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Name: Nick
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: sexual


Interests: Progressing in knowing My Creator, learning love, and strengthening faith. Walking alone/with friends under the peaceful stars. Feeling a cool breeze as I sit/think/draw under a willow tree. Hearing true, heart-felt, words in the form of music. Enjoying evenings in the fellowship of SV. Creatively enjoying my time with a pen, pencil, paintbrush, or camera in hand. Becoming more musically inclined as each day passes.
Expertise: (Nodd.... 1... 2... 3...)
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art


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AIM: PoeticIntention3
AIM: CivilianPanic


Member Since: 7/16/2004

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Poetry

This is for Phil Mendola. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.


In a favorable tone, she sings, she whispers
Rustling through the trees, a soft noise
Grazing upon my ears, an echo of forgotten truth
Who am I to forget such a promise?
All along I have betrayed, and bruised magnificent truth
Watching for a reaction, hoping for a reaction
Change comes to mind, yet elusive thought tangles my senses
Not knowing which way is up, water tears my face
No longer holy, no longer pure.
I am no different, I am your equal
A thousand times again, shout it out
Clarify what you said to me,
Her soft voice brings hope again, ears open and the sea rises
Overflow into our hearts, my nature remains heavy
The truth rings freely in the air.
©Nick Schoener
2/1/07

Alive, sitting, mind in repose
Hearts head warning, neglecting to ask,
Neglecting to inquire my peace
Just like the crowd
Flickering lights go out
All around lights go dim
Some show hope
Others know it
All long for it
Where would we be,
If these desires were fully known
Fully met
Breed passion, breath life
Dear father, let words pour down
Into our lips
Into our hearts
Let us create, and Inspire through us
12/24/05

The adolescent
    The sounds runs down, penetrates throughout
    I hear these words, over and over
    The adolescent screams out, the wisedom sinks in so much more
    She dives in with full right, Only honor to bring
    The fight goes on for so long, detaches the senses
    Im still here, Im not myself, the nerves are tense.
    Forgotten and neglected the sound rings out
    Its her words, ringing above the charade
    Comfort in your resiliance, lost hope in the day
    My own words left betrayed, not a soul left to gaze
    Confusion in the action, clarity in your arms
    Here in this place, were left without charm
    Words bled through the page, these must be taught
    For all the times I've played, Now I realise the fault
    © Nicholas Schoener 10/21/05

The fall of man

In these months there's been so much said between you and I,
But without words, Our feelings seem to escape and left betrayed,
Increasing space and less meaningful lives,
And so much time thoughts run away

Speechless now where I stand
This is what the Kids want, what they want
Yet alone again,
It all rests in our hearts, in our hearts

Realizing my need is so pitiful,
Wondering these questions, these problems,
Here we are so unfulfilled,
Neglect of thought robs them,
In my mind its almost clear,
But hesitant I feel the need to leave this place,
My eyes avert from the mirror,
My heart guarded well, with feelings so untamed

I know sweet spirit, I know,
But they don’t see the game they play,
Risk will betray, I know,
Eager hearts wont see that way.

Constantine's Disposition

Ideals thought and drawn out
Lines askew on torn paper
What conclusions were made are now erased
So beautiful, your eyes touch the surface
Your smile: the beginning to a departure
Remarkable character i have seen
Distinguishing words give way
Hope is found
I counted myself out
Held back in frailty
I was wrong
A Soft touch tells me different.

You Gave Your Life, and I'm Nonchalant

My fingers tips burn when i touch my face
my empty hands are cold and numb
absence of your presence here leaves me stranded
its my mistake that i let go
ill hold on to these vacant dreams
i convince myself they're not worthless
vague post script lines consume me inside my head
letters that tell of times when my dreams were reality
i never felt so alive
those times are gone
whats the use trying to recreate useless dreams
I'll lay here in this dishonorable grave
But i will live and reach for your hand
im tired of sitting motionless
lines between dreams and reality are easily bent
you know the difference and so do I

All © Nicholas Schoener 10/8/05

     Water up to my chest
     Storm impending on the edge  
     Breathless, my heart's wearing
     This must be related to the season.
     Vital concentration, my mind on the surface
      I can see the lines in your eyes
      and peace in your gaze
      its reminds me of a better place
      Prayers under the night sky,
      Suppose its answered, hands raised in praise.

