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SproutedWheatPBJ
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Name: Melyndee
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Woodland
Birthday: 8/27/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: God, His word,running, writing, reading, eating healthy, being in peaceful places, listening to the rain, swimming, or trying to- ALONE, spending time with others, learning from those wiser than I, spending time in solitude, enjoying nature, splashing my feet against the ocean waves, star gazing, school work (yes, school work), making fun out of life
Expertise: We shall see, as God continues to develop my gifts and show me my passions.. I currently would like to teach, preferably English, and perhaps overseas
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  PBCookieDough
AIM:  Melyndee
Member Since:
2/21/2005
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| Give Me JesusI have not written an entry in about a year... busy with many other things, my xanga basically expired, no faithful readers....
But as I was practicing for worship team tomorrow, I listened and practiced a song so beautiful and simple that it was worthy of a xanga post. :)
My heart has been lonely of late... with few friends, and with family fairly far away--a family I love, but a family that still aches with its own problems at home. My heart can become uneasy with uncertainties about the future--with plans, with hopes, and yet without a clear path as to how the Lord will fulfill such plans and His faithfulness in my life. I have no idea where I will eventually end up living, where I eventually will be teaching, if and when I will find that "perfect mate" and be able to marry as I desire and as my friends are--the Lord knows I have some time. And I go to bed with a sigh awaiting a new day which often seems tedious but is still part of the Lord's perfect and blessed plan for my life.
The simple and well-familiar song "Give Me Jesus" helped put things in perspective and once again remind me of the richness of simply knowing Christ--truly, truly our all, our treasure. The lyrics fit perfectly, the violin/ piano rendition by Fernando Ortega soothed my heart with its soft harmonies, and as I toyed with melodies and harmonies on my flute, I spoke forth my own heart. The words say best what bleeds in my inner heart:
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
In the morning when I rise
Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.
And when I am alone,
And when I am alone,
And when I am alone,
Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.
And when I come to die,
And when I come to die,
And when I come to die,
Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.
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| My TestimonyI was preparing this morning to share my testimony with an elder at church for consideration for membership. The time of sharing will not be elaborate, but it helps me to write things out before I go and relate them verbally. In so doing, I thought I would paste what I had written of my testimony on this entry, for anyone interested in reading.  Enjoy.
Often times I think that I have a so-called “boring” testimony of many church-goers. I grew up in a Christian home. I have always gone to church. I was saved at a young age. Since then I have learned to read my Bible more and pray more and grow closer to the Lord and further in righteousness. It almost seems like a formula, and for some time now I have believed that such a testimony could have little impact upon outsiders whose lives are so much different than mine. I reserved the “sharing-of-testimony” time for the converted drug addicts and prostitutes and formerly legalistic Roman Catholics. However, I read a portion of a book recently in which the author recounted an incident in which an outsider actually did relate more to the typical “formulated” testimony than to one that was radical. Thus, it encouraged me to know that the Lord’s working in my own life is unique and purposeful and can be a tool used to further share the gospel with others as well as I relate my own story. Granted, I have not discovered anyone radically inclined by my own story yet, but it does not mean that no one ever will be.
I did grow up in a Christian home. Both of my parents were Christians, and for as long as I can remember I attended church, throughout the various towns that I have lived in during my life. I attended Loyalton Baptist Church in Loyalton, Glenburn Community Church in Fall River and since moving to Woodland, Woodland Bible Church and now First Baptist Church. My youngest memories, though, do not include having a personal relationship with Christ. Rather, they include learning how to meticulously color in the lines during Sunday School, how to manipulate circumstances selfishly to get my own way, and how to whine profusely and pout when things did not. It was not until moving to Fall River that I came to see that there was more to this Christian life than I was experiencing.
