Movie Quote Quiz Part V: Das Jesus Video ANSWERS
1. "Unpack The Judge!"
Movie: Armageddon
Character Speaking: Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis)
Context: The crew is on the asteroid, and per the wishes of Billy Bob Thorton's character, they have placed a US district court judge in a large suitcase and brought him along for the ride. The orders are to leave the judge on the asteroid. So when the time comes, Harry Stamper yells the nonsensical phrase that spells doom for that poor, poor man.
2. "This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your King."
Movie: 300
Character Speaking: Mr. Senator-pants
Context: You all know this part. But upon reading it again, I had the urge to say that this was George Lucas talking about The Phantom Menace.
3. "Want some candy?"
Movie: Predator 2
Character Speaking: Kid in the graveyard/Predator (Bob Newhart)
Context: FilipinoCrippler: "when the little kid asked Predator if he wanted some in the graveyard while Predator was invisible-ish in the tree "like a chameleon...it uses the jungle", thus the whole "Anytime" bit that he did in the first Predator when Mac stabbed the scorpion from Appollo Creed's shoulder. Then it was stolen when someone idiot said it in Spawn like how Blade stole "My turn" from Lost Boys."
4. "American components, Russian components--ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!"
Movie: Armageddon
Character Speaking: Cosmonaut Lev Andropov
Context: The part where they are trying to leave the asteroid and the engine is not working. The cosmonaut hits the engine with a wrench and the thing starts up. Just like in real life.
5. "Because you are the son of a clerk. And I'm not supposed to want to be you."
Movie: The Count of Monte Cristo
Character Speaking: Fernand Mondego
Context: Edmond Dantes asks his childhood friend, Mondego, why he has sold him out. Instead of revealing the real reason (he was jealous of his mint condition GI Joes), he says that something straight out of high school.
6. "Dipshit? You're calling moi a dipshit?"
Movie: Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Character Speaking: John Connor (Eddie Furlong)
Context: A squeaking John Connor has just learned that the governor of Cali is his very own personal terminator, and orders the termination of the men who called him a dipshit. What follows is a conversation unrivaled in the pantheon of philosophy:
Jon Connor: "You can:t just go around killing people!"
Terminator: "Why?"
Jon Connor: "Because you just can't!"
Terminator: "Why?"
7. "I don't have to do nuthin' but stay black and die."
Movie: Lean On Me
Character Speaking: Principal Joe Clark (Morgan Freeman)
Context: I'll be honest with you, I never watched this movie all the way through before. I did happen to see the end though, when this wonderous line is spoken. And in fact, I saw it at the Crippler's house while I was working on a poetry assignment. I remember workin that line into the assignment, actually.
Oh, the context: he's black, and he dies someday.
8. "You willing to die for stupidity, Cesar? See, I am, if it'll teach you something. You can't kill me, homeboy--what I am, what I was, died over a year ago. Everything I've ever wanted has been taken from me. No matter how many of you I get rid of, I can't get it back. I was a teacher! I wanted to help you! You can't kill me! And you can't scare me."
Movie: 187
Character Speaking: Trevor Garfield (Samuel Jackson)
Context: Along with Training Day and E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial, this movie scares the living shit out of me. In particular, because I am a teacher as well. Samuel Jackson's character is being forced to play russian roullette with some of the students from his science class (gang members). Somedays I have really REALLY bad teaching days. But nothing like this.
9. "I have a bad feeling about this."
Movie: Star Wars (any damn one of them)
Character Speaking: Any poor soul who was under the influence of George Lucas' scripting abilities
Context: This line shows up in Star Wars ad nauseum. I hate it. At least Lucas could have coined a more clever phrase to maintain consistency between the films, and on top of it just being plain stupid, he has Jedis say it. A freaking Jedi wouldn't say something like that. They would just fix it, and not state the obvious. A Jedi saying a line like that is like having a person stand in front of a bullet on purpose and just wait for it to happen. Ugh.
10. "You arrogant ass--you've killed us!"
Movie: Hunt for the Red October
Character Speaking: First officer of the Kanavalov
Context: In the moments before the torpedo hits the Kanavalov, the first officer who has basically been taking it up the ass the whole movie from his commanding officer, Tupelov, decides that in light of the impending doom, he will finally tell off his boss. It's a moment we all dream of at some point or another, yet few have the actual balls to do. Knowing the hull will implode in a few seconds also helps.
Weiners
Well, not that I didn't think this was going to happen, but entries in this round of the movie quiz were quite dismal. Of the 92 million entries, mistajess is the runner up with a total of 3 points, and FilipinoCrippler comes in with a total of 10 points for the win. Crippler gets a bonus point for his quip about Clerks (I actually didn't think about that, but now that you mention it, it would be pretty damn funny if that line were in Clerks).
The fanciness of this round's prizes reflect the fanciness of the quiz itself (well, I think). The prize is, a few of my favorite all-around quotes.
Enjoydemundo.
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
-Oscar Wilde
"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes."
-Henry David Thoreau
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."
-Mark Twain
"I drank what?"
-Socrates
Smart_Bad out.
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