           Nicholas Schoener © 9/29/05

Seeing the Invisible

    One word is all it took, it echoed through the halls
    Straight past your door, but touching your thoughts
    Alive and awake, your feet leave their place
    For the first time in years you swallow regret
    Fear entails so much more than what it may seem
    Clenched in, regress in your own defeat
    Mediocrity it pulls at the seems, holding your sleeve
    She sacrificed so much to be heard and there you are
    Listening so passionately, leaving your comfort
    Your caught in a torrent of pain, and here you are
    Left in a moment of rage, and stand strong
    Perseverence never felt this way, never meant the same

    Its all made right by your hand.
    Its all emotion built by man.
    Lord take this pain,
    make me who i am
    Perseverence never felt this way, never meant the same.

Nicholas Schoener ? 9/18/05


Revisions

           
         I begin with the thought in mind
        A terrible glare with no point of reconcile
        All concelled, with fracture impending
        How beautiful, How beautiful the solace in your stare
        Reminiscent of the words: Honest truth
        Pressure from the breathless, faint whispers
        You will push hard from the start, breaking the boundary
        Im in the den, you hold their mouths shout
        Lions from the look, hateful, lost
        Give them grace, give them hope
        How beautiful, How beautiful the solace in your stare, in your gaze
        A touch from the bottom, leaving me wanting
        All I am feeling it for the present
        Compassion on the needy, Courage to strong


        In this hour, I've heard more of you without words
        Hear and now I will speak without words
        Show them compassion, give them courage!


By Nick Schoener © 9/14/05

 Thoughts: In alphabetical order

This view seems to be one that complicates
with the dawn coming above my eyes
still theres little light, this must fit, it must be right
There's letters and letters of praise
Only those which seem to fade
Constant when my heart is found
In a place only one can know
Promises of your love subject
A thought of faithfullness

This love can only be like that of life once past
With motives of passion
My mind seems to dull what i know
with fatal reaction

I see them sit there motionless
On cold floors, with cold emotion
Covered in dust their will to fight is at loss
So tragic, so far from victory
Despiration is the reality
Hearts and minds blend dramatically
Spirit, if they only knew
Sweet Spirit if they only knew

Accolades bring glory again
Something less then evident

© 8/1/05

No Title As Of Yet

The solemn music is played
Hearts seem to wander
Drifting in and out of panic
Low notes fill the space between
Comfort seems to reside in control
Obstacles only bring pain
Shifting the routine
Subdued and drawn out
Yet not a trace of indulgence fills the air
Quiet: Silence echoes the anger
Stillness: Prostrate to all feeling
If i havent experienced it, its meaningless

High notes discalm my thoughts
Degrading my position
Convicting all that i claim to be
where do i proclaim to stand?
Do i even proclaim?
Seeking out hope
Found in you
Losing all comfort

© Nicholas Schoener 1/11/05

To Boast Your Return

This cold chill. glass once clear
The touch bites at the senses
Strains something deeper each time
Every glance seems to fade
not one clear look to the inside
are you content with what you see?

Shouldnt i be the one given to grief?
This stage gives light and holds warmth
bitter emotion rises, "ready the charge"
attack. disbelief. strain
holding ground isnt an option
accentuated movement, detailed fall
pain brings comfort
any emotion to keep a tired heart
burdens hold me, i am idle
no retaliation.
no retribution.
Only these well thought plays
These scripts to write
Characters to show feeling.
1/7/05

New Age Philosophy of Aesthetics.

Given to seduction and lust
Your mind desires the gratification of the eyes
Your heart desires something real
Cold feelings rush through your blood
They give you warmth
But never satisfy
"Here lies the memory,
of all that was once beautiful"
Don’t take thought to the ages before you
They are meaningless
Take note of the purity almost forgotten
Its not here for long.

