Mtv tells us what's ok anymore. Ok, so most of us don't even watch Mtv, but you get the idea, right? The media is crazy about sex. They tell us that the more of it you have, the happier you are. The commercials for STD medicines are filled with happy people who act as though they suffer no real consequences.

But people are already [usually] attracted to each other. Why is it so important for the media to shove sexuality down our throats every single day? We are obviously a sexually active nation, or else WE WOULDN'T BE HERE. What makes it so vital for advertisers and sitcom producers to make us more and more aware of sexual exploits?

First, let's talk about the advertising. Victoria Secret commercials get it all started. You're showing women in underwear. How appealing to the eye. Most guys already know what women look like in underwear, tv's just showing them something completely unattainable. Commercials for dating services and 900 numbers [if you watch tv that late] have gotten nearly explicit. Do I have to mention Girls Gone Wild?

Then there's sitcoms and shows in general. Desperate Housewives [new on FOX] is riddled with sex. The OC, The Bachelor, Sex in the City, Drawn Together, Will & Grace, Friends, SNL, Real World, and Who Wants to Marry My Second Cousin's StepBrother's Nephew Twice Removed? Sex is everywhere on television. Glorified, objectified, and demoralised. You don't have to love someone to sleep with them.

Our video games are becoming more and more sexual as the time goes on. Did Mario and Princess Toadstool ever have sex? Nope, but now you can hijack a car, screw a prostitute to gain health, and then kill her to get your money back. Something inconceivable in real life, but it's ok in a video game. It implies nothing about your own morals or choices.

It's true though if we think about it. Sex sells because we want it to. We want to be as happy as those people in movies and on television. We want to have as much "fun" as anyone else. So just like anything else, the media's going to sell us what we want. We've become a country who's less concerned about educational persuits and moved to the physical persuits of a sexually dominated media. There's nowhere we can turn and not see something sexual. Is that ok?

For some people it might be. I mean, who wouldn't want to have non-commital premarital sex at the risk of contracting an STD [which 1 out of 3 people will] or becoming pregnant? Where do I sign up for the fun and adventure of ruining a reputation, and an act that has the potential to be really great if I kept it between myself and one person? Because the media tells us that virgins are pathetic, unhappy prudes who've never had a date and promiscuous people are joyful beyond their wildest dreams. Who wants to be painted as a prude?

But who really wants to be painted as promiscuous?

The media says "Don't worry about repercussions! There's no such thing in Hollywood!" which is far and away the most damaging aspect of their imprint on today's culture. America so desperately wants to believe that they can have a sexually reckless lifestyle and come away scot-free. You can rarely come away from a lone sexual experience without some sort of emotional, or sometimes physical, baggage. The media teaches America that condoms offer as much emotional protection as physical, which is never the case. That the pill solves all of our problems, not just prevents unwanted pregnancies.

The real question then, I think, isn't Why Is the Media So Obsessed With Sex? but Why are We Allowing it to be That Way? and Why Are We Letting the Media Tell Us Right and Wrong? If the media ever began to notice that sex doesn't sell, there would be less of it pounding down on us in every single outlet. More people would know the real risks and repercussions of frivolous or premarital sex. Less people would be disllusioned to the idea that they can acheive something portrayed on a television show, or in a music video, or a video game.

Sex isn't what Hollywood is trying to sell us anymore. It's selling us a cheap imitation, and America is eating it up with desperation unparalleled. Kind of makes you wonder what it would be like if Hollywood promoted literacy, secondary education, trades, and family togetherness instead. The media is powerful and shaped this country into what it is today, and now we can only sit and see where it's going to take us next.

§  Come and Get It §

Some of you [namely females] are interested in the details of the engagement. So, because everyone who reads my Lucky13 xanga would not be interested, I decided to post all the mushy details here for anyone who would like to read them. If you do want to comment, you should know that I rarely ever check this xanga, so it's unlikely that I'll see it anytime soon.

