I'm not really one to blog or write about my dreams. I am truly a believer that dreams can say a lot of things in literal images or in metaphor. Most of the time, if I can remember a dream from beginning to end, I take them very seriously. This one, however choppy in the details, is just so weird that I had to share it.

What I can remember first is that my husband and I were going to a party, at what looked like some kind of beach hut. Every one was in a single file type line waiting to walk in. To the right of of us stood Gwen Steffani, who was going under the name "Mary Anne Taylor". Sean kept asking me, "Where is John?" I turned and behind me stood John Mayer. I knew him. Personally. He was there with some woman that I knew, but I never saw her face in the dream; so I have no clue if she was just some famous icon or just some one I knew in life. I remember leaving the party, and on the way down the hill, some "C list" celebrity tried to attack me. When Sean pushed her away I'm pretty sure that Ryan Gosling came out of the woods dressed as Tarzan and tried to kills us with huge stones. .....

The second part of my dream I was in a restaurant. It seemed Asian because every one was sitting on the floor, almost like a tea room where Geisha's would perform. Anyway, I'm dating one of the chefs in this place. Carlito from WWE, except he's not "Carlito" in my dream. He never says a word through at the whole thing, but he did lead me into the kitchen where they were training some new chefs. That's where I saw them. The bunnies. They were going to make some kind of meal out of them. There had to of been like 20 of them, and they were still alive. All of a sudden they start skinning them, chopping off their feet and throwing them into a huge pot of boiling water. I could here the poor things yelping in distress. So weird....

In the last part of my dream that I remember, I'm going to the grocery store with my mom, my grandma, and my brother. I am an only child in reality. The store was like Whole Foods, and it had a restaurant in it. I was dating the chef there. Now it was Adrian Grenier from Entourage. He also never spoke in my dream, and he was always a far off. I did some shopping with my mom, and when we went to check out the bag boy told me that Adrian (I don't think that was his name in the dream, but I can't remember if he one or not) had some thing for me upfront. I went to pick it up and it was a plate of refried black beans. ....

The End.

 I never imagined I would find myself standing in the shade of this tree again. I had tried so very hard over the long years of young adulthood to remove myself from everything that had ever occurred beneath the old branches of this tree. With the sun setting before me and a cool breeze rustling the leaves, I felt my shoulders relax. I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes as the same breeze rustled the memories locked away in my heart. I could hear laughter; that contagious, young, worry free laughter. It seemed so real for a moment that I had to open my eyes. I saw nothing, no one. I had hoped that through some kind of magical release, I would of opened my eyes to see those girls. More than any one though, I would of loved to have seen that one particular young girl. Myself. She use to be so wide eyed, full of wonder and dreams. Oh, to have her dreams again, to fall in love like she did, again, underneath this very oak tree. And that boy. "Mmm.." I hummed with desire. That beautiful, brunette, hazel eyed boy.

No matter how much I tried to forget my childhood, I could never forget that boy. Christopher. My stomach still filled up with butterflies after all these years. My inner child would never let me forget him. Falling in love with him opened my life to many things. Falling out of love, closed my heart. I closed my eyes again. I saw him there in front of me clear as day; his eyes still piercing, his voice soft and lips softer.

My cell rang bringing me back to reality. "Jon" it blinked.

Jon. I stared at the tiny screen for mere seconds that felt like days. I placed the cell back in my pocket. I could always call back. "I had a bad connection." "I didn't hear the phone ring." I would come up with an excuse when the time came. I looked out toward the road where my car was parked. I looked beyond the field. I shivered, but I wasn't cold, maybe just a little lost and lonely, that's all. I felt my legs begin to move beneath me, though I don't exactly remember telling them to. Where was I going? To the past, maybe? To the future? I know I couldn't handle the present at the moment. Jon.....Jon.

Then the most unexpected thing began to happen. Tears, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I closed them quickly, and they streamed down my cheeks. They were burning. I thought for sure that I was going to faint. I was going crazy. Wasn't I? Crying for no reason, is totally unlike me, but at that moment I realized I had no idea who I truly was.

I felt around my neck. Nothing.

I treasured that necklace. The dainty chain had popped a long time ago, but I still had that pendant, hidden in my jewelry box. At the moment, it felt like Chris had given me the world, and I still watched over it from time to time. The cell vibrated again. I didn't have to look. I knew it was Jon. "Hi. I'm still out here. I'll be leaving in a few, I promise. I was just walking back to my car. I'll see you later. You too. Bye." "I love you,Carly." ...I think I still love you, Jon. No, I know I love Jon. It took a while to get there, but I do. It's just this warp zone I'm in. Why does the past make you question everything? I had to leave, I couldn't breathe any more. I'm coming, Jon. I'm coming to you.

All the way to Jon's house I concentrated on his face. I love Jon. I love Jon. I love Jon. I love Jon. "Damn it!" I banged my fist against the steering wheel. I started crying again. I couldn't do this right now. I needed to get to him and bring my thoughts back to the present. I had an hour to get myself together. Yet, that tree, that boy, that young girl, kept haunting me. I grabbed my cell phone. I pressed the call button. "Hey, babe. What's up?" Jon's voice was truly melodic. "Nothing, baby. Just wanted to talk for a bit. I'm a little lonely in the car." He didn't make a sound, but I knew he was smiling. So we talked, and we laughed, and I started coming back to reality.