When I say you
I also mean me.
Odd, the resemblance we share.

© Nick Schoener 12/30/04



Saints objected by Scholars

Truth seems to nag, and bite at your feet
The science you seek is corrupt
Knowledge has become your lust
"It has to be real, the pieces fit almost in place"
this state of being is going to become your pain
"but there is no explaination, no other way"
I see you as you shake
Fearful of chance.
Terrified that this may be wrong.
I can proclaim the divine illustration.
You can write off any possibility right away
Hating the thought of any other theories
Your theories drown you in your own bitterness
Cant you see this pain you cause your self
Can i see the pain i cause myself

© nick schoener 12/27/04



Recovery, Act 1

Break into consciousness like you broke into silence
i will tear away the seam that ive always minded
And wisdom has not laid a gentle hand on me
She ever has held back, rejecting my touch
My smile simply fades, the color of happiness wears away
Clench my fist and walk on, Hoping she'll come today
Lies Ive deceived, only bring more pain
This day has to end, My shield is your words
And its your words I have forgotten
I feel the warmth of her breath against my cheek
I only long for more, her breath inspires ages
And to think what a kiss of hers could bring
I only long for more
I clasp her hand in mine, Your words softly caress my mind
Pull Open the curtain, the light no longer burns
Wisdom appears softly, knocking, breaking barriors
She will ever linger here, Whispering your words
In my ear forever


You Took Your Life, and I'm Nonchalant

My fingers tips burn when i touch my face
my empty hands are cold and numb
absence of your presence here leaves me stranded
its my mistake that i let go
ill hold on to these vacant dreams
i convince myself they're not worthless
vague post script lines consume me inside my head
letters that tell of times when my dreams were reality
i never felt so alive
those times are gone
whats the use trying to recreate useless dreams?
But i will live and reach for your hand
im tired of sitting motionless
lines between dreams and reality are easily bent
you know the difference and so do i

©Nick Schoener 11/27/04

Glue Cant Fix the Seams

Break into consciousness like you broke into silence
i will tear away the seam that ive always minded
your the thread and im the fabric
though i have lived i have never died
and giving up now, its as if ive never tried
So i guess i have never tried
cutting the only bonds that hold us together
with my repeative behavior
i cant describe the trouble it brings me
and i cant know your pain
See this sleeper rise from the dead
hopefully not temporary this time
white-out the pain that i have caused you
crumple the bitterness i have seen here
soon it will all pass away
it will all pass away
Now the thread is all that holds me together
weather cant tear what time will build
my skin has never been more safe



© nick schoener 11/08/04

Only entry in the diary of your mind.

These words don’t seem safe here,
Ive told you all the secrets,
But honesty doesn’t hold appeal.
It lacks intrigue to a mind such as yours,
Too great to worry about simple things.
Everything was blue and white,
Red comes with the sacrifice.
But the knife is rusted,
I guess I wasn’t ready to commit anyway.
The skies burn bright as they wait for me,
And you, well you'll see me,
You'll see me, as I pass through,
Clinging to the set in stone image of us,
Placed in my mind.
But lets not bend these lines between us,
Ill keep a distance,
And you keep your record.
And these steadfast drawings of us will be etched out of existence.

Choking On Calm Waters

I'm laying here half asleep,
Numbing my senses on these dull notes.
Nothing Bold, Nothing New,
Thoughts of Contentment seep in.
I've discarded my courage, this inability to feel.
To hold anything close to myself,
I've drawn myself further and further away.
Luring my mind into its own trap once again,
And There it shall wait and rest awhile.
I don't feel like I'm going anywhere,
I see you pour out your Heart to me,
But my pride will resist acceptance.
Its such a simple feeling, This pride,
It was given to me as a man,
But I am no man
I am nothing in your presence,
So refine my heart of brass, make it of Gold.
I'm tired of contentment and being alone.
Boldness shall come to me,
Along with a new fire ablaze.
Burning magnificently, and shining through,
This dark sea of calm waters.

