| sometimesI just want to laugh...
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| Give Andre Iguodala his the max contract.
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| The Fat TaxDowntime, the evil breeding ground in any organization. Where the ordinary workers slack, and the slackers linger. During these tried times, I try to stray away from the norm and instead, utilize my remaining braincells to plot the next stage of my career. To be in politics. Before you giggle and goggle, hear me out.
Shino for Mayor/Senator/Governor
Reason #1: If you vote for me, I will levy a tax on all retailers and manufacturers who engages in the distribution of exposing-cut apparel. More specifically, the tax will add a 10% fat-tax on each "X" larger the "L". Hey, you may feel beautiful bulging out of that top, but my eyes sure don't. The proceeds from this tax will be used to finance reason #2
Reason #2: All certifiable obese females will receive a reduced membership to the top fitness centers in the vicinity. This government subsidized effort will provide a true incentive for fat girls to go crank it on the treadmill.
Reporter: "But Shino, the plan seems quite underfunded, are you sure there will be enough to finance such a progressive project?"
Shino: "Yes moron, I'm not done yet"
Reason #3: All females over size "L", will be charge an additional 10% for their fast food consumptions. That's right, I'm making obesity a painful crime. Any taxable female caught ordering fast food in their skimp-wear will be penalized with an addition 15% on top of the 10. If during this process, you are caught wearing a size that obviously doesn't fit you, you will have your picture taken and displayed on the counterwall.
Reporter: "Why all this hate for the slightly enlarged?"
Shino: "Have you taken the train recently?"
Reporter: "No".
Shino: "Let me explain...."
"See, in a time not so long ago, trains were used to bring harmony to this great city. They were designed with comfort for the normal commuter in mind. The seats were carved beautiful to fit 1 and only 1 ass. Life I remembered, was good and the city prosper.
Then...one day, nobody can exactly remember when, the trains experience something that was not foreseen. They were called "the horde". These beings took up more then 1 seat yet demand to be charged fairly. They clogged the stairwells during rush hour as they slowly galloped up the stairs. At first nobody noticed, it was just another way of life. However, this life form was evolving.
Their larger then average intake of trans-fat began to slowly infect the mind. The horde started to think, no... B-E-L-I-E-V-E, that big can also be beautiful and should be paraded along the streets. This exhibition of the flesh did not go unnoticed and many thought the freedom of expression was being "stretched" too far.
Shino: "see, the horde must be stopped!"
Reporter: "wah?"
Shino: "....I meant...we must realign our focus and wage a new war. Not a war on drugs, nor on poverty, but obesity. Vote for Shino!
Seriously, nothing is more frightening then waking up to a xxl-ass trying to park itself in a bookbag-width space. Think of the children
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