you wither for a long time,
and as your soul slips away,
I wish I could trade places with you;
so that I wouldn't have to stay.

Because the longer I lay witness,
to the life you've left behind,
I find myself wondering;
what will I do after your gone.

Perhaps it is selfish of me,
to want to go first;
just so that the pain I feel,
won't get any worse.

So I am weeping for you,
and the friend I once knew,
and the times we shared;
because I knew you cared.

And even though I wish I had left first,
I've come to terms with the idea,
because it would be much worse,
if I knew you had to endure this.

Isn't it interesting that most of humanity falls somewhere between wanting to live forever and not wanting to endure the death of a loved one? Perhaps some of the more thoughtful people whom feel they have come to accept death even secretly wish they would die before any of their loved ones. But when you think about it, isn't that just selfish of you? Just because you don't want to be heart broken you wouldn't mind the idea of all those who care about you enduring the pain of your loss...

So in reality. I guess you should pray that you all die at the same time.. or you all live forever. Both can be arranged, but you all will endure death at one point or another, so if you want to hold on to them forever, then you have to realize the only way this will ever happen is in the afterlife... so get creative.