Well Folks-I'm sick today and bored out of my mind so thought I would post an update for ya'll seeing as thought its long overdue. Been busy with school and my new job so its been hard to update  Hope you all are doing well and avoid getting this nasty virus thats going well and that you all had a fun and safe Halloween-let me know what you think of the post if you don't mind!  Ya'll have a good night. Much love.

-Maria-

i learned that i can love. i learned that it`s okay to mess up. & it`s okay to feel like crap! i learned that it`s okay to complain & whine to all your friends for a whole day. i learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can`t have. i learned that the greatest thing about high school isn`t the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups...it`s about the friendships, which means taking chances. i learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about. i learned that letters from friends are the most important thing. & that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. but basically, i just learned that my friends, both old & new, are the most important people to me in the world. & without them, i wouldn`t be who I am today.

I bet you didn`t know that I`m terrified of the dark, & everytime I think of you, I smile. I bet you don`t know that I hate thunderstorms, but love dancing in the rain. or how much I laugh with my friends & how much I truly enjoy being happy. I bet you don`t know how many tears I`ve cried just for you, or how much I doubt myself every day. I bet you don`t know how ticklish I am or how I can`t make decisions & how it drives me crazy when you look at me.. <3

I`ve learned in my lifetime so far, that you can`t help who you fall for & no matter how hard you try or how much it hurts you, everyday that you just wanna be with them or just talk to them. You never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do cause that`s what makes your life worth going on for.

you know what i love the most about us? i love how comfortable we are with each other, i love how we can endlessly crack on each other but never take the teasing to heart. i love how when i walk away from you when we`re fighting you try to stay mad but always end up running after me. i love you & everything about you, the look in your eyes when you kiss me, how we can stay up all night just talking about nothing. i love how you can call me & no matter my mood you somehow always seem to make me laugh. i love how you need me as much as i need you, but most of all, i love how you love me

Stay awake for one more night I'll pretend that I'm okay. Everyone says I'll be
alright but I'm dreaming of things better than you know. Would it hurt for me to
make it? Would it hurt for me to let this go?

And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending the
echoes belong to someone; someone I used to know.

someday you'll find a guy worth all your tears, that wont ever make you cry. you may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy you always ran back to, but you will. its gonna hurt like hell, and its going to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

I am amazed that while there are some people you can see everyday and not say a word to, there are other people whom you can see once a year, or once in a life, and say anything.

Life is just a cycle of starts and stops.

Although it is such a singular word, there are many variations of alone.  There is the alone of an empty beach at twilight.  There is the alone of an empty hotel room.  There is the alone of being caught in a throng of people.  There is the alone of missing a particular person.  And there is the alone of being with a particular person and realizing you are still alone.

Don't be flattered that he misses you, he should miss you.  You're deeply missable.  However, he's still the same person who broke up with you.  Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.

Every time you love someone, you put not just your faith in them, but your faith in everything.  I didn't think I was ready for that.

He seemed like the kind of person you could show your messiest self to.  And not have to worry that you were letting him down in some way.

Of course I can't forget all the beautiful colors on the day we first met.

When you say you love someone, you'll do anything you can to keep them with you.  Unfortunately, there is also a point when you have to step back and say that it's time to let go.

Because that's not what people want to hear.  They want to hear that it's going to be okay.  That the pain goes away, but it doesn't.  It never does.  And you can't say that when the wound is fresh.  It would be like pouring salt into their wound and you can't do that to a person.

But most of all, what really attracted me to him was his manner.  He laughed a lot, and it's easy to fall for someone who can find humor in any situation.  He was also intelligent, well read, and well spoken, willing to listen and confident in his beliefs.  And most of all, he was warm.

When I think about love, I think about when I was little and I automatically knew what I wanted.  Love should come to you just like that.  Like your favorite color comes to you, or how a smile comes across your face.  It should just hit you and you should know that's how it's supposed to be.

Strength is being able to say, 'no thanks' to someone who, despite how they glow under the moonlight, forgets to call the next day.

You take the breath right out of me.

Thought I would post before I got too busy with school.  Hope you all are enjoying the fall weather (if you live in a state that gets it anyway lol) I hope you enjoy the quotes! Please comment if you have the time, I really appreciate it!  Much love to ya'll.

I have the boy who sings to me at  random  moments, the one who is equally goofy and romantic, who listens to me when I talk to him and who makes fun of me just to hear my laugh. He lets me tickle him until he can't breathe but then tickles me right back. I can tell him anything and he would never tell a soul. And yes he is the love of my life, but mostly he's someone who's my best friend and would never try to break my heart, but just always make me smile. (This is my baby )

So just kiss me and let my hair messy itself in your fingers and let me steady myself in the arms of a boy that won't ask me to be what he needs but lets me exist as I am.