To be honest, there is not a lot that I can recall from my actual conversion experience. I could make up and fill in the details, but then this would not be complete honesty. I think I remember my older brother, Josh, coming to know the Lord just shortly after our family’s move to Fall River Mills, right before I entered the 2nd grade. I vaguely recall noticing the change in my brother and being excited for the difference and wanting that myself. What I do remember though is the day in which I received Christ as Lord myself. The summer before 3rd grade I attended two different Vacation Bible Schools put on by local churches in the area—the town was extremely small, so it was no uncommon to be in closer fellowship with other believers from other churches in the town. In both, a gospel message was clearly presented. I remember some friends accepting Christ during the first, but I was not yet ready to make that decision. During the second, I listened intently as the gospel was presented again. I was scared. I did not want to face eternal condemnation for all my sins, and I wanted to go to heaven, to walk the golden roads and to have a mansion prepared for me. And I wanted to be with my Father in heaven for eternity. Again, I don’t remember with whom or at what point, but I talked with someone afterward, probably a teen leader, who once again explained the gospel message to me and led me through a “sinner’s prayer.” I felt forgiven, my wrongdoings covered by Christ, new life within me because of His death and resurrection, and I knew that I was assured of heaven.
Shortly after my conversion, I was baptized in my church, Glenburn Community Church, along with my twin brother, who had also become a believer, and my dad, who had never been baptized before. That was a special and joyful day. Then I remember buying a Precious Moments Bible, one that now is long tattered and falling apart in many sections (I kept it until I was in 5th grade, I think), listening to the Christian music my brother listened to, and trying to obey the Lord. I even tried, some days, to go without sinning once all day, or to obey my conscience, the Holy Spirit, all day, but found that in my own humanness, this was impossible, and that, even when I failed, or still do, Christ’s grace covers me.
Since then, much has happened in my life. A few years after moving to Fall River, our family moved again, to Woodland, CA. I did not want to move there, not by a long shot, but I can see now how the Lord had his faithful hand in the move. Even in just small things, like being able to be involved in WBC and FBC, like meeting my friends and having the experiences and challenges I did in high school, and in hearing about the Master’s College through a Woodland friend and then deciding to go there, the Lord has had his hand in my life and impacted me in a way I probably would never would have been impacted if I we had moved elsewhere. At a young age, I made some Christian friends, and continued to find them along the way. In junior high and into high school I became much involved with the youth group and looked forward each week to the spiritual refreshment in the middle of the week, even if I was busy with homework.
Certainly, my life has not been without its challenges, and it would take far too much time to elaborate on each and every trial the Lord has brought into my life since then, but I can attest to the Lord’s faithfulness to grow us and mold us more into His image, especially as we are refined by such trials. It has been neat to see the Lords faithfulness through and through despite every single bit of my sinfulness and selfishness, how his grace persists, and how when he should have given up on me long ago. He has not turned away, but on the contrary, drawn me closer to him, and grown me. I have experienced a number of trials, and realize I will likely face many more as they are a means to refinement. I have always trusted the Lord for strength and joy during more difficult times, but even more recently, I have really come to appreciate, actually appreciate trials for their refinement, and sometimes even actually desire them for growth. The Lord has been faithful to strip away idols from me, pride, things I feel my identity rested upon, to show me that HE alone is sufficient, and that I am to serve no other idols besides the Lord. And each day I discover more and more what a wretched sinner I am, but how much his grace covers it all. His mercies show bright each day and allow me to get up each morning and begin each day afresh. They allow me to be a little more like Christ each and every day. And they allow me, when I fall (and I do so often!) to get back up on my feet, and as Micah says, return to the light, my sins having been cast into the depths of the sea. I have absolutely no idea how I would live life today without Christ, and I cannot fathom those who have such empty lives themselves. Even on my most selfish of days, Christ still remains my one wonderful source of strength and joy and peace and confidence, the one whom I lean on and rest. The bliss of heaven once meant for me golden roads and a big mansion and assurance that I would not go to hell. It now means to me a wondrous and eternal relationship with my father in which I will ever grow in understand of and in love with Him, one in which I will finally, FINALLY, be sin-free, one in which I will realize that what I experience tangibly of Him now on earth is only a mere glimmer and taste of the splendor I am to experience of Him for eternity. He is worthy of all glory and worship, and I will worship Him forever.
