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| HAPPY 21ST JESS!!!Hope it's a great birthday! I love you girly!! Leaving tonight, be gone til Thursday night. I can't wait. A couple days away will help me a lot. Later my loves. | | |
| Heartbroken And it's all my fault. I knew better than to think anything could ever come of this. But I lowered my defenses, and look at where it got me. Same place as usual. I give up on love. It's not real. Doesn't exist. Just an urban legend like so many other things. Good to know. | | |
| Whatever I give the fuck up. You've finally broken me. Are you happy now? Does it make you happy to see me crumble? To finally stop fighting and succumb to the fact that I will never be anything? It should--you worked long and hard to make sure that it was beaten into my brain. So, congratu-fucking-lations, you finally succeeded in destroying my will to do anything. Step forward and accept your prize. Don't be shy. Revel in this moment and anticipate what comes next. While you're at it, don't forget to kick me while I'm down, add insult to injury and all that. Make sure I never feel hope or have faith in myself ever again. Make sure I never even think of doing such. Cuz we all know that I am not meant to be happy or be anything. Dreams don't come true, and anyone who naively thinks otherwise is on something, right? Well, thanks to you I have finally realized that. You should be proud of yourself. Asshole. | | |
| FreedomI quit my job Tuesday and feel so much better than I have been. Sure, I'm bored as mess all the time, but hey--I'm off the Vistaril for the time being. And that, my friends, kicks ass!!!!!!!!!! :D:D | | |
| What's the worst he could say? I took a chance and put myself out there for someone that I used to be close to, but whom I had drifted from in recent months. Shania says, "Jen, think about it. What's the worst he could say? You're amazing, and if he can't see that, then fuck him. You don't need him." I mean, it's not like I asked him on a date, I just asked him to hang out on Friday. But, his answer was less than encouraging. "I'll have to see." What the Hell is that?! Whatever. What's the worst he could say? The worst he could say would be "no". The worst he could say would hurt because, in spite of it all....I still like him. Even though he pisses me off and frustrates the fuck outta me, he's also one of the only people who can make me smile when I feel like giving up. And, the harder I try to move on and find someone new, the harder the gravitation leading to him gets. I dunno what the hell to do. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
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