I'm standing on the moon, with nothing left to do. With a lovely view of heaven, but I'd much rather be with you.

Go for someone who makes you smile because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright

Maybe you're just jaded from some nobody's unforgotten words. Maybe you're just faded; a little gray from every time that you've been hurt.

He seemed like the kind of person you could show your messiest self to. And not have to worry that you were
letting him down in some way.

All I can say is that sometimes something makes perfect sense. Then it's a complete mystery when you look at it the next day, or even the next minute. And you can't remember or explain what was so clear back then. Because that moment is gone.

When the world outside is crumbling and I want you to believe in me when everyday just leads to nowhere and I want you to agree with me you never will.

Dusk, I realized then, is just an illusion, because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And, that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are, there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, I remember wondering, to be always together yet forever apart.

And sometimes it just hits me, out of nowhere. All of a sudden, this overwhelming sadness rushes over me, and I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad, and hurt, really hurt.

I sink into the lyrics with a sigh. The music, at least for a little while, fills a sweet sort of ache. When one song is done, another takes its place. An endless stream of comfort and distraction to help me for awhile.

The unreal is more powerful than the real because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. It's only tangible ideas, concepts, beliefs and fantasies that last. Stome crumbles, wood rots, people...well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.

The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person

And now I have to stop because every time I remember this, I have to cry a little by myself. I don't know why something made me so happy then, feels so sad now. Maybe that's the way with best memories.

I've been learning to live without you. But I miss you sometimes. I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to shatter. But I think it's about forgiveness. Forgiveness. Even if you don't love me anymore.

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong. Black and white didn't fit you. You were shaded with patience, you're strokes of everything that I need just to make it and I believe that time can tear you apart, but it won't break anything that you are.

It was only once it was finished that I was able to see that all along, I should have been taking my own advice. Not over thinking, backtracking, or obsessing. -Just Listen

Music fills the infinite between two souls. This has been muffled by the mist of our daily habits.

Only love can ease the pain of a boy caught in the rain. Only hope will remember burning flame in December.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. -Denis Waitley

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct; it's an art.

Decide the outcome and the action step, put reminders of those somewhere your brain trusts you'll see them at the right time, and listen to your brain breathe easier I don't want to be saying we nearly won again, because the margin of defeat does not matter

I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself, "So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts." And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come. Whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life when they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would just stop changing. Because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love . It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

There's a particular brand of pit that grows in your stomach when you know you're losing control and there's nothing you can do about it. Heavy as granite and moldering...It's the way we're built I suppose. A natural reaction to the unstoppable spin of the earth below. Forever trying to wrest control of life, love, work, and home. And when we can't get control there, we'll fight for it wherever we can. As if we think we could stop the world from spinning just by being mad.

There were days, I know, when all we ever wanted was to learn and love and grow. Once we grew into our shoes, we told them where to go. Walking halfway around the world on promise of the glow. Stood upon a mountain top, walked barefoot in the snow. Gave the best we had to give. How much, we'll never know. We'll never know.

All I'd ever wanted was to forget. But even when I thought I had, pieces had kept emerging. Like bits of wood floating up to my surface that only hint at the shipwreck below. A pink shirt, a rhyme with my name. The feeling of hands on my neck. Because that's what happens when you try to run from the past. It doesn't catch up, it overtakes. Blotting out the future, the landscape, even the very sky. Until there's no path left except that which leads through it, the only path that can ever get you home.

Whatever happened to the life that we once knew? Can we really live without each other? Where did we lose the touch that seemed to mean so much? It always made me feel so... free as a bird. It's the next best thing to be. Free as a bird.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. I want to know if you will risk looking for a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its prescene. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Sorry for the lack of updates...been very busy lately. Starting up two classes soon so its gonna be hectic. I will try my best to update as often as possible! Thanks for your support! Happy Autumn.

but I could not recall a more perfect fall
'cause when I looked up in your eyes
it didn't hurt at all

It's undeniable how brilliant you are.
In an unreliable world you shine like a star.
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far.
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable.

My fingertips are holding onto
the cracks of our foundation,
and I know I should let go,
but I can't.

I didn't wave, just sat there and cried in shock of what just
happened because I didn't have a say in anything especially
when you told me that you weren't in love with me anymore.

There are two kinds of people in your life.
The ones that are going to pick you up, and the
ones that are going to push you down, but in
the end, you'll thank them both.

yeah, some things in this world
might have passed me by, and i might
have missed a chance or two. but
you won't find any regret in my eyes.

life is easier if you break it down into
little segments; little desires and needs
you can satisfy right now.

we pried open my window and let the
summer rush in, and we both laughed
with the new air. now i lay and watch
green leaves dance and whisper 
a sweet promise of a new year.

and tonight she's taking chances,
making memories out of what she has.
throwing caution to the wind,
it feels good to leave it all behind.
here's to being young and gorgeous.

even when the sun forgets to shine,
i'll be there to hold you through the night.
and even when we're miles and miles apart,
you're the only one who holds my heart.