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| I Thank the Lord for SinI know.... that sounds strange. But I do thank the Lord for sin! I often find myself entangled with sin, frustrated, downtrodden, and accepting the lie that as hard as I try, I will just fall again into patterns of undiscipline and complacency with certain sins. Tonight, I found myself repeating a sin I have been convicted over and found myself discouraged after my commitment to repentance. But then, the Holy Spirit was so faithful to guide me, remind me of the truth of his word, and encourage me! I remembered a verse I had read this morning:
"For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity" (Proverbs 16:24). Seven times seems a lot to fall, but he rises again! He does not give up despite falling! Jonathon Edwards once made a resolution that, despite his own failings time and time again, to never give up but keep fighting his own sin. And that's what we do as righteous people, God's chosen people! It's so easy for me, and perhaps many others, to see sin, feel sorrow for it for a time, but then not follow completely through with patterns of obedience, but rather, to be more discouraged than anything by the sin. Yet what encouragement--what grace!--there is to even have the opportunity to continue to rise again!
Sometimes it takes an act of sin itself to bring us back to our knees crying out in humility and shame to God in order that we may be jolted from our complaceny and reminded of the truthfulness of God's word and His promises and provision in our lives and spirits. It's amazing how God uses even our shortcomings for good--indeed, God works all things for good (Romans 8:28)!!!
I do love the Holy Spirit, how He prompts us, and reminds us at just the best moments of scripture we have studied or thought about. I do love the Lord's faithfulness to never let go of us despite how complacent we can be or how much we have been running (whether we realize it at the time or not) in the opposite direction in patterns of undiscipline and complacency. I do love the Lord's goodness, the Lord's lovingkindness, the Lord's compassion, His gentle prodding that is not harsh and critical and absolutely defeating, but loving and prodding, and painful in a way that absolutely pains us to change so that we may honor our Abba. I love that His direction from the Holy Spirit is clear, not watered or foggy, as so much direction from others can be. I do love the Lord. And I do, oh I do, hate my sin, that sin which clings so closely...
But here I rise again! Praise be to God!
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| Silver Lake!Ah, today was amaaazing! My twin brother made the suggestion last night that we all (minus my older brother in Modesto) go up to Silver Lake for the day--fishing seemed prospectable according to the Sacramento news, and it's simply one of our family's favorite places to go, and a wonderful place to be.
Last night (or this morning?) I stayed up until 4:30 cleaning my room. It has been long overdue, and postponed for a variety of things--applications, buying a car, spending time with friends, day trips (Lake Tahoe).... and now with one day less to work on it, since we were gone today, I wanted to get the biggest chunk of it done last night. Jolt gum (caffeinated gum) kept me going, as well as some encouragement from reading through signatures from old high school year books. And, of course, the Lord's strength... and the motivation to get my room clean because it pleases Him when I am a good steward of all that He gives me.
Anyway... because I was fairly tired come 7:30 am, I drove to Starbucks and bought my family drinks--a sugar free, non-fat vanilla latte for me, an iced decaf for my mom, a light orange mocha frap for my brother, and a coffee of the day for my padre. I bought it mainly for him and the long road ahead of it, even half thinking I woudn't buy anything for myself, but then decided that since I do have extra money right now, and I had the car to transport me there, I would buy for all. And what a blessing to see a smile on all their faces.
Right...... at about 11 am, we headed off on our day's journey, stopping by Wal-Mart to buy some fortifications and other necessities (fishing liscences, etc.), and a yogurt place in Florin (I had a few small bites, but am on a sugar fast with Heather Zorichak and refrained, although that's got to be one of the most amazing textures of yogurt I have ever had!!). Instead of driving the same ol', same ol' freeways, we drove the backway up to Silver Lake through Ione. Ah, it was lovely! Shortly after leaving the general Sacramento area country immediately hit, with a much slower-paced feeling, and down-to-earth people. It was a bit dry for this time of the year, but cows were still grazing and fields were wide open to gaze upon in splendor. The little old towns that we drove too were also wonderful and quaint as well--I get a thrill driving through them each time we do. If I could relocate now, perhaps I'd move to one of this little quaint towns... quite simply lovely, quite simply peaceful, room to think and bask.... room to reflect upon all the Lord has been and is teaching me (now, of course, perhaps I verge on idolizing comfort--I'm not saying I'd actually move here--I'm just saying it would be pretty amazing!).
