Home to me is no longer Iowa, or even California. It has become Colorado. I haven't even experienced winter there yet, but somehow it feels bearable since I'd be around friends that I shared the struggles and the triumphs of our spiritual growth during camp.

My "bible chapter to live by" since I've gotten back has been Col. 3. A camper of mine sent me a letter with some verses from the 2nd chapter and I ran over into the 3rd chapter because I was intrigued. It was at once convicting and uplifting. I hadn't been living my life for Christ since I got back. I still am struggling to. I'm haven't been looking for ways to serve others like I felt compelled to daily at camp. At least my focus is slowly regaining it's Colorado spirit of servanthood and love. Seems like God is saying, "FINALLY!" and patting me on the back with each verse I read.

My memory verse for the week:
Col. 2:20-23
"Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations--
'Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,'
Which all concern things which perish with the using--according to the commandments and doctrines of men?
These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh."

I've often tried to explain my aversion to traditional religions--such as Catholicism. I see the traditions as self-imposed religion, false humility, etc. I don't find their regulations and traditions in the bible, so why impose extra things on your life. I want to strip it down to the pure freedom of Christ's love. I want to love him so much that reading his word, obeying, and living out his love come natural. I want to renew my mind, throw off the chains of religion and of worldly peer pressure and "ordinances" as the King James calls the regulations.

In addition the other regulations I've felt bound to includes drinking. Granted I don't get drunk, but I do--did--enjoy the buzz I got from a wine cooler while I study school books, or eat my dessert and chill out on the couch. My mom got concerned at how readily I reached for a Bacardi and I began planning how many rum and coke's I'd have once I got to my apartment. Even in Colorado I craved the buzz. Coming back to Iowa I had one wine cooler. Suddenly, my mom pleaded with me to stop my habit of having wine coolers in the afternoon because she was worried I'd set a bad example for my kids and friends around me. I was shocked with the pain in her eyes as she feared I'd step over the line and get in the habit of getting drunk. Suddenly I disliked what I was doing. Now I want to stop planning to have rum and coke's, wine coolers, etc. I realized that I wasn't doing it for the taste--they taste like any other soda with a little bitter after taste of the rum. I was drinking them for the little buzz I got, the relaxation. I think what really got me over the buzz factor is the relaxation and peace I've discovered in going outside and exercising, or sitting by a stream and praying. Backpacking taught me a lot about appreciating the small things. A chipmunk devotedly digging for nuts stores, the pine sap dripping from the creamsicle scented Ponderosa Pine. It goes on and on!

Anyway, that's what I've been learning this morning. I seem to learn better if I go outside and sit. Inside I can't stop thinking of other things I need to do in the day. Even though outside in Des Moines smells like car exhaust--the grass and trees somehow soothe my soul enough to concentrate and pray.

If you want to read more about my summer visit www.duregger.net/shell/