§  In The Beginning ...  §

For the benefit of those who don't know much about Daniel and I, here's the short version:

He and I met online in a Christian Singles chatroom via a friend of mine [neither of us was "looking" for anyone at the time]. We corresponded for about 5 months and became good friends and Bible Study buddies. We met in person at Cornerstone 2004, and on July 4th, Daniel told me that he had fallen in love with me [which was good, because I was in love with him].

I went with Laura to Virginia in September and visited him while she spent time with her husband. We were there for two weeks, and he exclaimed that he was going to marry me someday.

Went back to visit again for 10 days in late January. Hung out hard to the core and watched more movies than I can remember. Looked at and tried on the engagement ring he'd bought a couple months prior. Ate dinner with Laura and husband Jeremiah.

§  Monkey in the Middle §

Since January, Daniel and I have spoken very seriously about our futures, what we expect, what plans should be made. Daniel knew that even though I had been married once before [a shotgun wedding] that I'd never been proposed to and wanted very much for that to happen. I was incredibly anxious about that, and when and where it might happen.

One phone conversation about a week before Cornerstone led me to the knowledge that he had no intentions of proposing to me before I moved to Virginia Beach in September. Needless to say I was mildy dissapointed, since it would have been wonderful to be proposed to at Cornerstone - plus I wanted a sign of serious committment. It's hard to tell people how serious you are about someone who hasn't even asked you to marry them yet. I called Laura to talk to her - I knew she would encourage me to be patient until Daniel felt it was the right time, and that I was worth marrying.

Apparantly, she also had a conversation with him, and did what every best girl friend does and told him the things I hoped for, and what I thought would be "romantic". Ever since that day, about 8 days before Cornerstone, he started acting weird, and I couldn't figure out why.

Cornerstone came, and Daniel was still acting weird. We'd planned to have a "date" together that first night [Wednesday] to go and lay out under the stars and talk. He was very adamant about going on this date. We lay down our sheet and look at the stars. I don't have much to say, but he said he had something he wanted to talk about, but was too nervous. I thought he was going to break up with me. After some time of being too close to the road, we decided to pick up and move somewhere farther in. I laid the sheet down and moved to do the same with myself when Daniel just stood and hugged me. I was pretty sure it was then that he would break up with me. But instead, he told me that he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and maybe some other things, but I don't remember. I just remember feeling how fast his heart was beating.

Finally, he took a deep breath, got down on one knee, held out the ring and asked if I would marry him. I cried, and of course I said yes and immediately hit my knees to hug him and kiss him. He was so nervous that he began to put the ring on the wrong hand. We laughed, he fixed it, and we went back to the campsite to tell everyone the good news.

§  It All Works Out in the End §

That's my story folks. We've set a tentative date for March 18th of 2006 in Newport News, Virginia. Laura the Great will be teaching me how to be a good wife in the interim, and I think it'll be a great big party. We're both very excited, and will both have to work very hard to have things ready by then, but we're trusting in God. If we're not ready, then He'll provide things.

Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. Daniel and I are extraordinarily blessed. Stay tuned for an essay about girls who focus on their weddings, as opposed to focusing on their marriage.

I realised that 10 people are actually subscribed to me. How crazy is that?

If you want to see more things that I've written [aside of what's linked on the left] I have two commentaries on the Social Action Republica website.

I've also been comissioned to write for Winterhaven the Community and for a friend's zine called "Someday Soon" [though I am not sure if I'm going to be what he's looking for].

Rest assured that I've not fallen completely stagnant, and that anything I write there will eventually make it's way here.

Why some of you random people are subscribed to this blog, I'll never know. All it is is the planting ground for most of the rants I don't want to take up space on my other xanga with. I have very little that actually goes up on this one and I update every couple days on Lucky13. What pains me the most is how disorganised this xanga and it's posts are. If you want to read anything worthwhile on here then just click one of the links on the left. That will take you so quickly to a good post that you won't know what to do with yourself.

Unless, of course, you have dial-up in which case I'd like you to join us in 2004.

and remember, guest comments are enabled here and my other xanga, so you can ALWAYS leave comments, even if you don't have a xanga yourself.

What I’m going to talk to you about is Christian women, our image, our [sexual] behavior, and our role models [spurred on from a discussion on a forum I visit].

