I've never been one to complain about headaches and problems with my health. I've been getting these chest pains for a while now and somehow i manage to deal and let it pass without anyone knowing that I'm actually feeling pain. It's quite hard to move let alone take breaths.

Having said that I've been thinking,and reading,and looking at my older posts. I think its time for me to grow up and spread my wings. I haven't explored my possibilities yet. The door was open for me, yet I had failed to go through to wander the other side.  I have no curiousity...or do I?  Maybe I just wanted to stay and embark on the journeys and experience all the things I had missed out on while beging at home.  Perhaps this year was a bust to many people but to me I can say that I've probably lived my life for the first time this year.  But now its time for me to grow as person rather than hold on to that limb that extends as I'm growing. 

I've gotten the break and vacation that I've wanted for a while now.  Its getting old. I don't want to get married anymore. I don't want to be in a realtionship either. I don't want anything. I've gotten to become very selfish. I just want to grow as a person. I want to learn and become succesful. I want to build a career out for myself. I want to nurture a business and watch it grow. I have a lot of dreams. I've become quite ambitious.

I look back at the way I used to mentally torture myself and just sigh. Its quite sad really. One of my Aunts were explaining to me about how I have so much opportunity.  And shes right. I have so much to live for.

My expriences this year have made me to become quite heartless.  I've cared so much about people and what they need and want that i've often restricted and stripped myself of my hapiness.  My desire to make people happy has been engulfed by a flame thats hotter than the flame that used to burn for love. I don't care about anyone but my parents and siblings now.

I dont even like love songs anymore..........

I dont care for hindi movies as much either........... 

Hardship of being a weak female

 Part 1

    She walks, holding her head up high through the bright illuminated hallways of her own George Nelson Tremper High School, pushing her books against her chest as she struts into the library, her favorite part of her school.  She walks past the yellow traffic light glistening green instead of the red or yellow. That meant it was ok for the students to check into the library during that class period.  "Hello Mrs. Stems! How was your day?" she asked as she flashed a bright smile and set her belongings onto the desk next to the yellow traffic light. With her was a blue spiral notebook, a flimsy purple folder filled with loose leaf paper, a black ball point pen, and a dark green faber castel pencil that she had picked up from the floor as her class left. Everyone knew about her tendencies of picking up after others, they knew that if they were ever falling apart they could go to her to pick up the pieces and have her put them back togther. Ria was just that type of girl.  As she starts to pick up the fish food from the counter by Mrs. Stamms desk, Ronnie walks in and grabs a hold of her waist and pinches her.

    "GOSH! What was that for?", she asked as she rubbed her side. Ria was known to be cool headed and friendly. Even if she wanted to scream, yell, kick, and shout, you could never get it out of her. She hated being touched. "May I please use the restroom Mrs. Stamm?",she asked.

Unreal