I never tried to give my life meaning my demeaning any one else. I know what people say, and they are the same thing people have always said, and the same things people will always say. People have 'said things' for thousands of years about thousands of people, thousands of times. Saying things, won't make things true. Someone taught me once that those who do not judge are not judged,and those who do not condem are not condemned. That's not true in reality, but I guess I feel like if I try and demean others with words, or even thoughts and actions, it makes me just like them, and it won't make me feel any better in the end. I try to live my life like that- knowing that people don't really know me in reality. Some people never gave me a chance in the first place, and when you never give someone a chance then you will be so much more willing to misinterpret what they do and turn it into what you want it to be, rather than attempt to be close to the truth. This person has never judged me one way or another, but has more reason to that anyone I know. They don't condemn anyone one way or another, although people judge him constantly. I know what it feels like for people to condemn you for being different before they even know you, so I try to offer others the other oppurtunity because I know what it's like to be without it. People don't seek truth, they look for things they can morph into their own truth. They would rather believe whats easy to believe (socially, personally, polictially, religiously), than seek honesty or truth- And they justify it. It's comfortable. It's human nature. It's giving up on personal growth in favor of mental security in comfortable (without being positive) habits.
The other day I was in the car with one of my best friends and the friend told me about something a former friend said about me that was really negative. Everyone has been in this situation a million times in their lives one way or the other. Being (lets be honesthere) catty in nature, I retorted back with some sassy comment about the individuals moral integrity and intellegence. Then it hit me. Saying something catty about this person wasn't going to make them any less petty, it would only make me more petty. Just because I said it doesn't mean that it was true in reality. Even if it were true. The situation wouldn't change jsut because I said something in retort to the orignal comment.
No matter what anyone does to me, it doesn't justify bringing myself down to that level. I usually try to blow things off- and this was a tough on for me, until I realized it just wasn't worth it. The former friend didn't really know what was going on anyway, and they were just making assumptions based on the knowledge said individual had- and said individual would probably never in their life know any better but to behave like that in a stiuation anyway. I would hope better from the person, but I don't expect better- But I do expect better from myself. I'm not writing this for any reason other than to arrange my thoughts, but if you read this I would hope you could think about a time when people unfairly misjudged you or your character one way or another. Did it feel good? No. But it won't make you feel better to do the same to others. If misjudging others for my own comfort is giving up- I'm not giving up. Regardless of what others do to me. | 