                                                                                                 

Travel To the Depths

I sit and behold everything beautiful,
It's all revealed in the sunset,
It glistens its face in the midst of the water.
What a beautiful facade.
The ripples are many; it's taken many of my stones.
As they were thrashed with anger,
Against the path of the wind.
I notice nothing but my life in despair,
And pity I have towards my cowardly stance,
As the stones sink to the deep.
And I sense nothing but hope,
As I spot the lonely leaves,
Floating passionately caught in the waves of my pain.
Ever continuing their path,
One unknown to them but trusting they wont be lost.
I am before you; I am but a weak shame,
As I travel to the depths.

I long for the hope this current brings,
For greatness is sure to come of it.

                                                                                                 

Shoreless Waters Look Like Blood

Insolence led, failure bound with no where to run to
My Shorelines break barriors, you break my back
but something's missing I see it, I see it in you everyday
a vivid light that shines, and peaks threw your hardened heart
but its drowning, needing guidance gets none in this current state
lingering in this sea of false innocence, hating to bear another day
while slit wrists spread the true love stored inside
spreading out like blood but flows nowhere, only ever seeping in
a choke from inside whispers for hope and for prayer
These Shoreless waters flow out like blood, your starving yourself
Here in this place your getting nothing
There is nowhere for you to search
So depart from these waters, rise onto shore while you still can
Because you cant always see the shoreline
Only those who search for something more can see it
Seldom find it.

©2005-2007
Currently Listening
Satellite Years
By Hopesfall
The Bending
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Thursday, February 01, 2007

In a favorable tone, she sings, she whispers

Rustling through the trees, a soft noise

Grazing upon my ears, an echo of forgotten truth

Who am I to forget such a promise?

All along I have betrayed, and bruised magnificent truth

Watching for a reaction, hoping for a reaction

Change comes to mind, yet elusive thought tangles my senses

Not knowing which way is up, water tears my face

No longer holy, no longer pure.

I am no different, I am your equal

A thousand times again, shout it out

Clarify what you said to me,

Her soft voice brings hope again, ears open and the sea rises

Overflow into our hearts, my nature remains heavy

The truth rings freely in the air.

 

 

©Nick Schoener

2/1/07

Currently Listening
18 Singles
By U2
With or Without you
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Sunday, December 10, 2006

   
    Well been its been about 7 months since I have given xanga the light of day. Sad really seeing that all are gone from this vast terrain of ideas and blurbs, moving on to adding 'friends' and listening to bands on myspace. I'm not saying that I do not like myspace, I have one, but I am saying that on myspace there are no thoughtful blogs of. Glad to be back really, good way to communicate with Phil, the only person in Hilliard who still xangas, or would it be xangers? Would that make us xangists? Xangesians? Oh well.
    Being back feels good, need to make it a habbit to write my thoughts and things, this is my last year in high school I need a place where I can store thoughts and what not.

Jeremy Fish is my favorite artist-illustrator of the moment, Though, I am sure none of you would know who that might be. His stuff is sweet. check it out if you'd like.

Working on art is intense, yet relieving.

check out anathallo.

Currently Listening
Floating World
By Anathallo
The Angry Neighbor
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Sunday, May 21, 2006

Seeking Truth in the Da Vinci Code

By Mark Gudgel

©Relevant Magazine 2006

Stepping out of the drizzling rain and into Barnes and Noble last Sunday, I was greeted by an enormous display dedicated to Dan Brown and his most famous book, The Da Vinci Code. The display consisted of numerous Da Vinci-themed books, merchandise and spin-offs, including calendars, guides, maps, board games, journals, CDs and tons of other books, even a self-help item entitled “The Diet Code.” I suppressed a chuckle.

Near the main display was a special section labeled “The Da Vinci Debate,” containing scores of books written directly in response to Brown’s fiction novel, and each claiming authority to rebut the “horrible errors” and “dangerous misrepresentations” that appear within it. Many known theologians have contributed to this collection, and the canon has become quite large. As I looked around me, a little overwhelmed by this gross capitalist spectacle of merchandising-meets-history, I started thinking about God’s role in this. What might He be doing with this entire ordeal? Why are Christians getting so worked up over a single piece of fiction? Is God trying to tell us something here?

