So, truth be told we are all crazy until we have proven our point.....Alexander the great said that he will be great and he didn't know how but he felt it and so people mocked him but this is how society works and this is how we must prepare ourselves in a world that establishes rules and regulations to oppress those who can't and bring triumph and glory to those who have been fortunate all along.  But what about those who have unique talents?  What about those who actually enjoy learning and rejoice in knowledge?  There is a quote that reads "an unrewarded genius is almost a proverb"...Very true.....so give the people what they want....Yet when you give the people what they want, they want more...Hence, why Jesus went to be at the side of his father because people had to develop a sincere faith, a sincere relationship...Otherwise is just miserable people asking, asking and asking because all they know how to do is implore only when they need and not seek knowledge and rejoice in his word when all is good....In any case...I must handle my lot and press on, with this nonsense....I only pray heavenly father that you guide me through this maze that I do no understand but I thank you sincerely for the opportunity that you have placed before me and the people as well...Amen

Lately, I've been feeling really sad and I am not sure if it's because of all of the decisions that I have to make....I often don't quite know how to often express that which is my mind but I guess this is normal, at least in other cultures where those kind of things are often kept to self...


I am currently watching this drama called "Fated to love you"...I can actually somehow relate with the lead character in this drama because of the decisions that she has to make.  Is like no matter how much she suffers in the end she prefers to live in happiness while it's there.  Since things are temporary in life and we are never too sure of all outcomes shouldn't this be a good philosophy to live by?  But, then I think, hmm there are certain things that the longer you keep the more attach you become to them...So, even if they rend you happy at the moment, they will make you extremely miserable once they are not there.  However, the other side of that could be that while she is there she can change things and perhaps things won't turn out so bad and the best can be taken out of the situation...sigh...sounds so much like my life......I guess it's a good thing sometimes to watch these dramas because they give me something to think about....

 This is one of the songs from the drama that I am completely in love with due to the music arrangement.  If I could sing it I would love but it's a hard song to sing by myself, considering that it's a duet....
 

Xin Yuan Bian Li Tie

Yi tian, yi tian - tie jin ni de xin
Ni kai xin, wo guan xin
Yi dian, yi di - wo dou neng gan ying
Ni shi wo zui mei de xiang xin
Deng bu dao shuang zi zuo liu xing yu
Sa man tian ji
Xin dian ran jiu zhi xian nu bang dai ti
Zui can lan bu yi ding yao xu duo
zuan shi huang jin
kan ni yan jing you xing fu de dao ying
Ba ni de tao yan zhuan ji bian, song dao tian bian
Ping fan de sha shi yong le xin bian cheng jing dian
Zui lang man de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie cheng wu xian jiu shi wo men zui fu you de xuan yan
Ba ni de xi huan mei yi tian fu xi liang bian
Jing xi de yu yan wo de tian tong tong ling yan
Ni he wo de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie xin li mian shou ji gan dong gei yi hou huai nian

Deng bu dao shuang zi zuo liu xing yu
Sa man tian ji
Xin dian ran jiu zhi xian nu bang dai ti
Zui can lan bu yi ding yao xu duo zuan shi huang jin
Kan ni yan jing you xin fu de dao ying
Ba ni de tao yan zhuan ji bian song dao tian tian
Ping fan de sha shi yong le xin bian cheng jing dian
Zui lang man de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie cheng wu xian jiu shi wo men zui fu you de xuan yan
Ba ni de xi huan mei yi tian fu xi liang bian
Jing xi de yu yan wo de tian tong tong ling yan
Ni he wo de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie xin li mian shou ji gan dong gei yi hou huai nian

Ba ni de tao yan zhuan ji bian song dao tian bian
Ping fan de sha shi yong le xin bian cheng jing dian
Zui lang man de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie cheng wu xian jiu shi wo men zui fu you de xuan yan

Ba ni de xi huan mei yi tian fuxi liang bian
Jing xi de yu yan dou wei ni ti zao ling yan
Ni he wo de xin yuan bian li tie
Tie xin li mian shou ji gan dong gei yi hou huai nian

Yi tian, yi tian - tie jin ni de xin
Yi dian, yi di - wo dou neng gan ying
Ni shi zui mei de xiang xin

Translation...