August days are ending & when I look outside my window & play that song we always sung, I think of the summer memories. How much you made me laugh & how happy you made me. It was the first time I smiled, knowing someone cared about me in my whole life.

Dedicated to someone special. I just want to let you know how much you mean to me, that you were the only person who believed in me. You've changed me in the little time we've known each other. And it's obvious that God put us on this road together because you've helped me, never doubted me, but the best thing of all, you showed me how it feels to be happy. And lastly, you're the only person that helped me find myself. And what does the future hold for us? Only time will tell.

you want everything to stay the same
until you're ready for it to change. but
you can't do that. you can't expect the
whole world to stand still until you're ready.

the best feeling in the world is when
there are butterflies in your stomach,
& you know that something absolutely
incredible is about to happen.

But it's no use going back to yesterday,
because I was a different person then.

Sometimes to keep growing together, you have to grow apart.  If you're lucky, you can get a second changce with the one you love.  Sometimes luck isn't enough.  Love can kill you, it can tear you apart.  But it can bring you back together.

If you've ever had one of those times when you've clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it long after your need for it had passed, you'll understand sometimes we get so use to holding that we forget to let go.

Sometimes, even the things you most want to say.  Maybe them most of all, couldn't fit inside words.

maybe there aren't any such things as good friends or bad friends. maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when youre hurt & help you not feel so lonely. maybe theyre always worth being scared for, & hoping for, & living for, maybe worth dying for too, if thats what has to be. no good friends. no bad friends. only people you want to be with you ; people who build their houses in your heart.

you deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy,
somebody who doesn't complicate your life,
somebody who won't hurt you.

love is living your own life, but sharing it. it's forgiveness,
it's making a million mistakes and turning them into learning experiences.
love is patience, optimism,
and sometimes its a kiss when there is nothing left to say.

I can see myself waking up next to you,
your face being the first thing I see everyday,
with that bed-head hair and that sleepy smile.

The entire sum of existence is the
magic of being needed by just one person

The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones
that are never said and never explained.

sometimes, you can hope and wish for something
to happen. when all of a sudden, one day your
wish is staring you straight in your face & you
realize maybe its not what you really wanted
&you dont know what to do.

i want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

i want to live life with positive people who keep me positive. i believe in forgetting and not holding onto grudges. i believe that everybody needs love, even to those who may seem they dont need it, may need it most. i plan on moving to the next level. i want to give rather take. i myself, am not the person i want to be, but i plan on becoming and living how i strongly believe is right. by the way, i plan on success.

when you start to bring all the pieces of your life together into one big jigsaw puzzle, it might take forever to solve, losing countless parts, some getting wet & soggy from crying and not fitting anymore, some you force together even though you know they just arent in the right place, bending some parts out of frustration, and searching endlessly for that one piece that connects it all together. whatever that might be, never forget, the big picture was meant to be a beautiful masterpiece. <3

Life comes without guaranteees,
except that smiling will brighten your face,
laughing will enhance your eyes &
falling in love will change your life.

No matter how bad things are at any one
moment, no moment lasts.
Good or bad, time moves on because it
has to, and so do you.

Forever's never seemed so long
as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing

you can erase someone from your mind, but
getting them out of your heart is another story.

sometimes you just need someone
to look foward to seeing you everyday

randomly she bites her lip,  hiding the picture in her mind.
randomly she smiles, she remembers every word you said that night.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart.
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark.
Try as I may, I could never explain;
What I hear when you don't say a thing.

The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny.
And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair,
remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home

In fairytales, when the mask came off,
the handsome prince still loved the girl,
no matter what ; & that alone would
turn her into a princess.

I think there are two ways you can see the world.
You can see the sadness that`s behind everything,
or you can choose to keep it all out.

i wanted to smell the burnt midnight again,
i wanted to feel the wind.
it was a secret wanting,
like a song i couldn't stop humming,
or loving someone i could never have

when the night falls on you
and you don't know what to do
nothing you confess
could make me love you less
I'll stand by you

The fate of your heart, is your choice.
No one else ever gets a vote.
- This Lullaby, Sarah Dessen

More coming soon....