On the way there I listened to some of the soundtrack from Braveheart (amazing music, and fitting for a whimsical country drive), read some from Piper's Book "When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy" and some from Francine River's book, "A Voice in the Wind" (part of the Mark of the Lion Series--good reads, and so hard to put down!!). It got to be windy, and books, cars and windy roads do not suit my equilibrium well, so I promptly snatched my twin brother's sidekick, a stuffed camel, and used him for a pillow to take a nap. Of course, he didn't mind--he's very good about serving others (especially me) in this manner, even if his backside is pressed up against the car window and his plastic eye smooshed and scratched. No, he suits me just fine.
I noticed it get breezier and cooler and realized that we were heading into the Silver Lake area--wohoo! The elevation here is between 7000-7500 feet, and there was still some snow on the ground, more so in some places than others. We saw the lake ("I saw the lake!" "I saw the lake!", or so the family tradition goes), and then stopped at Kay's for fishing. I actually didn't fish. I didn't want to buy a $17+ provisional liscence for one day, and though it would be great fun, I'm not sure if I'll be out much more on lakes and rivers to fish again. Instead, I brought everything I needed to go on some good runs. My parents and brother scrambled down on the rocks, and I wiggled in the car's tight corners, changing my clothes and lacing up my running shoes.
The run was wonderful. Since the elevation is so high, it was actually quite difficult to run (in comparison to say, yesterday's run), but it still felt great, and running around Silver Lake was just sooo beautiful and refreshing. I smelled the pine trees, felt the snow, gazed at the silver-sparkling lake, watched an aluminum boat from afar, and let myself free to run, at least up to the end of the 1.5 mile road or so to the Boy Scout cabins (which were all vacant). I then got onto a nearby trail after crossing a bridge with a bubbling snow brook beneath, found a great patch of granite rocks, and sat down and prayed.
There has been so much on my mind, too much or too specific or too personal to elaborate completely in detail here, but I loved spending some solitary time in the mountains and in such beauty alone with the Lord. It was as if the run was a metaphor for my racing, often confused mind, and finally at rest, talking sweetly with my Lord. Unfortunately, the prayer time ( at least in the sitting position on the rock) was cut short because swarms of mosquitos were attacking me. (I woudln't be surprised if I wake up with mosquito "chicken pox" tomorrow!). I did, however, continue it for the remainder of my run, somewhat sporadically, but also spending time to reflect and think. I did the first trek there and back listening to Braveheart on my ipod, and then I ran it all over again, this time "naked" (that is, without an ipod), which allowed so much more freedom, freedom in thought, freedom in movement, etc. I ran with my digital camera with me this time and took a handful of beautiful shots--my camera's not the greatest of quality, but I was at least able to capture some good shots. I even found a sign in front of the house that read "The Parker's"--I had to take that picture for my roommate, Kim Parker.
We left the lake, and my bro and I did a mini hike up Tragedy Springs to get some really good spring water. (Ah, sure beats Woodland water any day!). We then drove back home, this time via the Immigrant Trail backroads--again, some beautiful, beautiful stuff as the sun was beginning to set.
We arrived in Placerville and had Pizza Factory--this has been tradition to eat here ever since we have been going to Apple Hill in the fall (for as long as I remember), and the pizza was, as always, great! My mom liked the cheese, I liked the sweet crust, and so we were all happy. It just brought back some good, nostalgic memories, since I have not been able to go to Apple Hill since I've been away at college. I kept reading Francine Rivers until we arrived in Woodland....
