I am ready for this semester of school to be over,...my heart aches to be overseas somewhere. I have been reading alot about prostution in thailand lately and it has been breaking my heart. I want to do this thing called the world race (adventures in missions) where u go around the world in 1 year..you stay in each place for 1 month doing ministry. I read this one journal from girl who is doing it now (in her journal she is in thailand redlight distict)...here it is....it will break u April 10, 2006 – The Natashas
I don’t even know where to start. I have to say this: last night was the hardest thing I have EVER done or experienced in my life. As you know from my last blog, this place has been on my heart. The Lord continues to break my heart for the girls here that have been pulled into sex trafficking. It weighed heavily on my heart to go into the “war zone” so a group of us went last night. Us girls dressed up (actually down) so we would look as unattractive as possible. We gathered together as a group and prayed ourselves up, and then we hailed two cabs and headed out. As we drive, my heart pounds hard, and I feel so broken for these girls, but we haven’t even arrived yet. Little do I know that these were just the beginnings of my feelings for the night. As we step out of the cab, a blanket of heaviness covers me, and I do everything I can to stand up and hold myself together. My body feels so weak. The second we arrive, there are guys on the street with menus-YES, menus-of what people want from the girls. Anything you can think of and anything that your mind does not want to think of is on this “menu.” While these men show people the menus, they continue to entice them and pull them into the clubs. My teammates and I grabbed each other (literally), held on and we were off. We walked in and saw girls everywhere...YES...everywhere-on stage, walking around, sitting down and at the door. They wore little to nothing, but every one of them wears a number. The pimps constantly say, “Take your pick; take your pick...special price 40-80 Baht.” What? Yes...that is $1-$2. You can buy a girl for $1-$2. You have got to be kidding me....
The look these girls had in their eyes showed complete hopelessness. My heart has never hurt or been broken so badly in my life. Many would stand there on “their pole” and just look at you dead. They had no hope, no feeling, nothing to be happy for. They would literally stand there and stare at you as if they were dead. They would rather be dead than in their current situation. As we go from club to club to club (20-35 clubs all in a row on 2 streets), the situations grow worse and worse-the things the girls are forced to do, the amount of girls in each club and the looks on the girls’ faces. In the first two clubs, I felt so sick to my stomach, but I held myself together. As we got to the third club, I lost it. I fell apart and could not stop crying the entire time we were there. The heaviness became harder and harder to stand. My entire body screamed in pain, my head felt like it would explode and my heart was literally broken. It hurt. I couldn’t breathe. We continued going into each club, constantly praying, walking around in a circle covering the places in prayer and rebuking the enemy for what he is doing here. Many times the girls would make eye contact with us and all I could do was smile at them. My heart wanted to grab them up and get out of there. As I walked out of one particular club, a pimp was outside talking to Chad. When the man turned around, his eyes were glowing red. I am not exaggerating; they were glowing. Chad said, “Go in, this place needs it.” I have to admit, I did not want to go in this one, but I did. I walked in, and it was the most crowded club of all. Inside there were probably 8-12 pimps trying to entice us. That’s the thing...we are girls, and they are trying to get us to partake. In these clubs, there were girls, boys, young men, old men, men with their wives.... I mean...are you kidding me...all of these people “enjoy” this and take part in it. My gut reaction is anger, but then I remember, and I say to the Lord, “Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they do.” As I walk through this particular club, I touch every girl I can possibly touch. I walk and pray. As I leave, one of the pimps looks at me with his eyes GLOWING and says something in Thai. As he says it, I say, “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.” As soon as I do, he looks me in the eyes and says, “What did you say?” “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.” I continue to say it as I walk out. On the street, I go to Chad, and I tell him how possessed these men are, especially that one. As I show Chad which one, the pimp glares at us again. The evil in this place is so heavy you can see it in people. I mean it is in their eyes and on their faces. The fact that people are so blind and cannot see it scares the crap out of me...for them. The way these girls are treated like meat...like they are nothing...worthless...I cannot explain to you the broken-heartedness I feel. Some clubs have very vulgar names, and some clubs say, “50 Beautiful Girls and a Few Ugly Ones.” What? Are you kidding?
They even have a club that literally looks like hell. This was the ONLY club they would not let us into. We could see an all black steel gate, red lights inside and vulgar things written outside. It was the “torture” club. I stop in my footsteps, sit on the street and cry my eyes out even more. I can go no further. I can’t do this anymore. It is all I can do to sit on the street and cry my eyes out for these girls. I have read books and watched movies, but they did nothing to prepare me or give me a picture of what this is really like. After we cover every club in prayer, my team and I decide to cross the street to Starbucks and pray over the area as a group. As we walk into Starbucks, the heaviness lifts a bit. We all sit there and just cry. No one speaks; we just sit there and cry and cry and cry for what we have seen, for what we have experienced. No one even buys coffee, and that says a lot for us.... By the time we return to the hotel, I have NO voice, my head hurts worse than it ever has, my body hurts so bad I can’t walk, I am coughing and my chests hurts so badly I can feel it in my lungs. This is a major spiritual attack so I ask Friske and Laura to come to my room and pray over me before bed. We rebuke the enemy, rebuke the enemy and rebuke the enemy until we can’t anymore. I’m pretty sure he got the drift. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I fast and pray about the calling the Lord has given me to come here and minister to these broken girls. Most people don’t understand that these girls don’t choose to be here. They are force and have no choice. If they try to get out, to escape, to say no, or if they don’t make their money quota each night, then they get beaten, raped and abused. Oh Lord, what can I do? i think about what i see in one day..the hurt the brokeness in people...the lost and it breaks me...just to think that the Lord sees all the worlds hurt in one day...He sees every prostute losing hope..the pimps being decived...he sees the homeless hungry the fatherless feeling abandon,the brokenhearted bleeding hearts... around the WHOLE world. I want to see it all..i want to understand Gods heart and what breaks his heart all around the world. And by this seeing God's character and his light and hope in the midst of it all. We are so sheltered here in america..we have no idea of the brokeness around this world. People crying out for hope for something that will give their life meaning. i have nothing to complain about....WE ARE BLESSED TO BE A BLESSING!! God open up our eyes..there is so much more out there than our own selfishness. | 
