caught up in confusion of emotions... but can't decide which one should surface...  so i shove them all inside...  locked in a chest never to surface... throw away the key.  so no one can see...   if only i could...  "take everything from the inside... and throw it all away... cuz i swear it's the last time that i trust myself with you..."  still resonating in my mind... i feel so twisted inside...  what's real and what's not?... who am i to you?...  do i even matter?...  do you see me at all?...  still hurting inside...  why do i let you get to me?...  i come undone.  but always i pick myself up.  because i deserve more...  atleast i think i do...  makes no difference.  i always smile... but i just don't know if that smile will ever be real again...

should have... could have... would have...  answers that will never be answered.  what could be seen as the right path...  no point in it...  count the pieces of a mixed up puzzle.  maybe then, can you understand.