If you're out of high school, it's very likely that you no longer feel the same "pressures to fit in" as you once might have. Some of you, however, cave in anyway, and that seriously needs to stop. Now. There are clear lines of how you're supposed to dress and behave lined up right there in the Bible, and you have no excuse to fall into "everyone one else wears this" or "everyone else has a trashy picture on myspace”.... *Scowl* there is a time to witness with words, and a time to be set apart and witness by your lifestyle.

+ Our Image +

1 Tim 2:9-10 - I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

Paul wanted women to dress in decency and modesty, not like the temple whores who were everywhere in that town. Today, that's the temple of "Sex Sells" and we're called apart from that. If you could be recognized as a temple prostitute instead of a Christian, there's something wrong. 9b shows us that the material outside things are not important to us anymore. It’s one thing to want to look nice, presentable; to own nice, decent clothing that flatters you and fits your style. It’s quite another to be flippant about what you wear and show off the material goods our Father Himself gave you. Is your money best placed in your wardrobe, or the poor box at church? Are you investing in your vanity, or the Kingdom of God?

1 Corinth 10:32-33 - Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God-- 33 even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved

Your brothers have enough problems, as it is with all the sex being thrown at them everyday. It’s your place to make sure that you're not a part of that. How you dress is significant to that. Think about your brethren before you buy that skirt that may look good on you and may be popular, but is a lust magnet.

+ Our Behavior +

I am seriously as perverted as some guys I know. However, that's certainly not acceptable conversation, is it? And neither are any sexual actions that are not with my husband. Too many of you girls love to "make out" and basically give free samples of your sexuality away. How are you any different than those who are not the Bride of Christ? We’re told that it's harmless, it's ok, and guys expect it. Well, sorry about their luck if they're expecting it from me. I don't care if you have been dating a long time or not, that doesn't make it right. I could repost 1 Corinth down here, but I don't have to. When you're making out, your thoughts are not of God. You’re leading your brother's mind down a treacherous path of lust, and it's aimed at you. How much repenting, prayer, and temptation is he going to go through because of you?

i am not an ultra-prude, and there are forms of affection that I feel are satisfactory in letting my sweetheart know that I love him without crossing the line into sexuality because we are not married. Most Christian girls believe in saving sex until marriage, but that includes saving your sexuality. No matter what you want to believe, make-outs are the precursor to sex. Foreplay is also a precursor to sex. Therefore: make-outs = foreplay. Think about it that way, and it may be a lot easier to abstain from "too much alone time" together.

+ Our Role Models +

Matt 1:5b-6a - Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,
          Obed the father of Jesse, 
         6 and Jesse the father of King David.

Ok, let's run with that one. Ruth, great-grandmother to King David. I want to be a woman like that: named and included in the genealogy of the Christ. She was a Moabite, not even a Jew, but followed [in faith] her mother-in-law back to Judah [and presumably became a Jew - as by her oath in Ruth 1:16]. She was blessed with more food than she could eat, the love of a wealthy husband and a heritage that would last forever. How did she do it? Hard work, humility, and faithfulness.

Ruth 2:7 - She said, 'Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.' She went into the field and has worked steadily from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter."

2:13 - "May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord," she said. "You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant-though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls."

3:5-6 - "I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered. 6So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.

She’s better than Hillary Clinton ANY DAY.

Or maybe you're like me with a history of a little less faithfulness but turned your life around like Rahab; a redeemed prostitute who lived among and married a Jew. She and Salmon had a son. any guesses as to who he was? Boaz, husband of Ruth. That’s a great example for us because that means that we can stop our behavior right this minute, and put our faith in God. She and Ruth [who probably never met] are excellent examples of the woman we should be.

Ruth won by faithfulness. Jezebel "won" by sexuality. We know what happened to both of them. So we who live by Christ can shrug off the "role models" that society would like to push on us - as long as we know the role models we have instead.

+ In Conclusion +

We can't hold the world to our morals, but I’m tired of seeing my own sisters not holding up to the Bible's standards.