The first thing that I think of when I think of Da Vinci is that the book is, in fact, fiction. Obviously, it would be preferable if our society were able to distinguish more clearly between what is and isn‘t real, but this has never been the case, particularly within the evangelical community. Evangelicals have always waged war on fiction titles that they felt in some way contradicted the Bible, from Mark Twain to Harry Potter. Why would I or anyone else expect Christians to react differently to Da Vinci, particularly considering that the subject matter is so rooted in Christian pretenses? Nevertheless, The Da Vinci Code seems to receive special attention, and I wonder why that might be.

The premise of many of the secondary Da Vinci books, especially those written by Christian authors, seems to revolve around statements made by Da Vinci’s fictional expert Leigh Teabing, regarding the early church. The statements are made matter-of-factly and are frequently inaccurate. As Bart Ehrman points out in Truth and Fiction in The Da Vinci Code, which is perhaps the best overall analysis of Brown’s historical mistakes, “If the author had simply done a little bit more research, he would have been able to present the historical back-drop of his account accurately, without in any way compromising the story he had to tell.” And while I agree with Dr. Ehrman, his statement does little more than to further reinforce the already known fact that The Da Vinci Code is a fictitious story. And if Christianity is already well aware of this truth, then what, pray tell, is our true concern? Surely there is something deeper.


Christians aren’t stupid, not in general. Why, then, is our community so hung-up on a piece of writing that is simply inaccurate? Evangelicals typically have less contempt for the so-called Gnostic Gospels or the Apocrypha than they do for fiction that outsells the Bible.

And then I realized it.

We’re afraid of this fiction for the same reason small children are afraid of the dark. It’s the fear of the unknown. The reason that the inaccurate statements of Leigh Teabing in Da Vinci strike such a nerve amongst evangelicals is because so many believers are so poorly equipped to rebut them. Pastors know this about their flocks, and as a result, may be inclined to instruct their followers not to read the book. As the Body of Christ, we know so horrifyingly little about the history of what we believe that any information presented with authority may very well threaten to skew our understandings.

Take Teabing’s statements about the Deity of Christ. In the book, Teabing ascertains that the council of Nicea, from which was born the Nicene Creed, was called by Emperor Constantine to determine that Christ was indeed God. Having done my research, I can tell you that this statement is entirely untrue, and that the understanding of Christ as divine was believed hundreds of years prior to the Council of Nicea in 325. However, I can understand how an uneducated Christian, when presented with the idea that “the divinity of Jesus” was “debated and voted upon” might be dangerously unequipped to know just what to what to think about such a proposition.

It is not the fault of Dan Brown that we as Christians are so horribly uneducated about our own faith that we would blindly believe the fabrications of a fictitious character in one of his novels. It is utterly shameful that a fiction novel could have such a profound effect on us for our lack of knowledge and, to a great extent, even our seeming unwillingness to seek the truth. All Christians claim to believe that what we know about God and Jesus is indeed the truth; few Christians go so far as to prove it for themselves. Many write it off quickly as a matter of faith, leaving themselves quite open to attack in their ignorance. What every Christian should know is that what we believe actually is the truth, and not simply what we believe because we are too foolish or arrogant to understand otherwise.

When Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life …” (John 14:6), He was not speaking metaphorically nor in generalizations; our Lord does not seek to confuse us. He was being literal.

Christianity is the truth, and those who seek to prove that most certainly can and often do. Certainly, there are tensions in Christianity, as there are in science or in language or in math, however the underlying reality is that we do ourselves and other believers around us a horrendous disservice by blindly accepting our faith without ever seeking to truly understand why we believe what we do. With all this in mind, it becomes painfully obvious why those evangelicals so enthralled with capitalism, twelve-hour work days and the so-called American Dream would feel threatened by Da Vinci. It is easier to ban something than it is to analyze or learn from it.