   Hey Guys! Can you believe it'll be August in a day or so...time sure does fly. Well I hope you are enjoying the last little bit of summer we have left...I know I'll be working on my tan before school starts up again.  I hope ya'll enjoy the quotes!

oh life, it was so wonderful
it would shine just like fire
how we sat on the backs of our cars
and laughed into the morning
i thought you'd come and go
i never thought you would stay
and i'm sorry if i tried to push you away

there was a collision of the stars
they made the biggest crash i've ever seen
that's no where near the crash i heard
when i saw you that night
and my heart dropped to the floor

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults.  You don't look for answers.  You don't look for mistakes.  Instead, you fight the mistakes.  You accept the faults and you overlook excuses.  The measure of love is when you love without measure.  There are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and who loves you in return.  So once you have it, don't ever let go.  The chance might never come your way again.

At the end of the day, you either focus on what seperates you... or what holds you together.

However far away, I will always love you.

Hate can be a positive emotion when it forces you to better yourself.

Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts.

Health Fact #133: Negative emotions shorten your lifespan.

May the sunlight find your face, even when the rain does fall. And get back on your feet again every time you slip and fall. Keep your heart wide open and always taking in. And even when it's broken, be strong enough to fit it up again.

The days get shorter and the nights get cold
I like the autumn but this place is getting old
I pack up my belongings and head for the coast
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.

I'm building daydreams carefully
If only you could see, you wouldn't be ashamed of me
I built this daydream carefully
For only you to see
Are you ever coming back?
Have you ever hurt like this?
Break from it, you're what became of me.

Ever have one of those days that was perfect?
I have. This isn't it. This definitely isn't it.
But there's always tomorrow.

what do you do 'when you wake up and
everything will be better,' except it's not.
there's no worse feeling than when you
wake up and feel okay for a minute. and
then that sick feeling washes over you
and you remember it's not okay.

Love doesn't mean doing extraordinary or heroic things. it means knowing how to do ordinary things with tenderness.

Dreams are always crushing when they don't come true, but it's the simple dreams that are often the most painful,
because they seem so personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You're always close enough to touch, but never close enough to hold. And it's enough to break your heart. -The Notebook

Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you, waiting for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.

Music builds a soul - each song inspires emotion and each note builds passion.

Every girl should have one old love she can imgaine going back to, and one who reminds her how far she has come. Every girl should have a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it to her grandkids. Every girl should know when to try harder and when to walk away.

Sometimes you just want to put other people's happiness before yours because you love them, because they deserve it. Sometimes you want to go out of your way for other people just because you know that it's important that they get a chance to smile once in a while.

And now I'm thinking that everything is okay. I've got a whole heart and sunlight on my face.

I'm soooo sorry guys, I've been really bad at updating...been really busy with stuff.  Here's a big post to make up for my lack of writing...much love.

Maybe it`s just an act ;; maybe you still
do think of me often...in stealing moments,
or at night when you can`t fall asleep.
Wondering if...I was wondering. <3

you'll always be the biggest part of me.

He was my first boyfriend, and I made him my everything - he was my new life, my new love, my new compass point. I guess that's the danger with firsts - you lose all sense of proportion.

I vowed right there and then that I would never hesitate to speak up to the people I loved. They deserved to know they gave meaning to my life. They deserved to know I thought the world of them.

How could I possibly explain that he's the one my heart was made for?

I find my greatest strength in wanting to be strong. I find my greatest bravery in deciding to be brave....If there's no feeling of fear, then there's no need for courage.

Tear me off a piece of blanket, keep me warm and we can make it. Here's my heart, I'll let you break it. Touched your skin and I can't take it.

Whoever you are and wherever you're from it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that you're here and that you're with me.

Love isn't about perfect fit, perfect time or the perfect way to say I love you. It's about making the times that seem completely imperfect absolutely amazing. Even when it's hard to smile, even when it hurts, somehow it all becomes bearable just because we have each other, and that, my friends, is love.

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I'd rather remember it as it was, at it's best, than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and otheres you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

The struggles make me stronger, and the changes make me wise. And happiness has its way of taking its sweet time. Life ain't always beautiful, but I know I'll be fine. Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride.

At the sight of your appearance, my smile becomes uncontrollable. The slip of your touch heals my sorrows. The look of your eye opens my heart and the blessing of your kiss fills it. The ring of your call stops my heart and the sound of your voice starts it. The company of you makes me speechless when there are so many things to say,
motionless when there are so many things to do and needy when there's only one person I want.

Heartbreaks are just life educating us. You will learn more from 7 days of agony than you will with 7 years of content. You won't grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden all your life. But you will grow if you are sick, in pain, and experience losses. Pain is important. How we evade it, succumb it, deal with it and how we transcend it. So learn to accept pain, not as a curse or a punishment, but as a gift to you, with a very specific purpose. People often try to alter the circumstances to suit themselves, when we should really be letting the circumstances alter us.
It is all part of this thing called growing up.