On a deeper level, there are some great things I appreciated about the day. For one, the entire family was in amazingly good spirits, and I just grew in my appreciation for my beloved family. It sure was great for my dad especially to just visit some of HIS favorite places, bringing back a flood of memories, letting his own mind free to be cleared and think again after a very busy week. Praise God for that. Secondly, it spurred my thinking about the purpose of enjoyment, which was very fitting to Piper's first chapter in "When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy." I often feel like I should not be enjoying anything--I realize this is skewed, but partly this stems from the often very serious minded TMC students with some convictions that I don't always agree with (and don't get me wrong there! I do love the truth and teaching at Master's, as well as the people). I just feel tugged with the lie that if I am enjoying something, then I am probably doing something wrong. I enjoyed this day so much, the amazing beauty of God's creation throughout Northern CA, the peace it brought to my mind, the time I had to pray and reflect, the run, and how much I love running, etc. And I do believer, with the proper mindset, we can enjoy these things, and ultimately MUST have joy, joy in the Lord, as it is commanded!! There are certain things that are unique to me, things I am passionate about. And perhaps TMC puts too much emphasis on placing head knowledge above all else, or fitting a cookie cutter mold, but God has created each of us so uniquely, with different gifts, with different passions, with different things that make our hearts leap with excitement. We have but a short time on this earth, and I believe it IS wasted if we do not respond to the individual ways God has created us and enjoy these things for His praise and glory. So I ran a lot, and maybe others woudln't do this--so what? I loved it!! So I was in bliss for the beauty of God's creation, and maybe others would find their time better spent studying books in a library--oh, I loved the Creation!! And praise God for who He's made ME to be, praise Him that is is HIM on who we fix our hope, the one who "richly supplies us with all things to enjoy" (1 timothy 6:17).
How Great Thou Art... praise Him!!
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| Well.... I had my first truly "aaammmmmaaaaazing" run of the summer. It's been a struggle, as I've been out of shape, not having run as much as I am used to last semester, but here I am home, able to eat better and healthier food, able to increase my health and fitness and run for the joy God provides for me so richly. I do believe that He is most glorified when we are good stewards of the gifts He has given us and when we work diligently so that we may be able to perform out best and them AND enjoy them as best as we can. I struggled with this thought this semester, after having chosen to not run cross country for my senior year. Should I be running? Maybe I should neglect running, since I have no reason to run, and simply place my focus on my studies and people. Is running wrong? Why do people look at me as if I am doing something wrong going out for a 9 mile run if I am not running cross country? I shouldn't be allowed to have such joy--perhaps it's selfish. Ah, my thinking, at times, was skewed, skewed because of some convictions at TMC that people set as black and white, when they are actually gray. Yes, some very well might say that I was being selfish going on so many runs, but here at home, when I find the wind in my back, when I have that time of escape and rest away from everything, when I have my ipod on such encouraging music, or even nonsense, or no ipod at all, when I have such great time to think and pray, or even just time to not think at all... when my legs start moving and my heart starts beating, when I increase my speed and just go for it, when my legs feel like elastic and I can't help but smiling, at myself, at the Lord for the gift He's given for my blessed enjoyment, at the others that I pass.... I definitely believe the Lord is glorified!!!
Today's run felt good. I went out for my "Woodland favorite 9," and 8.5 mile loop that I love around Woodland. I had swam this morning and worked out with weights, so I was expecting to be somewhat heavy, but I actually felt springy and quick, for the first time this summer, after taking two weeks off the week before and the week of finals. At one point, some muscular man was running, but no no, no one would beat me.... (okay, okay... I suppose that's a bit prideful. ), so I ran ahead of him and kept a good pace. It was so fun--it felt like a race and reminded me of my racing days, then got me thinking about the marathon I have my eyes sat on in November. I certainly will miss cross country (the reasons for not running will have to wait for another entry), but there is no reason I cannot enter road races or a marathon or two... my competition does not have to end. And my hot pink Nike racing flats do not have to merely hang on a nail on my running wall--they can, no, they will be once again on my feet, little bobbles of some sort sticking out from my pom-pom socks.
I ran into my dad on my run! He was out on his 1.5 hour walk, finally done with school and meetings for the day, so that was an added blessing. Haha! We chatted for a bit, I offered him my ipod for music, but he let me keep it. I came in and finished my run about 8:50, just as it was starting to get dark.
Ah, praise God for the millions of blessings that He gives us daily, so many things that He gives us to enjoy that we don't deserve. Praise Him for gifts we can exercise to bring back glory to Him. And praise Him.. as we seek Him, He blesses us all the more. Praise, praise Him!
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