I am in no way professing the idea that all Christians should go to school to earn an M.Div. or seek to become formal preachers or priests. What I am saying is that all Christians should feel a sense of pride and obligation to understand their faith and God as best they can. It is for this very reason that believers should read The Da Vinci Code. Much is to be learned, and a great deal of Christian understanding can be taken from it, but only if you are familiar with the context. There is no need to fear nor to avoid a book or movie, fiction or otherwise, when you know the Truth. God is that Truth, and only God is to be feared by those who believe in Him.

So far as I have yet observed, this is what God is showing us through Da Vinci. He wants us to see that our ignorance is not bliss, is not pleasing to Him. He wants us to thirst for knowledge and to be ever curious about His majesty and grace. I believe that God has used this book to inspire curiosity in non-believers, as well as to further the understandings of those of us who already know Christ.

 

Currently Listening
United We Stand
By Hillsong United
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Sacred-Secular Dichotomy

By Curt Lamm

There is a difference between observation and inhalation.

When a person observes something, they watch or see. It involves looking and bearing witness to an event. Inhalation is another matter; it is the essence of life. It is the rendering of passion and the breadth and scope of synergized being.

There is a difference between missions and holistic Christianity; as a matter of fact, I propose that the word "missions"—when used in a certain sense—does not represent a fully biblical idea. The word (and sadly the idea that is associated with it at times) implies a beginning and a conclusion. There is a focused effort on an objective and a target. There is strategy and a plan—we will “win souls.” Do you ever wonder why Christians sound so militant? I guess that’s a whole other story. I understand the concept of mission, and I don’t get too hung up when the word is used because largely the intention behind the said user is noble and genuine.


I propose a simple idea … holistic Christianity. Rather than falling into the lie that has been perpetrated since the first century—the lie that says that there is a spiritual world and a secular world—we should take another look at Jesus’ words in Matthew when he mandated the disciples to “go and make disciple of all nations.” What does this truly entail? How is an entire nation discipled?

When the followers of Jesus heard this, it made perfect sense; it wasn’t befuddling at all, but likely very encouraging. They thought back to the only nation that had been ultimately discipled by God: Israel.

When Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt, they were a virgin nation. They were exposed to every element that existed. They were laid bare and had no way to live. The law given to Moses, by God, was not just for the Israelites spiritual survival. The law encompassed rules for war and the environment. It addressed health care and education, mass media and communication. The law gave instruction for government and the ethical treatment of the poor. Justice was covered. Business and economics … not a problem! Discipling nations means becoming involved in every aspect of a society’s culture. Inhalation over observation.

Holistic Christianity is nothing more than simple obedience to God. It means that you are true to the gifts that He has endowed you with. There is no secular arena from which we, as followers of Jesus are exempt or restricted form entering. The word secular means "without God," and there is no place on this planet that God cannot operate. We are not to go on missions; we are to live and exist. We are to love God and others with all of our heart, souls, mind and strength. This validates every aspect of an individual … God, himself, tells us that we are to use the very gifts He has given.

Being a friend to others who believe differently is essential. Do you value converts over conversation? Are you a confidant with ulterior motives? Or can you simply be a pal? Christians are so quick to become enraged with the state of the world. Many blow gaskets due to the inordinate number of people who “smoke, drink, cuss and chew.” Here’s a tip that makes life a whole lot easier: Do not expect people who are not Christians to live as Christians.

If a person has chosen not to live their life by the teachings of Jesus, then how should they live? And how should you treat them? Jesus treated people with dignity and respect. If you are unhappy with the state of the union, then do something about besides complaining. Get involved with politics or education. Become a writer (hopefully better than this rambling one) or a business owner. For Christ’s sake (literally) do something, anything. Just don't whine about how bad things are "out there."

There is nothing more spiritual than obeying God. Period. Whether you are a pastor or a plumber, just be obedient. Don’t fall into the lie that there are certain occupations that are more spiritual than others.

Please, inhale life. Don’t just watch it pass you by.

© Relevant Magazine 2006
Currently Listening
Blue Screen Life
By Pinback
Penelope
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