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| Just so you know... I'm still alive. | | |
| Damnit, Tyler, don't read my Xanga if you don't like it. :[
:] | | |
| I hate Lake Forest.
I hope I "accidentally" drown in my pool or get hit by a car. | | |
| Another short entry...
A promise is a promise and you shouldn't make them unless you intend to keep them. Truthfully, no, I didn't expect him to keep it, but if he knew, which he did, that he wasn't going to keep it, he shouldn't have made it. I'm tired of having my promises and my trust broken. And now he's done it. Ruined everything I spent all year on... Friends, a boyfriend, grades, everything. The odds that I'm here by the end of the summer are slim. And that's sad, and this is sad. It's sad that my dad loves his "addictions" more than he loves me. It's sad that MY life is being uprooted because of HIS actions. It's sad that someone can't keep a promise they made TWICE to their own daughter. It's sad to know that you've had alcohol, drugs, and gambling picked over you again and again and again. It's sad that I called my dad over forty times last night only to discover he'd gotten a DUI and the rental car was impounded. It's sad to know that not even THAT will stop him. It's sad to know that he won't say sorry either because he isn't or because he has too much pride. It's sad to realize that your whole life has been sad. | | |
| Short, delayed entry...
06.23.06
It's better to stay home and drink all day than go out and drink all day. Driving under the influence is dangerous to not only yourself, but to others. And, you know, it stops hurting after a while, you condition yourself to not care and learn to expect the worst, if only to keep yourself from crying. So many wasted tears, so much wasted make-up, so much wasted TIME, and for WHAT!? Nothing. I thought Wednesday could have been a breakthrough, but I was so wrong. I find that all I can do is try to do nice things. I'm starting with The Shawshank Redemption and then, I don't know... Something else. Maybe one day when Mike's at school, I'll pull weeds. And then on a Monday or Tuesday go to the movies with my dad. Do dishes, keep my room clean, put away dishes, offer to do laundry, keep my bathroom clean. Small, thoughtful stuff. I don't want to move, Mike's basically all I have left, now that I don't have an iPod. I wish Rich would just be responsible and get me the damn money. He has a job, I don't. I almost have my share of the money, apparently he doesn't. In my opinion, I'm being generous with my deal, I could make him pay all $250 but I'm not, because I'm too nice. My iPod wouldn't have gotten stolen from me, which is why I'm making him pay at all. And I'm not letting ANYONE borrow my new iPod except Mike. And he has his own iPod. Sooo... I want an iPod really bad. | | |
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