Day by day I come closer to your heart
When you're happy I care
Every bits and pieces I can sense them
You are my most beautiful belief

Can't wait for Gemini
or the meteor rain to shower the entire sky
Then let's light up 9 sparklers instead for now

The most brilliant thing doesn't have to be
having a lot of diamonds or money
Looking in your eyes
I can see the shadow of happiness

Take your hatefulness
and use express mail to send it to the ends of the world
The most ordinary and foolish thing
can become a classic when you put your heart into it
A sticky note
full of wishes stick to your heart
Collect all the touching moments and remember them later on

Day by day I come closer to your heart
Every bits and pieces I can sense them
You are my most beautiful belief

So, Jason came from L.A. and it was a most pleasant visit, even though I was suffering from unexplained panic attacks.  For my bday he got me a very nice gift which is the dress that I am wearing in this particular picture.  I thought that it was really thoughtful and sweet of him considering that he wasn't sure of my size and it's hard for a guy to pick out a dress for a lady!!!  I love the dress because it completely compliments my skin tone kekeke...Thanks Jason  


The visits didn't stop there and neither did the surprises since my brother decided to show up with his baby, wife, dog & my bday gift to surprise my dad & I.  Below is the chaotic scene of the proud grandfather seeing his grandson for the first time...Pooker dog & my pretty little female cat whom I have decided to name Janu= darling/dear in Urdu.  She is extremely adorable and she will be my new companion & center of my blog!!

My bday gift my "Janu"  She has the cutest eyes but she is so active that I have tons of scratches..argh..!!!! Here she is on Jason's shoulder ..awww....On the second one she is trying to drink coffee....strange cat!


A highly entertained and happy grandpa Vic Hugo I playing with his grandson, Vic Hugo the III

The father Vic Hugo II

The wife & the bday gift I got her


Pooker dog, whom I want to keep since I like walking dogs but don't have enough time to take care of one....

So, I've begun to make plans for my b-day hehe....

1.  This goal my sound kind of crazy but I think that everyone in life deserves a chance to live and if someone can help them why not?  I am going to take a bum out to eat to a nice restaurant so that he can have an unforgettable dinner.  Now I have to search carefully for who although I have someone in mind but because some of these people have nothing and go crazy it can be precarious but I am perceptive.  So, I know that I won't be putting myself in any difficult situation that I won't be able to handle.

2.  To meet this one person, I've been dying to speak with in person but hopefully he will make my wish come true.

3.  I want to receive lot's of gifts...JUST KIDDING...I don't know...I don't have any set goals as far as 3 but maybe it could be to just eat tons of cake mmmmMMmmm cake.....very nice....strawberry shortcake....ooOoo my favorite carrot cake...or maybe just plain tiramisu...so many to choose from....!!!

It's interesting how things happen in life at the most unexpected of moments....I must live with a sadness for now that it's quite unexplainable.....I feel like there is something missing and that I must let go of memories before they rend me completely miserable....However, the truth is that when you lose someone so close it's so hard to let go.  Especially when you know that there is just no way back.  It's been a while since I've felt this empty but I guess I will trust the lord and continue on since I am for sure not the first nor the last to suffer in this way.

Let this be my prayer...

Father God help me cope with the loss of a good friend, companion and listener.  Despite our differences we could come together, and cherish the beauty of the discoveries we made in those differences.  Sometimes things happen for all of the right reasons that only you can comprehend.  I don't ask to comprehend them lord but I only ask that I am able to cope with them.  Forgive me, forgive him and aide this painful process lord so that their will be nothing but a happy closure and glorification of you.

Amen