| | What's Up, How're You Doin'?Hello Xanga. It's been a long time.
I check here at least once a week to see if any of my friends have updated their xangas. But most of you don't. So I don't bother updating this thing. But I try to prove my existence every once in a while.
I'm working on a 10 page essay about Darwinism. It is a subject I believe strongly in, but I hate writing about it. Because writing about it means other people are gonna read it and I'm so afraid of offending others. And evolutionism is such a controversial topic because there are several branches of evolutionism within evolutionism. So no matter what, I'm gonna offend a large number of people if I ever released it to the public.
This is why I like art better. You can be more secretive about it. Cuz for evolutionism, you could draw a bunch of regular iguanas and Marine Iguanas and it will have an evolution meaning behind it, but people can perceive it to be an appreciation for reptiles or liking of the color green or something. But in writing, you actually have to write about evolution for there to be a meaning of evolution in it.
Anyway, that's not really the point.
I would really like to move out and go somewhere far away. But I feel so familiar and secure here. I love NorCal. I'm scared of Mid-Western weather, (no offense...) I don't think I'd like the South, and East Coast is out of the question. West Coast, fo sho. So, according to these criterias, I'm stuck in California, Hawaii, or some foreign country. Such a pansy...
For all of my life, I've been the nice, quiet girl. Just for once, I want to be a total bitch who isn't afraid to tell people to fuck off and tell them every single flaw in their personality. But I can't because I'm afraid of offending people and some of the people who really irritate me see me as a real friend. I lead people on all the time and I hate it. But according to people, I'm "too nice" to make them turn around and go away.
By the way, no, I don't think this way to everyone. It's just two or three people in particular that I wish I could do this to...
I wish lala
Kimi ga waraeba
Sekaijuu ga minna happy nanda
I wish lala
Say hello to what's waiting
Lalalala
Sore dakede...
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| | Posted 10/23/2006 10:59 PM - 1 comments
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